Back to Life
by alliz
Summary: After a broken engagement, Bella finds herself back in her hometown working for her sister and brother-in-law. Her past and present come full circle when she realizes her high school boyfriend, Edward, will be working with her. Their ending was explosive, causing Bella to keep a secret from him all these years. Is it better to know you're alive by living, or to keep yourself closed
1. Chapter 1

**Thank you so much to my beta, Iris, for cleaning this up, you're a doll! Thanks to MrsSpaceCowboy for prereading and Ceci for my beautiful banner! And Nic, I'm not sure I have words enough to thank you with. You're the best hand-holding, prereading pimp there ever was! Thank you so much! Gigantic thank you to everyone reading this! Any mistakes are mine!**

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I'd wanted to get out of this town the entirety of my adolescence. Now, at the age of 25, I'm back in the one place I've tried to forget, tried to escape.

I grew up in the mountains of North Carolina in a picturesque small town named Waynesville, where the snowbirds spend their summers and the locals can't wait for wintertime. It's a place that still values manual labor and refuses to come into the 21st century. The people are as country as the music they prefer to listen to, and there's no patience for outsiders. It's a great place to raise children, has a low crime rate, and is the type of place where everybody knows everyone else, which is also why it's hell; everyone else is always in your business.

My sister, Alice, is excited for my homecoming. We've had our ups and downs in the past, not seeing eye to eye on many issues, but family's always there for you when you need it. Southern values dictate that type of solidarity. We choose to agree to disagree and move along to more kosher subjects. We couldn't be more different; I'm the night, and she's definitely the day, always bright and shining regardless of the darkness that surrounds her. She married her husband, Jasper, when she was sixteen and now has five children with a sixth on the way.

I pull onto the gravel-covered drive of my new-to-me home just after dark. It's a small, rustic wood cabin with a covered back deck that sits next to a stream. Behind the stream is a cow pasture with a few cows. There's a field beside the house growing corn with creepy, mannequin scarecrows keeping watch.

It's all very country and so different from the city I just left. Walking into the cabin, I see the remnants of my life in cardboard boxes sitting in their designated locations. Alice met the movers here today, and my bed is all put together and ready for me to fall into, which is exactly what I do. I'm exhausted from the drive, but my mind is plagued with thoughts of Garrett and the break up. Tossing and turning all night, I wake as the sun comes shining through my curtainless window.

I told Alice I would meet her at the wood yard once I'd showered and eaten. Jasper owns a landscape and lawn care business, and also sells firewood from a lot on Dellwood Road, one of the main thoroughfares in Waynesville. The yard is the hub of the business; all the transactions take place there, and Alice runs it. Well, she'll run it until she can train me how to schedule jobs, take orders for wood, pay bills, and designate what workers go where on which days. Then, it's all me. Alice has a few more months before she's due and could probably continue to work without a problem, but the guise of a job is an easy excuse for her to give me money and for me to accept.

As I pull into the yard, the workers are leaving for their assignments for the day. Trucks fitted with various tools and large equipment pass me in a convoy. The last driver in the line catches my eye. He has a thick, reddish-brown beard and a trucker hat pulled down low on his head. The hat isn't low enough to hide the piercing gaze being shot my way. It's one I haven't seen since I left Waynesville, and it looks just as angry now as it did then. _Shit_. I didn't think I'd have to deal with him this soon. I wasn't aware he works for Jasper, something Alice _should_ have told me before talking me into this whole job thing.

I park my car and head into the office to find out what the fuck she's thinking, omitting that little tidbit of information. I know she doesn't know exactly what went down between us, but a little heads up would've been nice.

"Hey! You made it! How was the drive? Are you tired?" I'm still reeling from my past smacking me in the face when she greets me with a hug and some word vomit at the door.

"Yeah, it was a long drive. Thanks for meeting the movers and putting my bed together for me. I would've slept on the floor if you hadn't. I was dead on my feet."

"I know you would've, which is why I went ahead and did it. I didn't want to give you any excuses to not show up this morning." She smirks at me. Her hair catches my eye; it's shorter than I remember but still the same dark brown, almost-black mine would be without the chemicals. I don't think she's ever bleached or colored it in the 31 years she's been alive. That seems so strange to me, because everyone I know changes their hair color regularly. It's just another difference between where I've been and where I am. She sits in front of her desk and pulls herself up to where her bump touches the edge, and for a moment, I'm taken back. A flash of things that could've been comes to mind, and it's all I can do to swallow the lump in my throat and keep the tears at bay. It's way too early in the day for the liquor and pity party that usually follow this line of thinking.

"Speaking of excuses not to show up, why didn't you tell me Edward works for Jasper?" My voice tries to betray my indignant tone as it cracks. I quickly school my features into a look of annoyance before she has a chance to question it.

"I didn't think it mattered. You two haven't dated in years, and you were almost married to Garrett. Why would you care?" To anyone who doesn't know the history, it's a very appropriate question. If things were as they seemed on the outside, I probably _wouldn't_ care. It'd just be a very mundane thing, us having dated once upon a time. That's not what it is, though. Our past is an event, a marker in time that changed me forever.

"It _doesn't_ matter. I just wasn't expecting to see Edward Cullen first thing this morning." I'm such a liar. I just don't want to get into it with Alice right now. I knew I was going to cross paths with him eventually; I just didn't plan on it being today or every day from now on. Before she can ask any other questions I don't want to answer, I divert her attention by asking about what she does on a daily basis. The rest of the morning is spent learning what a "cord" and a "half cord" of wood are, as well as the mowing rates for weekly, bi-weekly, and monthly cuts. I also learn about the workers, which ones actually work, and which need a swift kick in the ass to get moving. There's a lot more that goes into this job than I originally thought, which is a good thing; idle hands being the devil's workshop and all.

Around noon, Alice says she's going to the bank and will grab us some lunch while she's out. There isn't much in the way of traffic coming through the yard, so I decide to stack some wood that's been chopped. I take two logs and lay them parallel to one another, then add two more pieces on top of the first two in the opposite direction. I keep on this way until I've built a tower that's my height, and then I then start a new stack. I don't have gloves on, so my hands are dirty and the skin on my arms is scratched up. There's a weird satisfaction in creating something with your bare hands − a sense of accomplishment.

Before coming back here, I'd been so stagnate in my job. I worked as a corporate accountant in a cube farm, transferring data from one column of a spreadsheet to another. I would go days without interaction from another human. Everything was so corporatized and monitored, I thought I would choke on the rules and regulations. After I called off the engagement to Garrett, there was no reason to stay in Atlanta. I hated my job and was ready for something different. I knew I didn't want to find another accounting job here, not that I could; there are hardly any fast food chains in Waynesville, let alone corporations in need of accountants.

Alice returns, breaking my train of thought. She climbs out of her Armada, arms laden with brown paper bags. I think she's brought enough food to feed an army. I quickly make my way over to help her carry it into the office. "I went to Ammons. You use to love it there, right?" I haven't had Ammons in years, and I'm really glad she remembered. "I got you a hot dog with ketchup only and a BBQ sandwich with ketchup only, because I couldn't remember which one you liked more."

I'm surprised she remembered I liked the place and even more so that she remembered my two favorite menu items and the way I liked them. It kind of makes me feel like an asshole. I couldn't in a million years tell you if she even liked Ammons and certainly not what she'd order.

"You're amazing, and this is perfect. Thank you!" I watch as a small smile plays on her lips while she digs through the bags for her food. We eat in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company. Once we're finished, I continue making stacks of wood while Alice sits in a lawn chair watching. She tells me about the different kinds of wood they sell and what each type is good for.

The workers start filtering in slowly around four. As they come in and begin putting away tools, they notice me with Alice and throw sideways glances our way. I can see them talking amongst themselves while continually looking at me, then at Alice, and back at me again. I'm mentally rolling my eyes; small towns and their gossip. Apparently, it's not just women who like to gab. Alice calls out to the guys, and tells them to come and meet her sister. They cease their conversations almost immediately and lope their way over to us. The first of the guys is a scrawny-looking kid with a STIHL hat propped sideways on his head. He has messy brown hair sticking out in all directions from underneath it. As he approaches, I notice his jaw has a bulge in it, almost like he has a jawbreaker stuck low in his cheek. He turns his head to the left and spits out some tobacco juice. I mentally cringe and hope the look of distaste isn't showing on my face.

"Seth, this is my sister, Bella. Bella, this is one of the newest of Jasper's crew, Seth." He raises his hand and gives a little wave in my direction. Alice goes on to tell him that she's training me to take over for her at the yard. The rest of the guys walk over as she's finishing instructing Seth to treat me as he would her.

"So this is the infamous Bella," I hear snorted out from a rather large man. I turn to look at him and try to figure out exactly what he's getting at. His sky-blue eyes are dancing with laughter, but I don't think he's laughing _at_ me; more like an inside joke only he's privy to.

"This goober here is Emmett. He's Jasper's right-hand man and acts in more of a supervisory capacity. Usually he runs one crew and Edward runs the other when Jasper is out doing estimates." Alice continues to introduce me to the men. "This is Crowley, Wormy, and Jake." The three men offer mock salutes and mumble hellos as they continue getting finished up for the day. Emmett is still standing and looking at me with a furrowed brow, like he's trying to do algebraic equations in his head. _What the fuck is his problem?_ I wonder as another work truck rumbles past us.

I turn my head in time to see Edward climb out of the driver's seat, nod a greeting in Alice's direction, and head to what I'm guessing is his own vehicle outside the gate. _Great!_ I thought this was going to be awkward. "Well, you already know Edward, so I guess that introduction isn't really necessary anyway," Alice helpfully points out.

Since it's quitting time, I decide I'll just head back to my house to start with the unpacking and organizing. I tell Alice goodbye and that I'll see her in the morning at the same time. As I'm heading to my car, I see Emmett and Edward in a heated conversation. I can't hear what they're saying, but there are definite hand and arm movements with stern looks adorning both their faces. As I pass them, my eyes lock with Edward's, his narrowing while his expression turns positively glacial. Their conversation stops mid-sentence, and I feel both sets of eyes on me. My stomach is in knots, and I really just want to get the hell out of here, stop by an ABC store, and drink myself into unconsciousness.

God bless the South and its liquor stores on every corner right next to the churches.

The stop at the ABC store yields me some Sailor Jerry. When I get back to the house, I begin the ritual of unpacking and deciding where to put the things I deemed worthy of keeping in my haste to get out of Atlanta. I don't even know what I have in these boxes; I just remember packing and the feeling of suffocating if I didn't get out as fast as possible. My dishes didn't even get newspaper cushioning before being boxed away. I'll be surprised if there's little more than ceramic debris left over. I reward myself with swigs of liquor for every couple of items distributed to their new home.

By the time I've finished with the kitchen items, I'm well on my way to wasted and couldn't be happier about it. The more I drink, the less shitty I feel. When hammered, I don't have to deal with the constant barrage of self-deprecating thoughts. I can make myself believe I'm awesome and great, not stupid or selfish, which I am on both counts. It's a slippery slope to try and navigate sober.

Before I get too far gone, I set the alarm on my phone to ensure I make it back to the yard in the morning. I don't want to give Alice ammunition; I'm already pegged as the "undependable" one in the family. I'm really not sure how I got the reputation, either. I just know that's what my family thinks. You can see it on their faces at holidays or birthdays. The "Glad you could make it" rings in my ears with "Surprised you came" instead. They never could understand my leaving or why I'd wanted to. It's been a source of contention for as long as I can remember.

You would think going to college and earning a degree would be something most parents would want for their children, to experience life outside of a small town and culture beyond the tree line of the mountains. I think mine took it as a personal insult, like I was saying they and what they stand for isn't good enough for me. I guess, looking back, maybe I was harsh about the mountain way of life. I'd never made any bones about the fact that as soon as I was able, I'd be getting the hell out of this small-minded, ass-backward town.

My mom and dad divorced when I was twelve. Alice had already been married to Jasper for two years by then, so she missed most of the fireworks from that explosion. Mom cheating on my dad with Jasper's Uncle Harry was the nail in the coffin that was their marriage. Daddy couldn't handle the betrayal and life without mom, so he moved to Canton where my Aunt Charlotte, his sister, keeps an eye on him. I'm pretty sure my love of the bottle is hereditary.

Mom didn't stay with Harry. She's already been married twice since daddy. The newest guy, Phil, seems to be all right. He's a hard worker and treats mom decently, so I guess that's all I can ask for. I love both of my parents; I'm just not able to relate to either of them.

I wake curled around a mostly empty liquor bottle with what was to be my wedding dress tucked under my arm like a teddy bear. At least I wasn't wearing it this time. I crawl into the shower to wash away last night's booze and regret. As I fold my arms over each other and lean my head against them, the slightly-less-than-scalding hot water rains down my back. This is the downside to my reminiscing. The morning after hurts almost as much as the memories themselves. I do it for the absolution I find in the few hours my mind turns off once the alcohol takes over.

After washing, I drag my body out of the shower to get ready for another day of training with Alice. At least today is Friday, and I'll have two whole days after this one to pull myself back together should there be any more Edward run-ins. I know we need to talk just to clear the air, but I don't know what to say. Judging by the less than warm welcome I received from him, he's looking forward to the talk as much as I am.

I get to the yard early before anyone else and have my fingers crossed that Alice is the next to arrive. I hate the awkward dance around getting to know new people, and having to make small talk with one of the guys I met yesterday sounds painful. God didn't hear my pleas and must have an unusual sense of humor, because before I know it, I see the 4Runner Edward was standing outside of yesterday turning into the lot. _Fuck._

He parks a little ways away from me, but I can see his hands clenched around the steering wheel and his eyes closed with his head tilted forward. I watch as his lips move, like he's in prayer. I feel a little voyeuristic but am enjoying getting this minute to ogle his profile. He's still the most beautiful man I've ever seen. More than his looks, though, I miss his friendship and our relationship. Once we were over, it felt like a part of me was missing, one I still haven't found. I'm lost in him, and startle when his eyes open and he turns to catch me gazing. His features harden, and I can actually see him steel himself, getting ready to deal with me. _Oh, this is going to hurt._ He looks like he's ready for battle. He keeps eye contact with me as he opens his door and steps out.

I follow his lead, taking a deep breath and trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever happens next. He has to walk past my car to get to the gate, so I wait for him to cross the distance. He doesn't stop walking once he gets to me, and I practically have to jog to keep pace with him.

"Edward, hey! Wait up!" Nope, he isn't waiting. He keeps his forward progress until he reaches the locked gate. "Edward, can we talk for a minute?" Ignoring me, he takes his keys out of his pocket, proceeds to unlock the gate, and pushes it open. I know he's mad, and I understand that. I'm mad, too. Resorting to grade school tactics isn't going to get us anywhere, though. "Really? This is how it's going to be?" I growl out.

That gets his attention. He whips his body around, and his eyes are on fire. I can feel wrath emanating from his every pore. His eyes narrow, and his mouth twists into a snarl. "You fucking made it this way, Bella. You chose this, not me." He punctuates the end of his sentence with a finger pointed in my face, and it feels like a punch to the chest.


	2. Chapter 2

My beta is Iris, who is just amazing - thank you for doing your magic and making it readable! Thanks to Nic and MrsSpaceCowboy, my prereading extraordinaires! Also big thanks to Ceci for making my pretty banner! And thanks to you for reading this!

Any mistakes are my own.

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No one else has arrived yet, so I decide to drive around town for a bit to calm myself and let the red dissipate from my complexion. I don't want Alice to know about my minor meltdown. I'm not paying attention to where I'm driving; I'm simply lost in thought. Before I know it, I've driven to the public library. Edward and I use to spend afternoons after school here − not actually inside the building, but fooling around in the parking lot. It has a large field with overgrown trees beside it. He would start to tickle me, so I'd run away and he'd chase me. I always let him catch me.

Realizing I've spent more time than I should have wandering around, I decide to head back. I drive through Hardee's and take a stab at guessing something Alice might like. Can't go wrong with cinnamon and raisin biscuits. If she doesn't like them, more for me. When I get back, Alice is there, as well as a couple of other cars. Nothing like human buffers.

Alice thanks me for breakfast and shovels the biscuits down in record time. She asks me how the unpacking's going, if I've made much in the way of progress. I've definitely made a dent in the unboxing of items, but progressing I'm not. I don't share my revelation with her; I just confirm there's still lots to be done. The men start streaming inside, chatting with each other as they wait for the other crews to show and get their day's assignments.

Edward comes in behind Seth, not looking anywhere near my direction. I watch as he interacts with the other guys. They laugh and joke, and he's in the middle of it, but at the same time, he's removed from it. He observes them like they're jesters in front of the king. Emmett's the last through the door, and Alice calls everyone to attention once she sees him enter.

"Edward, Seth, and Jake have the Newton's place out on Leicester, Mrs. Mallory's trailer park, as well as her house, and Mrs. Jamison's house. I don't care what order you do them in as long as they all get done today." Groans are heard all around from Edward's guys. I look at Alice in confusion.

"Mrs. Jamison's around eighty, and enjoys watching the guys work while she's dressed in nighties and perched on her porch." That certainly explains their lack of enthusiasm. Alice finishes assigning jobs sites for the day and dismisses the men. "We're all going to O'Malley's tonight once we're finished up, and you're coming, too. The unpacking can wait." I'm not even close to arguing. I'm ready for a drink now, and it's still before noon.

"Sounds good to me. Seems like slightly questionable behavior for a pregnant lady, though." She laughs and nudges me with her shoulder. "You ready for more learning about the wonderful world of wood and lawn care?" I raise my eyebrows and feign an excited face. "Am I ever!"

The guys are headed out the door to disperse for the day, and surprisingly enough, my anxiety level's lowered by half. Emmett walks over when everyone else is gone. "You coming out with us tonight, Bella?" He's jovial, but I still feel awkward around him. I'm not sure if it's me or maybe that weird thing with him and Edward before I left yesterday. "Alice informed me I wasn't allowed to skip, so I guess I'll be there." He looks really happy about this. "Okay. Good! I'll see you tonight!" He leaves, and I turn to Alice.

"What's up with him?"

"He's a really outgoing guy, Bella. He's never met a stranger he didn't like, and considers Jasper and me family. Since you're my sister, you're family, too. He and his wife, Rose, are just the sweetest people you could ever meet. All the kids call them Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett, and they babysit from time to time." I'm slightly mollified at her explanation. He does seem to be fun, and I could use some fun in my life.

Alice and I spend the day going over the same things as yesterday. She quizzes me about the types of wood and services we offer, as well as costs. I get almost all of the questions right. After a little while, a Subaru hatchback pulls in, and Alice sends me to see what the customer needs. A guy with a receding hairline and a ponytail rolls his window down as I approach. He's squinting at the sun behind me, and puts his hand above his right eye to shield it from the light and still be able to see me.

"Can I get two stacks of wood?" he asks in a gruff voice. This man must smoke at least two packs a day; the stench of old cigarettes permeates the air coming from inside the car, and I can almost see the nicotine layers on the steering wheel.

"Sure thing. Pull over to where the stacks are, and I'll load them for you." He drives away, and I walk over to my towers, sad to be taking them down, and put them into this smoky stranger's car. When I've finished, he hands me a twenty and a five, and tells me to keep the change. A $5 tip is nice for all of three minutes of work. The Subaru pulls back out onto Dellwood, and I return to my lesson inside.

The rest of the afternoon passes in a blur of questions thrown at me in between customers buying wood and making appointments for Jasper to do estimates for work. It's a good thing to see the business booming like it is. There are a lot of lawn care businesses around here, but it seems like Jasper's work ethic and charming personality are paying off in spades, which keeps this place thriving.

When I was younger, I remember talk of Jasper being slutty. Nobody thought he'd ever settle down. He comes from a long line of eternal bachelors. My sister married him when she was sixteen, and if you'd have asked anyone, they'd have told you it would never last. Statistics alone show that it shouldn't have lasted. Fifteen years and soon-to-be six children later, they're still going strong. It hasn't been an easy road, but I'm really impressed and slightly jealous of them. They don't make love stories like that anymore.

The end of the work day looms near, and I know the workers will soon be returning, putting me on edge. Alice must sense it. "It's almost beer-thirty!" she exclaims.

"You did not just say that."

"I did. You look like you're ready. I'm happy it didn't take more convincing to bring you out tonight. You still haven't met all of Jasper's guys. Some only work on an as-needed basis, and they'll all be there. They've heard me gush non-stop about my sis coming home since I found out you were moving back."

She smiles at me so warmly that it radiates from her pores. I know she's genuinely happy I'm home, but drawing attention to it grates on my nerves. It makes me feel inadequate and wholly unworthy of her affections, like something must be wrong with me because I didn't miss her while I was gone.

Trying to not let the agitation show on my face, I return her smile, though I know it doesn't quite meet my eyes. Anxiety and nervousness constantly sit inside my chest nowadays. Being comfortable in my own skin isn't something I've felt since I left for school almost seven years ago, and this kind of intimacy between me and Alice is something I don't know how to process.

Before things get more awkward between us, the door opens and a blond man walks inside. He's wearing a shirt with the sleeves cut off. He has grass stains on the knees of his jeans and grass clippings in his hair. His skin is a nice golden brown from days spent in the sun. He's removing his sunglasses as he makes his way over.

"Bella, this is Chase Newton, Mike's younger brother. Chase, this is my sister, Bella." Alice happily introduces me. Mike graduated with Edward and me. He was one of the rednecks we would always shake our heads at. I'm pretty sure it was Mike who put his balls on an electric fence in a $20 bet. From what I remember, he and Edward didn't get along too well; mutual toleration is what I would call it.

"Nice to meet you." Chase extends his hand to shake mine, and our palms slide against each other. His hand is warm and feels nice wrapped around mine. He smiles, and I can tell he's use to getting his way with women. I'm not really interested, but I'll play nice.

"You, too, Chase. I didn't know Mike had a brother." The people from high school I keep in touch with are few and far between. I didn't have many close friends, and those I did have are now just people I used to know. I'm pretty sure they all still live in Waynesville.

"He's four years older. You guys graduated the year before I started. Man, Mike use to have the biggest crush on you! I use to give him shit about it all the time." This is news to me. Mike was popular and never lacking for company of the female persuasion. I wouldn't have ever guessed he was into me, but then again, I never saw past Edward.

"Wow. Okay. So you work with Jasper?" I'm just going to move on from that subject. Even if Edward hadn't been there, Mike wouldn't have been on my radar.

"Yeah. I do a little of everything, but I mainly help out on landscape design projects. Today I got a call from Edward saying he was running behind and needed me to do Mrs. Jamison's yard." He sends a pointed look in Alice's direction. "I busted my ass to get done and out of there as fast as possible."

Alice giggles, and I wonder if she's picturing Chase flying across a lawn on a mower with grass clippings whipping around him like a tornado, too. Chase doesn't look too pleased. Attempted seduction by the elderly's kind of nauseating, so I think I understand.

"Chase, I'm sorry. I'll make sure you don't have to go next time. I promise." She's trying really hard to be serious but is fighting back a laugh. "We're headed out to O'Malley's. Why don't you come with us? I'll buy you a beer to make up for it." He readily agrees, and we head outside.

The guys are getting things wrapped up for the end of the day. The work they do on the daily is strenuously hard labor, but the way they laugh and joke belies that. They have a solid camaraderie that shows the trust each one has in the other.

Alice tells me she'll see me at O'Malley's as we head to our cars. We walk through the gate, and Edward's holding the sliding part, waiting for everyone to go through so he can lock it.

"We'll see you there, yeah?" Alice questions as we pass Edward. He takes a deep breath, and lets it go while his green gaze flickers to me and back before he answers "Sure thing. Wouldn't miss it."

I pull into the parking lot of the bar and get a parking space right up front. Alice's Armada is a few spots down, so I know we've already got a table. The inside's dimly lit with neon lights, and the bar's long and lined with patrons. There are a few tables pushed together where our crew is gathered. I take the seat between Alice and Chase, Jasper's on the other side of Alice and across from him is Seth, and then it's Edward and Emmett. The rest of the guys are playing Golden Tee in the back.

Jasper leans around Alice to ask me how the past two days have been and if I've gotten the hang of things. "I'm getting there. It's a lot busier than I thought, and there's a lot to remember."

"I'm sure you'll do fine. Learning about the regular customers and the guys will probably be the hardest thing for you," Jasper tells me. The waitress comes over then with a few pitchers of beer and some cold glasses. Edward and I grab for one at the same time. We both do the polite thing and motion for the other to go ahead. Since this is the most civil we've been, I take the pitcher and pour myself some.

The night passes quickly, and I find that Emmett's one bad ass motherfucker. He has a wicked funny sense of humor, excellent taste in music, and has kept me belly-laughing the whole night. It could be the multiple pitchers we've worked our way through, but I think maybe it's a little of both. Edward's made his way to the bar and is joined by a blonde with a giant rack. The jeans she's wearing had to have been painted on, because there's no way she could've shimmied into those things by herself.

She trails her fingers over his hand and up his arm as they talk. The way she's flaunting herself all over him isn't sitting well with me. He's not mine ‒ he hasn't been for a really long time ‒ but something akin to jealousy burns me from the inside out. Edward must feel the daggers I'm throwing his and Tits McGee's way, because he turns and meets my stare before returning his attention to her.

I don't like being ignored, and that's what he's doing right now. How fucking _dare_ he ignore me. All reason has left the building, and I'm fucking pissed as well as drunk. I'm so tired of watching Edward Cullen turn his back on me and walk away. That shit's unacceptable and isn't happening for another second longer.

I stand on wobbly legs and steady myself on the chair next to me before I make my way to the bar. Edward watches me cautiously as I stumble over to him. She's still talking when I step between them and poke him in the chest. "You know what? I don't even fucking care." Hardly deterred, I champion myself to continue, because he needs to know. "Be mad. Be a shouty asshole. But you know what?" I lean in toward his pretty face and whisper. "You don't know shit about any of it." I wave my arms wide to emphasize how much he doesn't know.

With those as my parting words, I turn to go back to my table and my awesome new friend, Emmett. My mind must be working faster than my body parts, because my feet don't turn when the rest of me does. I feel myself falling but don't feel the impact before blacking out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Happy Memorial Day! Hope you have the day off and you're lounging by the pool or beach with a drink in your hand! Thank you Iris for making my gibberish readable, you're seriously the best beta in the world! Nic and MrsSpaceCowboy are the most amazing prereaders and I don't know what I'd do without your help, thank you both so much! Have you seen my banner? It's freaking awesome and a gigantic thank you to Ceci for making it for me!**

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Music's playing quietly around me. I try to listen to see if I can recognize the song, but thinking causes pain to slice through my head like a knife. I'm pretty sure I'm in a car, but I don't have the energy to open my eyes. Alice's voice floats around in the distance. "...really worried about her. Maybe breaking off the engagement is taking more of a toll on her than I thought."

"She's fine, honey. You're worrying over her too much," Jasper quietly admonishes.

"I can tell something's going on with her. She's trying to hide it, but I see. Always lost in thought when she thinks I'm not watching, and her eyes are so sad."

"She'll get through whatever it is. You just need to let her know you'll be there for her if she needs you, but don't push her."

"I don't push! I gently nudge in the right direction." That's the last I hear before I'm out again. The overhead light comes on, and I feel like someone's just shoved me face-first into the sun. "Jesus…. Fuck," I mumble while trying to shield my eyes with my hands. Jasper's helping me walk from the car, up the steps, and to the front door. Alice has it opened, and she takes me from him and walks me into my room.

Once we're there, I begin stripping, taking off everything except my bra and panties. Alice keeps a firm grip on my arm, trying to steady me so I don't fall. Once I'm within reach of my bed, she lets my arm go and gives me a small push. I fall into softness and snuggle the crisp-smelling sheets, where I'll hopefully sleep the whole night through.

When I wake, the sun's bright on my face, and I make a mental note to put up some damn curtains. I get out of bed and make my way to the bathroom. My lips are sticking to my teeth, because my mouth's so dry. Plus, the taste is horrid, and I really need to remedy that. After brushing my teeth and taking the longest pee of my life, I make my way to the kitchen for some coffee. Alice is asleep on my couch, and I feel like an even bigger asshole than before. My pregnant sister spent the night on my couch to make sure my drunken ass didn't choke on my own vomit in my sleep.

In the kitchen, I start the Keurig up, pop in a Starbucks Sumatra K-Cup, and begin to raid the kitchen for something edible. I haven't been to the grocery store for much, but I do have the necessities for cinnamon toast, something Alice and I grew up eating. Hopefully, the nostalgia of the toast will work as an apology for both my drunken behavior and her having to sleep on the couch.

The toast is almost done when she makes her way into the kitchen. "How are you feeling this morning?" she asks with amusement in her voice. I'm grateful she seems to be letting me off the hook, because I don't want to get into my altercation with Edward. It's too early to think up something that could excuse my drunken yelling and finger-poking.

"Probably better than I should. I'm really sorry about you sleeping on the couch. You didn't have to stay."

"I wouldn't leave you alone in that condition. You took a dive at the bar. It's a good thing Edward was there to catch you before you hit the ground." Maybe she didn't see the showdown between the two of us. This bodes well for me, and I sense an opportunity to gather some intel about Edward and that blonde bitch.

"Yeah, it's a good thing. I'd hate to have whatever is on that floor on my face. So, who was that girl Edward was talking with at the bar?" I take a sip of coffee, trying to hide my face and hoping like hell that didn't come off as too transparent. Alice looks at me, her eyes narrowing, but she doesn't call me out.

"Her name's Chelsea. They've been dating for a little while now. Nothing serious from what I can tell. He doesn't really talk to me about the women he dates, but he's never been serious with anyone. Chelsea's stuck around the longest."

The relief I feel at her words is slightly frightening. The tightening in my chest loosens a little, and I can almost breathe. We finish our toast, and I offer to drop her off at her house. "I called Jasper when I woke up, and he should be here any minute." Right then, her phone lights up with a text saying he's outside. Before she leaves, she pulls me into a hug. I'm really not comfortable showing affection with her like this, but I figure I owe her after last night. If this makes her feel better, then I can deal with it.

"I love you, Bella. I'm always here if you need me." Her eyes plead with me to understand the sentiment behind her words, and I do.

"I love you, too." I try to convey that I really appreciate her and everything she's doing for me, but I just can't go any deeper yet. She knows something's wrong, and at some point, I'll have to tell her, but I can barely cope most days. Sharing it with anyone else right now just isn't an option.

The rest of the day's spent with more unpacking. With last night still looming in the back of my mind, I decide to forego the reward of liquor. Also, I'm fresh out. It's a nice sun-shiny day outside, so I figure I'll go sit by the stream. I've yet to unpack my books, so I just grab some shades and a towel to lie out on beside the water. Flat on my back, I look at the clouds and try to make objects out of them. Edward and I use to do this all the time.

I can't remember ever seeing the clouds of a sunny day in Atlanta. My memories of my time there are a hazy gray. I enjoyed spending time with Garrett, and I almost made myself believe I could marry him. We met in a Starbucks as I was waiting in line. He was behind me, and we both laughed at the same time when the person in front of me had a hissy fit as she tried to spell her name to the barista. Garrett's an amazing man, and I know he'll find the right girl someday. He just isn't _my_ forever. When I left, he told me he hoped I'd find what I was looking for, and I told him I did, too.

Sunday comes, and with it comes trepidation for the work week ahead. I don't know how Edward will act, and I'm not sure what I should say or if I should say anything at all. I've never had to give an "I'm sorry I got drunk and berated you" apology. My mom calls to check in and see if I've gotten acclimated, yet. She also fills me in on all the things going on with her. Talking to my mother is pretty much an amalgamation of "mhmm," "hmm," and "oh, wow." When she gets done giving me a rundown of her life, she's ready to get off the phone, thank God.

I've almost finished unpacking and completely sober, so that's something, I guess. Sitting on the couch, I've almost nodded off when there's a knock at the door. Alice would've told me if she were dropping by, so I'm slightly confused as to who it might be. Pulling the curtain back, I try to peek at who's there without them seeing me. I can't see who's standing on my porch, but I know the Range Rover parked in front of it.

 _What the fuck is Garrett doing here?_

I open the door to my past, and there he stands. Garrett isn't lacking in the looks department, and in addition to his snark, I'm remembering what caught my eye to begin with. He's tall and has wide shoulders, dark brown hair, and electric blue eyes. His hands are behind his back, and he's looking down at me in an almost bashful gesture.

"Hi." He takes his hands from behind his back and puts them in his pockets, extending his arms and hunching his shoulders. He has a smile on his face, but this is the most uneasy I've ever seen Garrett look. He commands every room and any situation he finds himself in, but right now, he looks very pensive.

"Hey yourself. What are you doing here?" The smile's faded, and now he just looks hurt. I'm not trying to be mean, but what on earth could he want? The drive here is hours long, and I can't fathom what would make him travel it. I was clear when I left that I needed something more and that I couldn't settle for halfway in love.

"Alice messaged me on Facebook. She thought you might be missing me, and I jumped at the opportunity to see you. Can I come in?" I'm slightly shell-shocked but manage to move to the side to let him pass. My cabin's small, but it seems even smaller with him standing in the living room. It doesn't feel right to have these two parts of my life converge.

"Garrett, I'm really sorry you drove all this way, but nothing's changed." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I open them, I look him dead in the eye. I don't want there to be any misinterpretation of what I'm saying here.

"I hate that Alice thinks she has any right to speak on my behalf, but she doesn't, and I don't know why she'd say that. I don't talk to her about my love life. And since when are you two Facebook friends?" I'm so mad at my sister right now that I could spit nails.

"For a little while now… From back before you left." He looks absolutely crestfallen. How many times can I break this man? He's done nothing but love me and try so very hard to be everything I didn't know I needed, and no matter what he does, it'll never be enough.

"God, Garrett. I'm so sorry." I'm trying to hold back the tears, because it isn't fair for him to have to console me. I go to hide my face in my hands, but he's quicker and pulls me into his chest. Almost immediately, I'm a snot-sobbing mess. He gently shushes me and strokes my hair, and I give in and wrap my arms around his back. Why can't I just be happy with 'almost good enough'? It'd be so much easier than whatever it is I'm doing now.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn't have come, but I just had to take the chance that maybe Alice was right, that you miss me like I miss you." And that's why I can't do this the easy way. It's not fair to Garrett and whoever his happily ever after is. I know the world's a cruel bitch, but I have to believe there's someone out there who deserves him and all of his goodness. I can't keep him and his full devotion while only giving him part of my heart. He's worth so much more than that.

We remain standing, embracing one another, but not speaking for a while. He kisses the top of my head, and I know it's time to let go. He takes a step away from me and puts his hands back in his pockets. "So, how's it been being back home?"

"It's been... interesting." I fill him in on the quirky workers, strange customers, and also about doing manual labor. He finds it hilarious to imagine me stacking and loading wood. He's smiling, and I'll take him laughing at me over him heartbroken any day of the week.

"Do you miss... corporate America at all?" I'm going to pretend he's actually talking about my former job and not him, as his question leads me to believe. "I might miss my heels but definitely not my aching feet at the end of the day."

"I always rubbed them for you." That's true. I'd read with my feet in his lap, and he'd knead and massage the soreness out while watching The Travel Channel. "I still can't picture you stacking logs of wood. Didn't you mess up your white-tipped nails?" I hold my hand up to show him the acrylic-less fingers that are now rough and missing layers of actual nail.

"It was one of the first things I did when I got here." He's staring at my fingers in shock. "I can't believe you cut your nails off," he says incredulously. I've told him before, but he really doesn't want to see it. "That's because you don't really know me. You don't know the _real_ me, and that's because I don't know who she is, either. I'm trying really hard to figure her out, though." He looks like he wants to say more but doesn't. It's starting to get dark outside, and Garrett tells me he's going to find a hotel for the night.

"Nope." I shake my head back and forth. "You drove hours to get here, so you're staying with me. Besides, there isn't a hotel in town." He reluctantly agrees, and I get the couch made up for him with blankets and extra pillows. I tell him to wake me up before he leaves in the morning, because I want to be able to tell him goodbye. He agrees and gives me a hug, pulling back quickly and kissing my forehead. "G'night, Bella."

"G'night, Garrett." As I lie in bed looking at the moonlit night sky, I'm thinking about everything: Garrett showing up at my door, me going off on Edward in spectacular fashion, Edward losing it on me, Edward and his touchy-feely girlfriend, and Alice and her nosey, meddling ass. I'm so frustrated that I want to pull my hair out. Thinking about what tomorrow holds doesn't make me feel any better and actually makes me a little more nauseated. I know I'm going to have to have a talk with Alice about messaging Garrett, but I'm at a loss for what I'm supposed to do about Edward. I'm afraid he'll bite my head off again if I approach him to apologize, but I also don't want it to seem like I'm ignoring him. _Ugh._ I'll just wing it and see what feels right at the time.

I fall asleep trying to figure out what I'm going to say to Garrett in the morning. I hate seeing him sad when he deserves all the happiness in the world. The sooner he gets back to Atlanta and his life, the sooner he'll forget about me. My alarm goes off, and it takes me a minute to remember yesterday and my unexpected visitor. _I wonder if his alarm didn't go off… Do I not remember him telling me goodbye?_ Walking into the living room, I see that pillows sit on one end of the couch and that blankets are folded at the other. Garrett's nowhere to be found. In the kitchen, I find a note sitting in front the Keurig.

 _Bella,_

 _I'm sorry I didn't wake you before I left. I couldn't do another goodbye with you. I'm still hurting from the first one. I love you so fucking much, and all I want is to be with you. I know you have things to figure out, and I get that. I want you to know that once you do, I'll be waiting. Find whatever it is you're looking for, and come back to me when you do._

 _Garrett_

Perfect words from the most perfect-on-paper man that I just don't love enough.

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 **A/N: I'm new to this whole writing thing so I just wanted to say thank you for spending your time on my words. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you do! Hope you all have an amazing day!**


	4. Chapter 4

Iris is the best beta... ever!Thank you so much for all that you do! Nic, thank you again for everything, you're so much more to me than just a prereader! Thank you to MrsSpaceCowboy for prereading and to Ceci for my awesome banner! Also thank you to the ladies at TLS and Fic Dive on ADF!

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When I get to the lot next to the yard, it's empty… except for Edward's 4Runner. After the morning of gut-churning guilt I've just been through, I'm ready to face him. _Bring it on._ I crack my neck and pop my knuckles before exiting the car. Stepping out, I roll my shoulders and start toward the gate. Edward's loading one of the work trucks for the day, so I walk toward him and stop right at his side. I can see his whole body tense up.

"I just wanted to apologize for Friday night. I shouldn't have yelled at you or brought any of that up in front of other people. I'm sorry." There. I did the right thing. Now maybe we can actually talk. He's stopped all movement, but he isn't looking at me and doesn't seem like he's going to speak. The silence is deafening, so I continue talking.

"It's just that, well, I tried to talk to you that morning, but you were so angry and wouldn't let me get anything out." His head snaps in my direction, and I can see I've angered the beast again.

"What more is there to say?! You sure as shit didn't give a fuck what I had to say eight years ago. Why would it matter now?!" He's holding on to the side of the truck's bed, the muscles in his biceps bulging from the grip he has on it. I wouldn't be surprised if there are marks left once he lets go.

"Because maybe you don't know everything!" I hurl back at him with as much venom as I can muster. I let him yell at me once because I know where his anger's coming from, but I just want to tell him the truth, to get all this shit out.

"What else could there possibly be, Bella? You decided to kill our child. You ended a life that we made together! What else can you say about that?!" The veins in his neck are popping out, and his eyes are a stormy green-gray. He emphasizes his words by opening his arms wide, creating a very imposing figure before me. His words are like arrows, piercing my heart, and I feel it bleeding out of my chest.

I'm taken back to a day when I was seventeen and we were having a conversation similar to this one. Only then, we were talking about what options we had before us and the right thing to do. I found out I was pregnant before we started our senior year of high school. Everything I'd ever wanted for my life was suddenly gone. Getting out of this town and going to school… All of it was up in smoke.

"What don't I know? _We_ were pregnant. I was going to be a father, and you were going to be a mother, and we were going to do it together! Then _you_ decided you didn't want us and killed all of it!" His hands are grabbing fistfuls of his hair, and he's tugging it in frustration. My heart feels like it's in a vice, and I'm finding it difficult to breathe.

"That's not... what happened... I didn't− couldn't…" Formulating a complete sentence isn't really possible right now, but I hope he gets the gist of what I'm trying to say with the broken fragments I'm able to get out. I fall to my knees, my head in my hands and sobs wracking my body.

"Bella, what are you trying to say? You told me you couldn't be a mother, that it didn't matter what I said or wanted, because you were ending the pregnancy. You don't just go from being pregnant to not pregnant; it's not something you can undo." He isn't getting it. I'm going to have to try to pull it together enough to get this out. Living alone in this hell for the last eight years is long enough, and he's the only person I want to tell − if for nothing more than him to not see me as the monster he thinks I am.

I take a couple of deep breaths to try calm my body into submission. I look up at him as he towers over me. In this position, it makes me feel like I'm putting everything at his feet. This is it. This is the end of the line. Everything will be out in the open, and he'll have to decide what to do with it. Can we move on from here as friends, or will we continue as strangers with a shared history?

"I lost our baby. I decided to have an abortion, but I never made the appointment. A couple of days after we found out and I told you I couldn't be a mother, I miscarried." I take another deep breath and say a silent prayer to be able to get this out. "I was so distraught and couldn't believe that you didn't see things like I did. We were only seventeen, Edward. How could we be parents? I couldn't eat, and anytime I tried, whatever I ate came back up." God, I was so stupid back then. I should've seen the signs that something was wrong, but even though it was happening all day long, I just attributed it to morning sickness.

"I started cramping, and then I started bleeding a lot." As it was happening, I knew the baby was gone, and I'd never felt so conflicted in my life. It was what I'd wanted, to not be pregnant anymore, but after, I felt so empty. This small part of us was gone. This life that we'd created, made out of love that had lived inside of me, was now gone, and not only did I lose my baby, but I lost Edward, too.

"I didn't go to the hospital, because I didn't want to chance my parents finding out. You're the first person I've ever told." Saying all of this to him, finally getting it off my chest, is freeing. It hurts so, so much to take myself back to that time, but I need for him to know. If he can forgive me, maybe then I can start to forgive myself. If I hadn't been so cavalier about ending the pregnancy, maybe I wouldn't have lost the baby. I've thought about this so many times over the years, all the what-ifs and what-could-have-beens running on a loop. Each and every time guts me like the first.

His eyes are wide, his mouth slightly ajar, and his hands still firmly planted on his head. His fingers are wrapped around locks of wild brown hair as he stares down at me in bewilderment. I've just shaken his foundation. Everything he knew to be true has been turned on its ear.

"You… You had a miscarriage... and you didn't tell me? Jesus, Bella. How could you not tell me something like that? We were friends before we were ever anything more." During that time, I'd wanted nothing more than my friend Edward, but he was wrapped up being my boyfriend Edward, who wanted nothing to do with me. I didn't blame him, because if I could've gotten away from myself, I would have, too.

"You wouldn't even look at me, Edward. You treated me like I didn't exist. I felt like a ghost walking through school all of senior year. The worst part was that I couldn't even be angry with you about it." He thought I'd ended the pregnancy, and I'm sure each day that went by without my belly growing added fuel to the already large fire.

He turns back to the truck with his hands back on the side, his head hanging between his shoulders. We've been at this for quite a while, and I know everyone else will be descending upon us soon. Standing up, I dust my pants off and turn to look over my shoulder to see if anyone has come in. We're in luck, because it seems no one else is here, yet.

"I need some time to wrap my head around all of this." He doesn't look at me when he says this, but I figured as much. I've just dropped a bomb on him; he's going to need to think things through. I nod my head and turn away from him to go find a mirror to see if any of what just happened shows on my face. Before I can make it too far away, I feel a hand on the crook of my arm. I make eye contact over my shoulder, and see nothing but truth in his greens.

"I would've been there." He says this with so much conviction that there's no way I couldn't believe him. I already knew it, but I reasoned with myself that I deserved his ire and telling him wouldn't change anything. It was my fault − all of it. If only I'd just considered the possibility of keeping the baby and having a family with Edward... But all I could see at the time were the things I'd be missing out on, on being stuck in this town and ending up with a litter of kids, just like my sister.

"I know," I whisper. He lets go of my arm, and it's like he tattooed his handprint there because I can still feel it. His eyes are searching mine for something, but I'm not sure what. We're alerted to the presence of other people arriving, and just like that, the spell is broken and he goes back to arranging tools in the bed of the truck.

Alice has probably already come in and is most likely wondering where I am. Hopefully, I can make it to the bathroom to fix myself before I see her. I need a few minutes to gather the pieces and put myself back together. Sitting on the toilet with the lid down, I focus on the flooring beneath my feet. Counting the little wooden tiles calms my racing heart and quiets the roaring in my ears.

I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen with Edward, but I think that went better that I could've hoped for. The bittersweet relief I feel from finally having the truth out is almost worth the pain of reliving it, but it's left me exhausted and feeling like my emotions were put in a blender. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to fake anything for Alice today. I just don't have the energy for it.

There's a knock on the door that snaps me out of my stupor. I hear Alice's voice asking if I'm all right. Now there's a question I'm not sure how to answer. No matter what, I'll always be all right; I'm just not sure that's enough anymore.

Opening the door, I see my sister's concern etched all over her features. Her fingers are twisted together, and her bottom lip's wedged between her teeth. "I'm fine. I had a long night. I had an unexpected visitor show up on my doorstep." My eyes narrow and lips purse as I answer her question. I'm so drained from the emotional rollercoaster I've been on this morning, but my anger's aroused. Remembering Garrett showed up last night has smoke coming out of my ears.

"You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" Her eyes dart to the side, avoiding the glare I'm throwing her way.

"I just told him I was worried about you, that maybe you were having second thoughts about moving here." Her voice is firm, but I can hear the wariness behind it. We don't generally have conversations where true emotion's involved, so she isn't sure how I'm going to react to her intrusion into my personal affairs.

"It wasn't your place to say anything to him, Alice! Do you think I would just move here on a whim?" Maybe moving here wasn't well thought out, but she doesn't need to know that. "If I wanted to be with Garrett, I'd be in Atlanta. Telling him I missed him did nothing more than hurt him unnecessarily."

"Well, I didn't think he'd hop in the car and hightail it up here without calling first." Petulance colors her tone, because she knows she's wrong and doesn't want to admit it. All this does is anger me further, and I funnel all of the emotions from earlier into my response.

"It's none of your business how I'm feeling or not feeling − none of it. All my life, I've gotten along just fine by myself. There's no need for you to concern yourself now." She wasn't there when I was growing up and hasn't ever really been there since. After the divorce, I had to deal with mom and the procession line of men coming and going, not to mention having to watch our dad try to drink away the pain of mom's betrayal. That was all me. By myself.

By the time Edward and I became friends in ninth grade, I was so over both of my parents' crap. He knew all of it and was always there for me to vent my frustrations to. We became faithful partners in crime for the next two years. Not a day went by that I didn't talk to Edward, but Alice was nowhere to be found.

Her eyes dart to mine, and they're full of anger mixed with pain. She wasn't fully prepared for my wrath. In all honesty, I wasn't expecting to unleash it on her, but it feels so good to feel something other than sadness and guilt, so I roll with it.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean, Bella?" She fists her hands on her hips while pulling her shoulders back. "Exactly what I said. _Now_ you want to be all up in my business, but where were you while I was growing up? You just left and never looked back! I've been raising myself since I was twelve!" I feel like a dragon, breathing flames in the form of words as they come out of my mouth. I've not realized exactly how pissed I am at the fact Alice got to avoid all of our parents' crap and procreate with the love of her life until right this minute.

I'm not sure which I'm more upset over, but it's like a dam has broken and the anger is just pouring out of me. There's probably a much more constructive way to handle these feelings, but in the moment, I'm caught up in the relief of truth.

"Apparently you haven't finished the job, because you need to grow the hell up. You think we don't all have shit we've been through that's ugly? Every person alive has been through hard times. That's called life. It's how we deal with what we're dealt that makes us who we are, and right now, you're a whiny little bitch." At this, we both stand and stare the other down.

Jasper breaks up our spat as he enters the office. As he's closing the door, I can see a crowd gathering outside, nobody brave enough to enter. "What the hell's going on in here? The guys are taking bets on who'll make it out alive," he jokes, attempting to break the tension.

"Well, Jasper, your wife was informing me that I'm a bitch and that I need to grow up. So, if I'm a child, I might as well act like one, right?" I hold up both my middle fingers and walk out of the office. I don't stop until I've gotten into my car, and _really_ acting like a child, I tear out of the lot, throwing gravel in my wake.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to Iris, my beta. Nic and NinMrsSpaceCowboy, my prereaders and Ceci for the banner! Also, thanks to anyone reading this! Everytime I get a *ping* in my inbox my heart swells, you have no idea!

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I'm speeding through town, and I'm on a mission. When I left the yard, I didn't have a destination in mind; "away" was my goal. Home isn't an option, because there isn't any alcohol there, so O'Malley's it is.

Once I've gotten to the bar, I realize it's still morning, and unfortunately for me, they're not open for a few more hours. Grabbing my steering wheel, I white knuckle it and scream out my frustrations. I thrash my body from side to side, forward and back, all the while screaming my lungs out. If there are any people driving by, I'm sure they're getting quite the show.

I've no idea what's gotten into me. My usual modus operandi involves going with the flow and letting things roll off my back. Granted, it's also involved copious amounts of alcohol lately, but before leaving Garrett, nothing penetrated my carefully-crafted shell. I'm not sure if I just didn't care enough to let it bother me or I was just ignorant to the world at large. Either way, it has me wanting to crawl out of my skin.

After my snit in the car, I decide to just drive. It's always been something that calms me. I crank the radio as loud as I can before I hear distortion in the speakers and flip through the channels until I find something as ragey as I feel. Sirius XM has a station, the Lithium channel, that plays mostly alternative music, and it fits the bill. Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name"is on and almost over, which means it's at my favorite part. "Fuck you! I won't do what you tell me!" The chorus starts low and builds to where I'm belting it like a foul-mouthed Aretha.

After hours of driving aimlessly, the car seems like it's driving itself, and it takes me to the street where Edward use to live. I almost don't realize where I am until I see what used to be his window on the second story. I used to drive past his house, hoping he would be in his room so I could catch a glimpse of him. Just knowing he was there was enough. It made me feel connected to him in a way I otherwise couldn't during our senior year. Looking at the window now gives me the same longing it used to, like my heart remembers who we used to look for here.

It's been an emotional rollercoaster today, and now I'm just tired and want to sleep for the next few years. Maybe when I wake up, this'll all have been a really bad dream. I point my car in the direction of home, and the buildings of town fade into trees the closer I get to my cabin. Once inside, I take off my shoes and crawl into bed. I still haven't put up curtains, so the sun's shining bright. I flip over, putting my back to the window, and snuggle down into my pillow, falling asleep before I have a chance to relive the morning's events.

I'm awakened several hours later by banging on my front door. "Bella! Bella, I know you're in there! Your car's parked out front!" Alice's voice bellows. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I go to the door before she beats it down. "Can I help you?" I'm still acting like the child she accused me of being earlier, but I can't help it. She's woken me from a dead sleep.

"Move." She pushes me out of her way and forces herself into my living room. "Please, Alice, make yourself at home." I make a sweeping motion with my hand to accompany the sarcasm.

"I'm not sure what happened this morning, but I'm not leaving until you fill me in." Folding her arms over her chest, she sits down as gracefully as she can manage. She gives me an expectant look, making it clear she has no intention of leaving until I tell her what's going on with me. It could be that I'm still partially asleep or that I've reopened a wound I've had stitched closed for years, but for whatever the reason, everything comes pouring out of me.

Over the next few minutes, I tell her about Edward wanting to be a family and me not being able to deal. I also tell her about losing the baby and Edward, too. Getting to the part about the miscarriage is the absolute worst. Sitting next to my pregnant sister, who has five other children, and telling her how I lost my own baby, how my body rejected being a mother, and seeing how hers flourishes in her pregnancy, kills me a little.

When I'm finished, Alice is sitting stock still. Her mouth's open, and oddly enough, she's at a loss for words, something she never has a problem with. "I really don't think I have anywhere close to the right words to say." She takes my hand in both of hers. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that and even more so that you did it by yourself." Sincerity shines through her milk-chocolatey browns.

"If I'd known any of this, I would've told you that the job would entail seeing Edward on the daily. I would've done a lot of things, but I would've done that for sure." She finishes her statement with a nod of her head, showing me her conviction.

"Yeah. I figured I'd see him sometime, but I didn't think it would be so soon. I wasn't really prepared." Saying that I handled it badly would be putting it mildly. "Bella, I'm so sorry." She has tears in her eyes, and I really want to stop this from happening, because if she starts crying, then I will, too.

"Please, please... don't." I close my eyes and breathe through my nose for a second. Shaking my head, I tell her I've had enough for one day. My max for reliving the past has been reached. Now she knows, and perhaps we can just go back to pretending everything's okay.

"I have so much I want to ask, but I'll wait until you're ready." I nod and watch as she blinks tears away, quickly reaching up and wiping under her eyes. "I really want to have a relationship with you, Bella. I want us to be friends and for you to talk to me about things."

"I think I'd like that." We both smile, and hope blooms in my chest for the first time in a very long time.

Getting to the yard the next morning, I'm slightly embarrassed with myself for how I acted the day before. I purposefully waited to arrive until a little later in the morning, hoping the guys have already left for the day, but they're walking out of the office when I come through the gate. "Hey! What's shakin', hot stuff?" Emmett calls to me from across the yard. Of course, this garners everyone's attention to see who he's talking to, which is exactly what I didn't want. All the blood in my body now resides in my cheeks and ears. I don't make eye contact with anyone and fast pace it into the office with a quick wave in Emmett's direction.

Alice is talking with Edward as I open the door, and they both turn to look at me. Alice's face lights up, and Edward looks indifferent. Well, that's better than the icy glares I've been getting. I walk over to the computer and take a seat, waiting for them to finish their conversation.

I feel someone behind me, and thinking it's Alice, I turn around. Edward stands before me, and Alice isn't in the office at all anymore. "I was wondering if maybe we could talk later." He looks unsure, like he doesn't know if I want to talk with him.

"Sure. Where were you thinking?" I don't want to have any more conversations with him here. Privacy's definitely needed, and I hope he's thinking the same thing.

"I could come by your house once we're done for the day?" I feel the surprise take over my face, and I'm wondering if he knows where I live. I quirk an eyebrow at him in question.

"You know the minute you signed the lease on Old Man Cheney's cabin everyone in this town knew about it." He smiles softly, and it's the first one I've seen on his face in years. It still has the same effect it used to, and it unleashes a million little butterflies in my stomach.

I can't help but smile back, and tell him I'll see him tonight. Edward walks out the door as Alice is re-entering it. They pass, and she smirks at him, giving me the same one right after. I meet her smirk and raise her one of my own.

The day passes quicker than I'd like. Jasper comes in around three with a handful of checks, and Alice sends me to the bank in town to deposit them.

"Don't worry about coming back to the yard. You can just bring me the deposit bag in the morning. I hear you have plans for tonight." She wiggles her eyebrows, trying to bait me, but I don't bite.

"Okay. I'll see you in the morning then!" None of the guys have headed back in, yet. It's still too early. I decide to make the deposit and go to the grocery store in order to stock my kitchen, especially for dinner tonight.

I know that this is by no means a date, but I'm giddy at the prospect of actually having time alone with Edward to talk, with neither of us yelling at the other. Hopefully.

I get in line at the drive-thru at the bank, pulling in behind a busted Honda Civic. We're in the business transactions lane, which is closest to the tellers behind the glass. When it's my turn, the drawer opens, and I plop the bag Alice gave me down on the little sliding shelf and wait for it to be pulled back in. A friendly, high-pitched voice greets me and tells me she'll be right with me. I turn to look at her and realize it's Tits McGee from the bar.

She hasn't looked up by the time I turn my head and face forward, which I do in hopes of avoiding the awkward that would surely ensue should she recognize me. "Hey, it's Bella, right? You're Alice's sister?" Wincing, I look to my left, give her a tight-lipped smile, and nod.

"Yep, that's me. Alice's sister." I want to add my status of Edward's ex-girlfriend but think better of it. If Edward wants her to know anything about his past, that's his prerogative. "That was quite a spill you took the other night." Is she serious right now? I can't believe she's starting a pissing match with me in the drive-thru while her voice is echoing throughout all the lanes!

"What can I say? I know how to make a grand re-entrance." My fake-nice mask is firmly in place, and I'm literally biting the inside of my cheeks to keep from mouthing off to this rack with bottle blonde hair. She throws the bag into the drawer, and it reappears in front of me. Reaching out with my left hand, I grab the bag and meet her eyes before pulling it back inside the car.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella. I'm Chelsea, Edward's fiancée. I'm sure I'll see you around." _Fianc_ _é_ _e?_ Surely I misheard her. He can't really be engaged, right? Alice would've told me about an engagement. I'm positive of that. Keeping the mask in place, I smile and nod, then pull away as quickly as possible.

At the grocery store, I have to traverse the isles repeatedly, because I can't focus on what I need to buy. I'm playing the conversation with Chelsea over in my head. _Fianc_ _é_ _e._ She couldn't have been smugger with the way she peacocked that word. No doubt she knows Edward and I dated, but is she lying about being his soon-to-be wife? This town is so small, and even though I haven't been back long enough to converse with that many people, surely I would've known if that were true. At the very least, Alice would've known and told me the first day I'd asked about Edward.

Checking out, I realize my cart's full of items I don't recognize. Hopefully, some of the crap I'm buying can actually constitute as dinner. The pimple-faced teen cashier gives me my total, and I swipe my card. It takes me a few minutes to load the bags and then push the cart back to the buggy corral where they're stacked outside.

Once I'm home, I make a few trips to unload the car. Quick looks into some of the bags tell me I seriously have no idea what I bought. Fingers crossed that I got some noodles and sauce, I start unloading the bags and almost squeal when the jar of Prego comes into view. Not only did I get pasta sauce, but I managed parmesan cheese and tri-colored corkscrew noodles, too. _Sweet!_ I put a pot of water on to boil and wait for Edward to show. Once the water's ready, I add the noodles and set the timer. There's three minutes left when I hear a knock at the door.

I sprint from the kitchen to the front door. I'm stopped dead in my tracks once I catch sight of Edward standing on my porch. He clearly showered before coming over, because I get a nice whiff of soap and deodorant. Low slung jeans hang on his hips and a Silverchair band t-shirt hugs the frame of his upper body. He's not wearing a hat, so his crazy brown curls are a mess. His hair's only like that when it's too long and needs to be cut. Any other time, you'd never know it was curly. I smile, because I know that small bit of information about the man in front of me, who, if today's trip to the bank is any indication, I most likely don't know anything about anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you to Iris, my beta. Nic and NinMrsSpaceCowboy, my prereaders and Ceci for the banner. And thank you to everyone reading! You reading my words and leaving me you're own in reviews makes my day!

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"Hey." His face breaks into a wide smile. The boy's smile had me over the moon, and the man version of it is launching me into outer space. His dimples are on display, and it's not even fair. He took my breath away at seventeen. At 25? My heart's damn near stopped. The only thing that's changed is now he has crinkles next to his sparkling emeralds. He's done an awesome job at growing up.

"Hi." As I back away from the door, he comes into the cabin. Something I never thought would happen is occurring right now. Edward Cullen's in my home. The timer on the stove saves me from making things awkward.

"Have a seat. I'll be right back." I turn and head into the kitchen to stop the timer's beeping. Taking the pot off the stove, I drain the noodles and decide I should probably see if he wants any. I peek my head around the wall to ask.

"I made pasta. I have enough for two, if you want some. I always make too much." At the mention of food, his ears perk up. He accepts right away and follows me into the kitchen. I grab two bowls, spoon the noodles in, and pour sauce on top.

"I'm sorry. I don't cook, so this is about as good as it gets." I say as I hand him the parmesan cheese. He sprinkles a healthy amount on top and digs in. "Mmm… It's food, and I didn't have to make it. Tastes amazing to me," he says, I think. His words are garbled around the mouthful he's just eaten.

There's a 1950s housewife somewhere deep, deep inside me that's insanely pleased I've made something edible he appreciates. Doing outdoor physical labor must keep his metabolism fast, because he inhales the pasta and goes back for seconds before half of mine is gone. When we've finished, I put our bowls in the sink to wash after he's left.

Taking seats at opposite ends of the couch, we turn to face one another. "We could sit here and pretend there isn't a pink elephant in the room, but I think it'd be easier to just face it head on, yeah?" My eyes widen of their own accord, and I find myself agreeing before I know what I'm saying.

"All of the... stuff we talked about yesterday aside, how are you?" Direct. He's so very direct. "I'm good, I guess." I don't really know how to answer that, having been in a daze for as long as I can remember. It sort of feels what I imagine coming out of a coma would feel like. The world didn't stop turning while mine stood still.

"I heard bits and pieces of what you were up to over the years. You finally got the big city life you always wanted, huh?" He doesn't say it to hurt me. In fact, I see nothing but pride in his gaze. That doesn't stop the pain from searing through me, though. I did get the city, but I lost everything else that mattered in my life to do it.

"Atlanta was cool. It wasn't really everything I'd built it up to be in my head, but it was definitely an experience." When I'd imagined living in a city, he was always by my side. I'd thought of experiencing the nightlife, the tall buildings, and the culture with him holding my hand the entire time.

"Some things don't turn out the way you think they're going to." There seems to be a hint of sadness behind his words, and I understand immediately what he's talking about. He's absolutely right, as much as it hurts to admit.

"I want you to know that regardless of what I said to you that night, I wouldn't have gone through with it." As many times as I've thought about this and replayed the events in my head, I see so many things I could've done differently. No matter which path I went down, I know with every fiber of my being it would never have led to actually following through with the abortion. My fingers are playing with the frayed edges of a hole in my jeans. I'm trying to summon the courage to continue, because this conversation is long overdue.

"I was so scared, and I didn't know what to do. But you have to understand that I never thought you'd just walk away. In every scenario I'd imagined, we always figured things out together. I was giving you some time to cool off and then… then…" My voice breaks, and I'm a wreck, crying my eyes out. My hands move to cover my face when I feel his wrap around my wrists, gently pulling me toward his body.

Instinctually, my arms lay on his shoulders, and I tuck my face into the nook where his neck meets his shoulder. The wetness from my tears makes our skin slide against each other. My whole body's shuddering when he curls himself around me, holding on tight.

Instantly, I'm home. It's the first thought that goes through my mind. It's everything that's been missing for years and the only place I ever want to be. Safe and comforted in the arms of the only man I've ever truly loved, I can breathe.

I can't stop myself from touching my lips to the soft skin of his neck. My emotions are overwhelming me, begging me to show him just how much I've missed him. He lets the first kiss go by without responding, but when I move up the side of his neck to just below his ear, I can feel his whole body stiffen. It's like I have a wild animal cornered, so I proceed with caution. He hasn't told me to stop yet, so I decide to press my luck and plant my lips on his cheek.

They're still in kiss formation when his hands push firmly against my shoulders, effectively moving me away from him. He doesn't let go of my shoulders, but he grips them firmly while keeping his arms locked straight. I hear him exhale a loud breath before he makes eye contact with me. Shaking his head, I know that he's stopping this train before it's even left the station.

"I can't, Bella." He's such a good guy, and right now, I kind of hate him for it. I know he feels this between us. It's too strong for him not to. Almost like it's a third person in the room with us, its presence is so undeniable.

I nod my head and sigh in disappointment. "She's a lucky girl," I mutter out, trying not to sound as disingenuous as I feel. Right now, I need to know if it's as serious as she claims, but I don't want to ask. He's already shot me down, and I'm not sure my ego can take coming off desperate, too.

"I'm not sure I'd go that far, but she's a good girl. I don't want to hurt her." Even though it's not what I want to hear, he's just reinforced my sentiments about him being a good guy. He takes my hands in his and interlocks our fingers. I'm hoping it's his way of not letting go of our connection without formally cheating on his whatever-she-is. I can't take not knowing any longer; desperation be damned.

"So, I hear congratulations are in order." I stroke my thumbs along the sides of his, waiting for confirmation of my worst fear.

His beautiful face scrunches up as he tries to understand what I'm saying. "Congratulations? For what?" he questions with furrowed brows and a tilt of his head. "I heard that you and… Chelsea are engaged." Getting her actual name out is a feat, and I'm really proud of myself. Suddenly, I hear a strangled gasp leave his mouth, and he's coughing, trying not to choke. I scoot closer to him and start to pound on his back. "Oh, my God! Are you all right?" He nods and continues coughing in an effort to clear his throat. He croaks out, "What the hell are you talking about? Did Alice tell you that?"

"No. Alice sent me to the bank to make a deposit for her. Chelsea was my teller." I admit this sheepishly as if I've done something wrong. His hands are clasped between his legs, elbows on knees, and he's shaking his head. After a long pause, he exhales.

"We've never... I haven't asked or anything. She's mentioned things in passing, but it's nothing we've ever discussed." I'm halfway relieved, because there aren't impending nuptials, but I'm also concerned at the same time. Apparently, whatever they have is serious enough that homegirl's making plans and pushing them toward the altar.

"So, she what? Just informed you that we're engaged?" I guess I'm not the only one able to push Edward Cullen's buttons. He looks really agitated right now and has a right to, since his girlfriend's trying to lay claim to something he hasn't agreed to yet.

"She introduced herself using her name and status." His lips purse and eyes narrow as he contemplates what I've just said. "I've never told her anything about you. Why would she do that?" Men just don't understand how women operate.

"I'm sure she's asked around about you, and my name probably came up. The fact you didn't mention me and the epic show I put on at O'Malley's… Well, I'm sure she's deduced there's more to the story." Damn my drunken shenanigans. I may not like the girl, but I didn't mean to cause problems for him. "Edward, I really am sorry about that."

"It's okay. I might've deserved it." He lets out a quick breath through his nose and turns up one side of his mouth. "I'm just glad I was there to catch you when you fell. I'd hate to see that pretty face messed up." The fact he thinks I'm pretty flutters through my mind while I try to stifle the giggles that threaten to breakout. I can't stop the goofy grin spreading over my face or those damn butterflies from taking flight inside my belly. Apparently, it's contagious, because he's smiling like an idiot, just like me.

Suddenly, "One Ocean"by Chevelle starts playing from his pocket, and he's instantly digging for it. Pulling out his phone, he looks at it with annoyance before silencing it and laying it facedown on his leg. When he looks at me again, he's chagrined. It was _her._ I wonder if she knows where he is right now. My jubilee from a second ago is ruined, because I know it's time for him to go.

"It's getting kind of late. I should probably get going." Standing, he pockets his phone again and shuffles toward the door. I follow quietly and open it for him. He walks out onto the porch but turns around quickly, pulling me into a hug. Those arms feel so good wrapped around me, and I melt into his embrace. Right here is where I always want to be. I quickly inhale his scent before he pulls back and kisses my forehead. It's something he used to do, and it always made me feel special and cared for, just like it does now.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He's down the steps and walking to his SUV with purpose. I hope he's headed to his house, where Tits McGee isn't, and looking forward to work as much as I am. I hate seeing him leave, but I love watching him go. There isn't a part of this man that doesn't look good. I stand on the porch long after the glow from his taillights has faded, still feeling his lips on my head and his arms around me.

Getting into bed that night, I'm internally dancing with joy. Given everything that could've happened with Edward, and even though he isn't single, I'm grateful we're going to at least be friends. He wouldn't have gone through the trouble of coming over tonight to clear the air otherwise.

There are parts of him that are still the same, and I'm so happy I'm getting my friend back. It's going to be hard for me to not want more, because friend Edward and boyfriend Edward were always a package deal. I miss the hours spent talking about everything and nothing. We played Fuck/Marry/Kill with the most disgusting people and debated the possible outcomes of each option in Would You Rather. We were always able to engage in conversation, and it was a turn-on to be intellectually stimulated. It never took a backseat to the physical side of our relationship, though the physical side was pretty phenomenal, too.

That night, I dream about him. My sweat-soaked thighs are wrapped firmly around his waist as he moves inside me. His arms are beside my head, caging me in. The tendons and muscles strain in his neck with every thrust he makes. His pace is steady and deep, watching him work above me is getting me to the edge quickly. I rub my feet on the backs of his calves while making my hips meet his thrust for thrust. I'm almost there and know I'm about to fly right before I ignite. Knowing sweet release is only a rock of his body away, I begin to put more grind into the movement of my hips. He locks eyes with me, and that does it; I'm pulsating around him. He slows his pace to match my spasms. His eyes are a dark jade, and a predatory smile takes over his face before he starts pounding into me.

I awake with soaked panties and tangled in sweaty sheets.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you to Iris, Nic and Nin the best Beta and Prereaders ever! Doing this without you guys would be impossible! Also, twilightladies rec'd this fic and I am so grateful! If you aren't reading "I Do, Maybe" you should be! Ceci made my banner and I love it and her to pieces! And everyone reading this, you all make my life with your reviews! Thank you so much!

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It's amazing how dreams can affect your conscious being. You go to bed feeling one way about a person, dream about them during the night, and then _BAM!_ The next day you want to climb them like a tree. I've pretty much always wanted to climb Edward, but after having explicit dreams about him last night, the need is real.

When I get to the yard the next day, almost everyone's already convened in the office. I can hear Alice divvying up jobs when I enter. Jasper's standing next to her, and his face brightens as I walk over to them. "Morning, Bella." He greets me with a smile. "You're coming with me to do some estimates today. I want you to have an idea about all aspects of the business." Honestly, it's a relief, as I'll get to avoid Alice being nosy about last night. Also, Jasper's a pretty chill guy, and I do want to know what he does during the day.

"Sounds good to me," I respond, agreeing quickly. "I'll see you later, Alice," I say, heading out to Jasper's truck to wait while he gives her his own goodbye. They're so disgustingly sweet sometimes. When I get to the truck, I quickly realize I'm going to need help getting into the beast. It has huge tires, and the bottom of the door stops at my chest. I don't see any side steps, and I refuse to wiggle my ass in the air, attempting to crawl inside.

"Need some help?" Edward says as he reaches around me to open the door. I don't have time to respond in the affirmative before he's already got his hands on said ass, lifting me into the cab. I'm stunned for a second, wondering if that really just happened.

"You going with Jasper today?" He tilts his head to the side in question, like he didn't just touch my ass. "Yeah. He wants to prove to me that he actually works and doesn't leave it all to you guys." Joking seems the best way to avoid the weird tension I feel for wanting to hump him right now.

"He definitely works. He doesn't always do the physical side, but getting new customers and coming up with new ideas to keep the business progressing isn't easy." You can hear the respect and admiration shining through his voice.

"I'm glad to know he isn't exploiting you," I tease. Jasper's walking out of the office and toward us with a spring in his step. Ew. I really don't want to think about why he's so happy. Edward takes Jasper's arrival as his cue to exit. Watching him walk away's a beautiful sight. His t-shirt's taut over his back muscles, and his jeans hug his ass nicely. I'm a pro at Edward walking away from me, but this time, it doesn't hurt.

"Here." Jasper interrupts my dirty thoughts to hand me a napkin. "It's for that drool dripping off your chin." A Cheshire cat grin takes over his face. He's so pleased with himself for his little joke that I can't even be mad at him. I just shake my head, ball up the napkin, and toss it to mingle with the rest of the junk that's littered the floorboard.

"In my defense, not all of this is mine." He's quick to defend the state of his truck, because I'm sure he's already heard it from Alice. I hold my hand up in an allegiance pose. "No judgement," I say with a quick glance to the floor and a side-eye at him. He huffs out a breath and turns the radio on.

We pull out of the lot and gun it toward the interstate. The windows are rolled down, and the wind is whipping my hair around my face. I gather it into a bun on top of my head and hold on for dear life, hating that I'm going to have to meet potential clients looking like I've stuck my finger in a light socket. Jasper yells over the noise of the wind to tell me that we're headed to Candler. It's another small town, one past where my dad lives, and it's right next door to Asheville, which is the biggest city in the mountains and the only one anybody outside of here has ever heard of.

We exit the freeway, making a series of twists and turns on back roads. The mountains around here have roads dug into them all the way to the top. Everyone wants a secluded, scenic mountaintop view and is willing to pay top dollar to excavate their way above the next.

We arrive at what will be a million dollar home at the very top of the mountain. It's a new construction house that's close to being finished. A slightly older than middle-aged couple greets us in front of a four-car garage. They're dressed casually, but their polished looks screams, "We have more money than we know what to do with but desperately want to fit in with the locals."

Sandra and Davis Blatt are both anesthesiologists and the proud owners of this monstrosity of a house. They're looking for a landscaper for the grounds and are getting quotes from multiple businesses.

Jasper jumps right in, taking out a legal pad and pen to sketch out exactly what he sees enhancing the house. I can't see what he's drawing from where I'm standing, but I hear something about a decorative rock wall, a small pond, and some kind of tree lining the driveway.

Mrs. Blatt seems very receptive of Jasper's ideas and grabs her husband's forearm with one hand while covering her mouth with the other during part of Jasper's pitch. I'm pretty sure he's got this in the bag.

We leave with a check in hand to cover the deposit amount Jasper requested. Watching him, there's no doubt as to why he's so successful. He knows people and how to talk to them. He had that couple eating out of his hand, tripping over themselves to get their checkbook. It's a gift I wish I possessed, but I'm so far inside my own head, I don't know if I'm coming or going.

Getting back to the truck, I'm once again presented with the problem of how to gracefully get inside the thing. Jasper tells me to wait before hopping in the driver's seat and flipping a switch on the steering column.

A running board descends from under the body of the truck, and hooray! There'll be no ass-wiggling for me! "Did you expect me to make you climb?" He laughs at my surprised expression.

"No. I just didn't know it had these!" Sliding sunglasses on over his nose, he says, "I bet you crawling into it the first time was enough, huh?" He smirks and gives me an easy smile.

"I didn't have to climb the first time." I want to stick my tongue out at him, but his next question makes me pause. "How'd you get into it, then?" One eyebrow's cocked in suggestion, and I know he already knows. I decide I'm not going to answer since we both know what's up. Instead, I keep looking through the windshield at the bumpy dirt road.

"That's okay. Alice and I watched him 'help' you into the truck." He actually does the air quotes with his fingers. I purse my lips into a scowl and ignore him, which he finds hilarious. "So, should I tell Chase you're already spoken for?" My head turns his direction with lightning-fast speed.

"What do you mean? Did he say something?" Were Chase not a blood relative of Mike, I might find him attractive, but it's still somewhat of a stretch. "He asked if you had a man. He was also pissed at Emmett for bogarting your time at O'Malley's." Well, shit. If it's not Edward, I'm not interested.

"You can tell him whatever you like. As far he's concerned, I'm a nun." Chase seems like a nice guy, but I had one of those in Atlanta; I don't need one here, too. "Married to God. Got it." He gives me a thumbs up without his eyes ever leaving the road.

On the ride back, I'm lost in thought. I know Jasper's just messing with me, but I wonder if everyone can see how lost I am to Edward. What if he and Chelsea do get married someday? I'm not sure I can handle only being a footnote in the novel of Edward's life. There's more to us than history; I just need him to see it.

Once we're back to Waynesville, we meet with several job prospects and Jasper collects another fat deposit check. As we're climbing back into the beast for what's hopefully the last time today, he looks over with a regretful face. "So… I need to run by the bank and put these checks in the account." And I immediately understand the look. We're on our way to see Chelsea. _Super._

"That's fine." I'm pretty sure the smile I'm forcing is coming off more like a grimace, but Jasper doesn't need to know my feelings for the girl. It's bad enough he sees me drooling after Edward; there's no need to show off the desperation.

We're in the business transactions lane again, and when it's our turn, we pull forward and are greeted by Chelsea. Her fake blonde tresses are pulled up into a high ponytail, she's wearing huge hoop earrings, and she has bright red lipstick on. She looks entirely unprofessional, but I can't help admitting to myself that she's beautiful.

"Hey, Jasper." _Ugh_.I hate her voice and overall pleasant disposition. I make sure to lean forward so she can see me, and I plaster a fake smile on my face. "Hey, Chelsea. Long time no see," I say, waving. I stifle an internal groan at my stupidity, and I'm sure she's doing the same.

I'm pretty sure I can see the corner of her lip turn up into a snarl, but she schools her face quickly and mumbles a petulant, "Hello Bella." Jasper's tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as we wait for her to finish up. When she's done and returning the receipt, she tells Jasper to have a good day but not before adding, "We're really looking forward to the cookout at your place on Saturday." Jasper tells her that he'll see her then, and we make our way out of the bank parking lot.

"It's Scarlette's birthday party. All of the guys and their girlfriends will be there." It's really helpful that Jasper's so intuitive. I would've had to swallow some pride to ask what she meant. Thinking about it, I do remember Alice mentioning it. Scarlette is Jasper and Alice's youngest, as well as the cutest, in my opinion.

"So all the guys are coming to the party?" It seems kind of strange that a group of twenty-something guys would voluntarily spend a Saturday night at a three-year-old's birthday party. "Yeah. We cook hamburgers and hot dogs, drink beer, and just hang out. Once the sun goes down, we start a fire in the fire pit. The only thing out of the ordinary is that birthday cake's involved."

We turn into the yard, and I see Alice's Armada still parked in the lot. Jasper stops the truck, and I slide out of the cab, dragging my ass all the way down. I'm ridiculously grateful that's the last time I'll have to do it today. Peeking my head inside the door of the office, I catch Alice on the phone. I motion to tell her that I'm leaving, and I duck back out before she can stop me.

On my way home, I'm lost in the music playing in my car. Pulling into my space in front of the cabin, I realize I can't remember anything about the drive home. I've done nothing but think about Edward, Chelsea, and the fun that'll be the birthday party of my youngest niece in just a couple of days. Which reminds me, I need to get a present.

Saturday comes, and I wake to muted sunlight filtering through the curtains I finally remembered to buy while I was out shopping for Scarlette's present. The party isn't until later in the afternoon, so I spend the morning binge-watching _Friends_ episodes on Netflix. When it's time to go, I give myself a once over in the mirror and a small pep talk. I can totally do this. It's only for a few hours, after all.

When I get to Alice and Jasper's house, there are already several cars parked around the driveway. I spot Edward's 4Runner and get queasy almost instantly. Alice has balloons and streamers taking up every available space in sight. The two oldest girls, Emily and Leah, have their phones stuck to their faces. Earbuds firmly planted in their heads, they're sitting on the couch and ignoring everyone in sight. I'm almost plowed over by a gaggle of kids running through the house. I notice two of them are my other nieces, Taylor and Tori, who are young enough to still want to play with other kids.

I put my gift on the table with all of the others and head outside to find the adults. The porch is covered, and just beyond it is a fire pit ready to be lit. As I walk over to Alice, I see her talking with Emmett and a woman I've never seen before.

"Hey, Shawty!" Emmett greets me, and the blonde next to him shakes her head before extending her hand to me. "I'm Rosalie, this idiot's wife." She punctuates her introduction with a quick elbow jab to his ribs. I take her proffered hand and give her my name. We engage in general pleasantries, and I try to focus on what's being said while still keeping an eye out for Edward.

My attention is taken away by a little girl with Jasper's beach-blond wavy hair and a plastic sword, tearing past us. She has on a princess tiara and a red cape, waving the sword wildly in the air. Running past us, she screams, "Princesses don't go potty!" Jasper's in hot pursuit, and Alice joins him, trying to wrangle the child. Everyone watching the scene is trying not to laugh but failing miserably. When I look up, I suddenly lock eyes with Edward. A look of pure panic crosses his face, probably from remembering what happened the last time I saw him and Chelsea together. He's sitting in one of the lawn chairs surrounding the fire pit, and Chelsea's situated between his legs, looking pleased as punch.

I turn my back to them and continue talking with Emmett and Rosalie. Their two kids are running around with the pack of hellions. Apparently, they had a hard time getting pregnant, so they'd babysit whenever they could, which is why they're closer to my nieces than I am, I guess. Rosalie went to school with Alice, but they didn't really hang out. Emmett lived in Canton and went to our rival high school. They met at a football game and have been together ever since.

Why am I surrounded by people who have been together since they were teenagers? Anywhere else in the world, I would be the norm and not the anomaly. I excuse myself to grab a beer from the kitchen and almost change my mind when I see _her_ standing by the fridge, talking with another chick.

I open the door and let the cold air cool my overheated skin. Taking a deep breath, I grab the first bottle I see and remove myself from inside the refrigerator. Thanking God for twist caps, I take a few gulps when I hear her voice.

"He's so good with kids. Seeing all these little cuties running around, I just can't wait until we have our own." And she's won this round. Her words stop me in my tracks as I try not to vomit. I've never really thought about Edward being with someone else, even though I knew he'd move on one day. It was always an abstract thought, one I never spent any time thinking about. It just hurt too much.

Swallowing down bile, I turn back to the fridge to grab another beer, because the one I have is almost gone, and make my way back outside. The fire pit's empty, so I grab the closest lawn chair and heave myself and my two beers into it. I lean my head against the back of the chair and close my eyes. Breathing in through my nose and out my mouth helps quell the nausea. The scrape of a chair being pulled next to mine makes me open my eyes to see who's disrupted my quiet time.

"You do know you can't drink them both at the same time, right?" Squinting, I can just barely make out the looming figure before it takes a seat to my right. "It seemed easier than having to go back into the house," I reply. My mind isn't up for playful banter, so I just go with the truth.

He hums in agreement. "You seem awfully lonesome, drinking all by yourself," Chase says, so helpfully pointing out the obvious. The sad reality is that most of my drinking is done alone. "Not lonesome; just thoughtful." A half-hearted smile forms on my lips, and I toss it his way. I've finished my first beer, and as I'm bringing the second to my lips, I realize I'm really tired of this cycle. Whatever I need to find to make peace within myself isn't at the bottom of any bottle.

Alice calls to us, saying it's time to sing to the birthday girl. Scarlette's sitting behind a huge cake shaped like a submarine. Her little eyes are so big and bright as we all sing "Happy Birthday" to her. Jasper brings her a candle to blow out, so she doesn't get saliva all over the cake. She puffs out her cheeks and blows with every ounce of force she can manage. When the flame goes out, she claps happily and looks at the rest of us to do the same.

It's dark, the presents have been opened, and all the kids are running around on a sugar high. The adults are gathered around the blazing fire pit, talking quietly in little groups. The night air has cooled, and the fire is warming me from the outside in.

Chase has returned to my side and is trying to engage me in conversation. We've talked about how long he's worked for Jasper and that he wants to start his own business someday soon. He asks what I want to do, if working for Jasper and Alice is my long-term plan. And I don't know what to tell him. I gave up having long-term goals years ago when I learned that life doesn't really care about your plans. So, I just shrug my shoulders instead.

Occasionally, I look across the fire and find Edward staring at me. He's poking the fire with a stick, and every jab of his hand results in embers flickering into the air, which then die out. His eyes are searching mine, but for what, I don't know. I wonder what he sees when he looks at me. Does he see the love for him I'm consumed with? Does he see the regret I wear like a second skin?

Chelsea's sitting next to him in her own chair, and while it still stings to see her so close to him, at least she isn't in his damn lap. I can't help but compare my memories of us with that of the two of them together. In my mind's eye, he looks so carefree and happy. We were always laughing, and maybe it's wishful thinking, but I don't see him like that with her. He's more serious and tense now. Her cackle brings me out of my reverie, and I look over just in time to see her grab his head and push her lips onto his.

I'm pretty sure my heart just cracked wide open and that my stomach's trying to escape through my throat. The chair almost falls over from the force of me evacuating it, and I'm hauling ass into the house and out the front door to my car. I can't do this. In theory, being Edward's friend is a really noble idea. But I'm just not that selfless, and I won't watch him be intimately affectionate with someone else.

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Thoughts?


	8. Chapter 8

Hello! *waves*

Thank you Iris, Nic and Nin. I'd be lost without you lovely ladies! And thank you to everyone reading and reviewing, you guys make me fly!

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I'm driving too fast around the curves that lead to my house. My high beams are on and probably blinding anyone unlucky enough to cross my path. Usually, I'd be blasting music to help alleviate my pain, but it just doesn't feel right tonight. If I listen to anything, it'll forever be linked to how I'm feeling right now, and I don't want the future tainted with this gut-wrenching sorrow. "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"keeps playing from my phone every time Alice calls, which I choose to ignore.

I just can't get the image of Chelsea's face touching Edward's out of my head. My brain tortures me with that picture every time I close my eyes, and I can't even be angry about it. He's with her, not me. But my heart doesn't operate under that logic. It beats for Edward. It always has, and right now, it just feels like a useless brick in my chest.

I forgot to turn the porch light on before I left, so everything's pitch black. My car's headlights shine the way up the steps and into the comfort of my home. Unlocking the door, I drop the keys on the end table before curling into the fetal position on the couch. I send a quick text to Alice to let her know I'm home, not at a bar, and that I'll call her tomorrow. The tears come unbidden, and I don't try to stop them. They impede my vision, but it doesn't even matter. How stupid could I be to think I could be _just_ his friend? To watch him move on with someone else while I languish here alone?

There will never be anyone else for me. Garrett proved that point. The organ in my chest belongs solely to Edward and only works in his vicinity. It's taken me a long time to realize that, but after only days of being back here, everything's clicked into place; it's so clear to me now.

My life didn't feel right, because he wasn't a part of it. Not being with him overshadowed everything else. So, now here I am, crying my eyes out, because even though I've had this epiphany, it doesn't mean that Edward knows this same truth.

I'm not sure how long I sit and stare into space. My body's numb, I'm still stuffy, and my head's pounding from all of the crying when streaks of light suddenly shine through my front window, which alert me to the presence of a vehicle pulling up to my house.

The heavy thud of boots tromping up my steps startles me from my dazed state, and I make my way to the door. Three bangs of a fist ring out before I can flip on the outside light and open the door to see who's here. Standing on my porch with fists clenched at his side, Edward shocks the hell out of me.

I'm not sure if I actually get any words out before he's pushed me back inside and pinned me to the wall. Hands tangle in my hair, and he angles my head before dipping his tongue into my mouth. This man's mouth was always one of the best things about him, and now his lips and tongue are working together to bend me to his will. I'm so bent that I'm about to break.

He makes me irrational in every way. My hands gravitate underneath his shirt, wanting to feel his chest, his skin. Every part of me is flush with every part of him, and I can't help but grind myself onto him just a little. Our eyes meet, and I see the second he decides he's really down for this.

Rough and roaming hands take in my every curve from hips to breasts. I decide to help out his cause and remove my shirt before removing his. I want just a second to look at the definition of his chest, to admire the new muscles I've not yet gotten to experience, but he doesn't give me the chance. The splinters of the wooden wall are digging into my back, and he's all over me. My feet leave the ground, and my legs automatically wrap around his waist. He cups my ass and pulls his mouth from my neck long enough to grunt out, "Where's your room?"

Between gasps and pants, the directions come out garbled. He practically runs us into my bedroom and then drops us unceremoniously onto the bed. I can feel him beneath his jeans while he rocks our bodies against each other. I really don't want to pause this to disrobe, terrified he'll change his mind, but I know how much better it'll be without clothes.

Breaking away from him long enough to remove both my panties and jeans, I kneel between his parted legs. My lips kiss from collarbone to navel, my tongue darting out to dance its way down the planes of his body. Lusty eyes shine bright, and his mouth parts softly when he leans back on his elbows to enjoy the show. His jeans unbutton easily, and I make sure to keep eye contact as I reach in and pull him out.

His cock bobs between us, and I can't help but lean forward and suck the tip into my mouth just for a second. This earns me a hiss, and it inflates my ego the tiniest bit. Giving head has always been one of my favorite things to do. It gives me power to have someone receive only the pleasure I've allowed them. Seeing Edward panting for me is the ultimate trip. I want him fully naked as I do this, so I pull the remaining clothing from his body.

My tongue slides from base to tip before taking him as far as I can without choking. We keep our eyes locked, and when his hand comes to rest on top of my head, I let him guide me. And it's a huge turn on when he tangles his fingers into my hair, directing my movements solely for his pleasure. Edward losing control's a beautiful thing.

Ragged breaths leave his mouth as his hips leave the bed. He's slipping in and out of my lips when his head drops back, making his Adam's apple protrude. The view I have is so goddamn sexy that I feel it directly between my legs.

His hands come to my upper arms and begin to pull me off him. I'm momentarily stunned, thinking I've done something wrong. _Did I graze him with my teeth?_ My worried eyes meet his, but they find nothing except want for what comes next. Switching our positions, my back meets the mattress and his body covers mine.

When I feel his cock grazing my lower lips, I automatically look down, wanting to watch when he puts himself inside me. I hear a sultry chuckle before he says, "Whatcha looking at, Bella?" _Jesus fuck._ He knows and is playing with me, but that's okay. I can give as good as I get.

"I want to watch you fuck me." My chin juts upwards with my retort. I hear a whispered, "Fuck," and then he's leaning back on his knees. The view I had before has nothing on looking at him between my naked, open thighs. He wraps his hand around his cock, pumping a couple of times, and I was wrong again, because nothing beats _that_ view.

Rubbing the tip over my clit and down, he pauses at my entrance. Then he's sliding inside, and it's been so long since I've been with anyone that it takes my breath away. I can feel the restraint he's putting into not fucking me right away, into waiting for me to let him know I'm okay. Right now, I'm the best I've ever been. He's at my house, in my bed, and inside my body. It just doesn't get better than this.

My head digs into my pillow while my body adjusts to the welcome intrusion. I feel full and whole, stretched around him as I give a nod to let him know I'm good. Shallow, teasing thrusts turn deep and hard. Every time he slams inside, it's forceful and with purpose. He's wanting to make sure I feel this tomorrow. I feel him bite my nipple and flick it with his tongue, and then I'm falling apart around him.

"I can feel you," he says, his hips moving faster. "Oh, God. I feel you everywhere." His face is pressed tightly into my neck when his rhythm gets choppy. One last push inside, and he's coming. Every muscle is taut and flexed, like a current of electricity's flowing through his body.

He collapses on top of me, and even though breathing is slightly tricky, I don't want him to move. I like the weight of him spread over all of me. Too soon, he rolls over and lies on his back with an arm thrown over his eyes. I'm really hoping he's just thinking about the crazy good sex we just had, but I'm pretty sure there's more to it than that.

He's really quiet, and I can't take it anymore. I turn and face him, clutching a pillow between us. "Talk to me. What're you thinking?" A sigh comes from him as he drags the palms of his hands down his face.

"Lots of things." That's all he gives me. No words are spoken, and the silence gets to be too loud. "Edward, don't do this. Don't shut me out." I'm actually getting kind of angry, because he's ruining my orgasm haze. There's no way he can't feel my eyes begging him to look at me.

"Please, just… stop. Don't think for right now. Can we just… be? Just for tonight? We can deal with all the other shit tomorrow. I'm not ready for this to be over yet," I plead. He lifts his arm to look at me and hesitates before lifting it again in invitation for me to share his bubble.

I'm across the bed and burrowed into him before he can blink. He laughs softly before bringing his arm back down and resting his hand on the cheek of my ass. I can hear his heart beat steady under my ear while I run my fingers up and down his chest. Being like this with him is everything.

I must be exhausted, because once sated and wrapped around Edward, I'm out like a light. The next time my eyes open, it's still dark out. Edward's behind me, big spoon to my little, and his cock is nudging me in the ass. He's still asleep, but there are definitely parts of him that are awake and asking to be acknowledged.

Giving him a gentle push, I get him rolled flat onto his back before taking him into my mouth. He moans a little as I move over his length, but I don't think he's awake yet. I let my tongue trace the veins protruding from under the surface of the skin and love the feel of him getting harder in my mouth. I don't want him to wake until he's fully inside me, so I sit up and swing my leg over his waist to straddle his body. Placing my hands on his chest, I lower myself onto his lap, sitting on his cock until my ass rests on the tops of his thighs.

"What…? Bella− Oh, fuck!" he sputters as I begin to move above him in earnest. This time, he seems to take more in. He watches me move above him, slides his hands up my sides to my breasts, and tugs my nipples the way I like. Him watching me turns me on and pushes me to chase my orgasm faster. The pull of my nipples, my clit rubbing against him, and his cock touching places inside me that have been long neglected have me coming faster than I thought possible.

I'm still riding out my high when he slides up the bed and leans against the headboard. Bringing my arms to rest on his shoulders, I catch his eyes… and time stands still. I just want him to be here in this moment _with_ me. So, I bring my lips to his and lightly kiss him on the mouth, and then I kiss his nose, eyelids, and cheeks. When I try to lean back, his mouth comes for mine once again. Soft and slow, our tongues slide against each other, and my hips start to look for friction. His fingers tighten around my waist, halting my movement, but he's still hard inside, and I want to make him feel as good as I just did.

Leaning away from the headboard, he splays his legs open for me to sit between them and pulls my upper body tightly against his own. His chest hair is brushing against my nipples, our stomachs are touching, and I wonder if he can actually feel the butterflies in mine. Rough palms slide down to my ass, and he gets two good handfuls before using them to slide me up and down his cock.

His muscular arms lift my body over his own. I know he's getting close but won't come until I do. A light sheen of sweat covers our bodies, and with one last graze of my clit, I'm coming. I'm so wet that I can hear it every time he moves, which he seems to like.

"Listen to how wet you are, dirty girl. You like my cock that much?" My hands fall behind me and search for the bed while I try to keep my balance and not fall over. He's fucking me relentlessly, seeking his own release, and I'm just along for the ride. One last thrust, and he's exploding deep inside me.

His grip on my ass doesn't loosen until he's finished coming and his body has fallen back against the headboard. I don't move to get off him right away. Instead, I watch his chest rise and fall with his breaths. My own heart is thrumming in my ears, and I want to lay myself on top of him and never leave this spot.

The sockets of my hips are protesting at being held open for so long, so I move off of him. His eyes open back up, and he watches me make my way to the bathroom to get cleaned up. When I get back, he's scooted down the bed, and I'm not sure if he's asleep or not.

Answering my unspoken question, he holds the covers up for me to get in next to him. I can't help the smile that stretches across my face when I climb in and snuggle into his chest. Wrapping an arm around me, he pulls me closer to him and nuzzles the top of my head before placing a small but heart-swelling kiss on top.

The last thought I have before drifting off is wishing this was how I'd spent every night for the last eight years and hoping it's how I'll get to spend the rest of them.

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Alright! Let me know what you're thinking! Also:

Note from the Beta: Bar fight? What bar fight?


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you so much to Iris for working her patootie over time to get this baby out! Nic and Nin, I love you guys for all that you do! Also, PlanetBlue, I want to thank profusely for always showing me the way! And thank every single one of you guys who read this and talk to me afterward, in reviews! It's my motivation to typing!

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EPOV

 _This bed's really soft, and it smells weird, too._ My brain's sorta muddled and still asleep. I don't hear an alarm, so I don't even know why I'm awake. But right as I have that thought, there's a soft thump that sounds through the wall. It's followed by another and then lots of them in rapid succession.

I hear a groan from beside me, which makes my head fly off the pillow. I turn toward the body next to me, because I just realized I'm not in my bed or Chels' for that matter. I can't see her face, but I know Bella's buried under the rat's nest of brown hair next to me.

My eyes slide shut when memories of last night hit me like a Mack Truck. _Fuck._ I didn't dream it; it actually happened. I fucked Bella. We fucked… more than once. I let my head drop back to the pillow, and I hear the thumping again. This time, it's followed by a very female scream.

"What the fuck is that?" I say to myself, wondering how Bella's sleeping through the noise. Grabbing my jeans from the floor, I'm hit with another memory of what happened immediately after Bella took them off last night. _And now I've got wood._ I pull my jeans on, working my junk into them, and then I hear the screaming and thumping again.

It's just a matter of time before whatever the fuck _that_ is wakes Bella, so I run outside as fast as I can. There, in the gravel drive behind my 4Runner, is Chelsea's car. The door's wide open with the engine still running, and she's hurling rocks at the side of the cabin. There are windows where she's taking aim, and it's just a matter of time before she takes one out.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Edward?!" she screeches like a banshee. "You're a motherfucking liar! You promised me ─ _promised_ _me_ ─ I had nothing to worry about. And where do I find you at seven o-fucking-clock on a Sunday morning, with no shirt or fucking shoes on?!" With every curse word, she stomps one foot, and her voice gets higher and more shrill as the evidence of what I did last night is put in her face. She's losing her shit right now, and I'm a little terrified.

I'm also a lot ashamed. She's absolutely right about everything. I did promise her nothing would change when Bella moved back, that I wouldn't be affected by it, and I straight-up lied to her face. I fucking hated the thought of having to share this town with Bella, but I also didn't know the whole story.

For years, I thought she willingly got rid of my baby ─ _our_ baby ─ and didn't give me a choice in the matter. To have your hands tied like that? Yeah, I hated her. Except I didn't. I hated what I thought she'd done, and after finding out she─ what had happened, it made me look at everything differently. I still haven't figured out what any of it means, but I do know that I've fucked up.

"Chels…" My voice sounds like I'm begging, which I guess I kinda am. I have no idea what to say right now. I'm not at all surprised she showed up here, but I have to keep Bella from waking up and coming outside, because I know it'll get ugly if she does.

"We talked about marriage, Edward. _Marriage!"_ she shrieks. I want to correct her, because technically, _she_ talked about it; I just didn't disagree. But now isn't the time. Her eyes are swimming in tears, and I feel like I've been gut-checked, because I did that... I made her cry. Years ago, I was in her position, and I know what it feels like to have your heart shattered at the hands of someone else. I never meant for this to happen.

Last night, man… Sitting around that fire and watching Bella with Chase? I already hated that motherfucker, but him trying to swoop in and snatch her up made me absolutely volatile. Both Newton brothers can suck my dick. In high school, Mike drooled all over her. I was just lucky she saw him for the tool he is. I don't think I'll be as lucky with the little brother.

I sat and leered at them like a creeper, and only marginally listened to Chelsea go on and on about some shit. She's been really clingy the past few days, and I get it. Bella's back, and there's all kinds of talk around town. Plus, all eyes are on me and my every move where Bella's concerned. Chelsea kept her hands on me all night, even sitting between my legs around the fire pit. At first, I didn't know what was up, but it hit me when Bella walked outside. _She's marking her territory._

The energy between Bella and I has been tense, to say the least, but I don't want to shove my relationship with Chelsea down her throat. I'm pretty sure something would've happened the other night with Bella at her house if I hadn't stopped it. Her body against mine, her lips pressed onto my neck and face… Stopping wasn't something I wanted to do, but I remembered Chelsea. I owed it to her to be respectful and faithful. I've never cheated.

Amazing that a handful of days later, I've blown that idea to smithereens. Bella's always affected me on a deeper scale. It's on a basic DNA level or some shit. But seeing Chase trying to run game on her made me realize that she'll move on some day. She already almost did with that fucker in Atlanta, but one day, it'll take. And watching it happen is just not an option, because... because she's mine.

About the time those revelations were trying to tear their way out of my chest, Chelsea decided to lay one on me. She just reached over and planted her lips on me. My body tensed, everything in me noticing how wrong her actions felt. I wanted it to be someone else ─ someone with darker hair and eyes, softer lips. Chelsea felt it, too. She pulled back quickly and leveled me with a glare.

Dust was settling across from us as the chair that previously held Bella was now empty. I realized Chase wasn't there anymore, either, and a cold chill went down my spine. Taking Chelsea's hand in mine, we said our goodbyes and left the party a short time later.

As we headed back through town, I shut down every effort Chelsea put into trying to pick my brain. She knew something was up, but I couldn't think about anything more than Bella's whereabouts and who might've been accompanying her. _If that douchebag's at her house…_

Once I pulled up to Chelsea's house, I left the SUV idling. I had no intention of getting out, already on the road to Bella in my head. She was pleading with her eyes for me to go inside, and as I watched her house get smaller in my rearview mirror, I felt a little guilty.

My lungs exhaled a sigh of relief when I pulled up to Bella's house and found only her car. But that was quickly replaced with anxiety when I thought that maybe she and Chase had left together. My body moved on autopilot, throwing the 4Runner into park, turning it off, and racing up the steps to her front door. I didn't know what was happening inside the cabin, but I was pretty sure my presence would stop it.

When she came to the door, my eyes did a sweep of the room behind her and found no signs of Chase. And all the conflicting emotions just poured out of me. I pinned her to the wall, and before I knew what was happening, we were in her room. Then we were naked, and I was inside her, needing to eviscerate the memory of every other guy.

I haven't come that hard in a long time, and after the excitement of the moment was over, reality came crashing down around me. I'd just made a really huge life decision by thinking with my dick. Before I could really delve into what that meant, Bella was begging me to put it out of my mind. She wanted the night, so I gave it to her.

Chelsea's hair whipping in the wind gets my attention when she bends to grab more rocks to chuck at the windows. Before she can get the shots fired, I get my arms wrapped around her body and trap her hands by her side.

"Let me go, you fucking prick!" It comes out sounding demonic as she thrashes against me, trying to get loose. I'm physically dragging her back to her car when the front door opens and a confused-looking Bella emerges wearing my shirt. _Oh, fuck. Shit's about to get real._ My grip on Chelsea tightens exponentially, because upon seeing Bella, the fight this girl's putting up just increased ten-fold. When I get us shuffled back to the door of her car, I'm able to force her inside.

"Chels, listen to me. Go to your house. I'll be right behind you, and we'll talk there. You don't wanna do this." I pin her with my eyes in the hope she'll see reason, because there's nothing that can be accomplished right now.

Looking away from me and in Bella's direction, she levels her with a glare. To Bella's credit, she doesn't back down. Her hands are poised on the railing of the porch, arms straight and tensed, waiting to see if they're about to throw down. She raises her chin and glares right back, silently telling her to bring it.

Chelsea looks at Bella again and then at me before all the fight leaves her body. She slumps into the seat, and sobs begin to leave her mouth while her hands white-knuckle the wheel. If it were possible to feel worse than I do, this is what would do it. Before putting the car in reverse, she looks over at me with a face full of anguish.

"Why couldn't I be enough?" She doesn't wait for me to respond, not that I could anyway. She came in roaring like a lion but leaves like a lamb. Slowly, quietly, and without any fanfare, she drives away, leaving me alone with Bella and my guilt.

I make my way back to the steps of the cabin, pausing at the bottom because I'm not sure what to say or do in this moment. Before I can get to the top, Bella turns and goes back inside, and I follow behind her. When I walk into her room, I find her face down in her bed. The bottom of my shirt is flipped up, and I get a nice view of her bare ass.

There's an air in the room that demands no words be spoken, so I listen to it. I fasten the button of my jeans and zip the zipper. The hurt on Chelsea's face slams into me as I realize we were out there the entire time and my pants were open. Not that she didn't know what had happened here already, but it just added insult to injury.

The bed bounces slightly under my ass when I sit to put my boots on, and once I've finished lacing them, I begin to look for my shirt, realizing it's got Bella inside of it. "Bella… I need, uh, my…" She doesn't let me finish my sentence.

"I don't think so. It's mine now." It's muffled from the pillow, but I can make out what she said. She's so fucking cute, and I'd be lying if I said that her wanting to keep something of mine doesn't make me want to fist pump. But I've got to get dressed and out the door, or I'm not going to leave.

"Bella," I repeat, whining. This time, she turns to look at me through the swirl of hair on her face. "Fine. But I want you to know you're literally taking the clothes off my back." Kneeling in front of me, and in what feels like slow motion, she peels the shirt from her torso and throws it in my face. My eyes are greedy, because even being blinded for a moment is one too long. I want to see her body. Last night was hurried and dark. I didn't get time to just… look.

My memories of her tits did not do them justice. _Fuck me. I want them in my mouth_. Right as I'm reaching to touch, she crosses her arms over her chest and reminds me I've got someone waiting on me. And just like that, the guilt invades my stomach and the semi I'm sporting deflates.

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Did you like EPOV? Any other thoughts? Hit me up!


	10. Chapter 10

Early Update! YAY! Iris is the BEST beta there ever was! Seriously, she's amazing. Nic and Nin, thank you ladies so much, I adore you both. And every single person reading this, thank you!

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BPOV

He just left, and I hate that the needy girl inside of me is screaming, "What about me? What happens now?" When I woke this morning, I hoped to find Edward still asleep beside me, but I was greeted with country cuckoo in my yard instead. I stepped onto the porch and saw him engaged in a reverse bear hug with _her_ , and it only took me a second to understand what was happening.

I still can't believe she came to my house. She's all kinds of batshit crazy, and I seriously thought for a second she was going to try and beat my ass. I haven't been in a fight since the fifth grade, when Katie Mathis snapped by bra and I pushed her to the ground. Part of me was hoping he'd let her go, because I'll never back down from someone coming at me, but the city girl inside me was hoping it wouldn't come to that.

About the time I was trying to remember MMA moves from watching UFC, she looked away from me and said something to Edward. That's also when I began to feel for her, which really sucks because I'd like to just keep hating her. The pain etched on her face when she turned back to him made me wince. It's obvious that she's all in. Well, I am too, so I guess it's just tough shit.

I was waiting for her to explode again before she left, but I didn't get any of that; she just drove away. Everything felt really heavy all of a sudden, so I went back into my room – back to where things had been perfect the night before. The sheets still smelled of him, and I breathed him in deeply, reveling in them.

I'd really wanted to keep his shirt, which is kind of why I was wearing it, but he didn't have another, so I figured if I had to give it back, I'd show him the goods and, in the process, make his leaving incredibly difficult. When he saw my chest, the look that crossed his face was adorable. His eyes glazed as his hands reached for me, and it took everything in me to not let things progress further.

After reminding him of his obligations, he got dressed and we exchanged numbers. An awkward goodbye ensued, neither sure what the appropriate amount of affection was for the situation. We finally gave in to our wants and held on for a few minutes. He was the first to break away, dropping a kiss on top of my head. Leaning back to look at him, he kissed my forehead and my lips. Then he was gone.

He didn't say if he'd call or text, but I just hope I'll hear from him before the day's over. The ball's in his court, because while I don't know where he's at, I _do_ know who he's with. Knowing I'll go nuts if I sit here, I grab my tennis shoes and decide to head to Lake Junaluska. Maybe the pounding of my feet on the pavement will help sort the insanity inside my head.

It's crazy busy, with it being a Sunday and the summertime. Church groups hold conventions here from all over the country, and the participants are out in all their Jesus-loving glory. Families line the sidewalks five-wide with strollers, matching WWJD t-shirts, and their home church's name stamped on the back.

What was supposed to be a calming activity has quickly turned into me huffing my way around these oblivious people, trying to keep my pace and heart rate accelerated. They're out for a leisurely stroll with the family, taking in the ducks and scenery of the lake, while a line of people actually wanting to break a sweat forms behind them.

After finishing the short route, I head back to my car, and although my body's physically worn out, it doesn't stop my mind from wondering what's happening with Edward. _Is he breaking up with her?_ I've had my phone with me the entire time, but I can't stop myself from checking it for any missed calls or texts. And of course, there are none.

I call Alice on my way home and apologize for my abrupt departure last night. Apparently, Chase left right after me, and she thought maybe we'd left together. I quickly reassure her there's nothing going on there. He's a nice guy, but no. She tells me she, Jasper, and the kids are going to Sliding Rock the following weekend and asks if I'd like to go.

I don't want to commit to anything this early in the week, so I say I'll let her know. She has to get off the phone when an argument breaks out between two of the kids. I say my silent thanks for unruly children and finish the drive home in silence.

For the rest of the night, my phone becomes an extra limb. I hear and feel phantom rings and vibrations that cause me to check the damn thing incessantly. I finally give up and decide to text him around nine. _Everything okay?_ I'm disappointed and hurt when sleep finally consumes me in the early morning hours, with no response from Edward.

I'm up and moving well before my alarm clock sounds the next morning. There are still no messages from him, and I'm starting to get angry. Even if he spent the entire day talking or fighting with _her,_ he could've taken a bathroom break at some point to let me know he's still alive. I almost broke down and called him around two this morning, but I figured if he was still with her, it might not be good for him. Then I got pissed thinking about the possibility of him actually being with her at that hour.

I'm the first one to arrive at the yard, and given it's a Monday morning with over an hour before I need to be here, it's not that shocking. I'm hoping Edward will show up early, too, but those hopes are diminishing with every revolution of the second hand on the clock.

When Emmett breezes past me toward the coffee pot, I know there'll be no talking to Edward this morning. I've noticed Emmett doesn't roll in until it's dead-on 9:00 and needs coffee before he's back to his gregarious self, which means Edward's probably going to roll up late. My phone chirps to let me know of a text message, and I almost fall out of the chair I'm sitting in trying to get it. Granted, the phone _was_ lying right beside me, but in my excitement of thinking it could be Edward, my hands reached too fast and ended up flipping it into the air, catching it right before it hit the ground.

All of that only for it to be Alice, letting me know she's running late and wants me to give the guys their job dispatches. It's still too new to me, and I'm not really all that familiar with who works best together. I could kick myself for not listening better when Alice was talking about it. _Damn it!_ The jobs are listed on the board, so I just need to throw out some names and hope for the best that they'll work well together.

I could probably ask Emmett, but he's still slurping down coffee and not looking like he's ready for conversation quite yet. Nothing like jumping in the deep end, I stand and say, "Okay. Alice is going to be late, so she's asked me to assign men to jobs. Since this is my first time, take it easy on me, please."

Edward walks in right after and looks in any direction other than my own. I _knew it! I knew he was avoiding me!_ He joins the group of guys hanging out toward the back. I'm pretty sure he's trying to put bodies between the two of us. _Dick._

Refocusing myself on the task at hand, I ignore Edward and finish pairing workers with jobs. "Emmett, Jake, and Crowley, you guys take the Sutton's vacation rentals in Maggie Valley and Barber's Orchard. Edward and Seth, you guys take the Gaylord, Boyd and Messer places." I'm pretty sure I sound like I know what I'm talking about. When I'm done, the guys exit the office, and it's doesn't escape my attention that Edward's one of the first outside.

It's not like we could have a conversation right now anyway, so I let him go. _For now._ Once I'm alone again in the office, my mind resumes overthinking things about Edward. _He wouldn't stay with her, would he? And she wouldn't take back someone who'd cheat that easily, right?_ By the time Alice arrives, I'm actually excited to have someone to distract me from my thoughts.

"Did it go okay this morning?" she asks, sitting gingerly into the computer chair. "I think I did all right. I put Emmett with Jake and Crowley, and Edward with Seth." Nodding her head in agreement, she reassures me my pairings will work fine.

"So, you given anymore thought to going with us this weekend?" I really hadn't thought anything about it since she mentioned it yesterday. "I don't know. You know I'm not really an outdoor kind of girl." Even as a child, I wasn't one to take advantage of the activities living in the mountains affords you.

"You're a mountain girl now. You have to start broadening your horizons! Get dirty and play with the boys!" At this, my nose scrunches automatically. It's always been my knee-jerk reaction to the term "mountain girl."

"Alice, that rock is, like, 100 feet tall, and the plunge pool at the bottom's close to freezing." I remember people talking about it when we were younger. We might've even been there once, but I _know_ I've never gone down it.

"It's the ride down that's the best part! And it's only cold at first. You get used to it pretty quickly." Yeah, so fast you almost don't feel the pain when water hits your skin and the air's sucked from your lungs when you plunge below the surface. Sounds like a good time to me.

I never give a definitive answer as to whether or not I'll go, but gratefully, she drops it. The rest of the day passes quickly, and before the rest of the guys get back, Jasper comes in, Chase following closely behind.

Jasper stops directly in front of Alice before bending his knees and wrapping his arms around what he can of her waist. He leans in and kisses the tip of her nose as she looks up at him adoringly. Sometimes they make me sick with the level of sweetness they still show to one another.

Chase is standing awkwardly off to the side, looking like he has something he wants to say but doesn't know how. I'm sure he'd like to inquire about my hasty exit the other night, but thankfully, he minds his manners and doesn't ask.

"What's up, Chase?" His hands enter the pocket of his jeans as he makes his way over to me.

"Well, I was wondering if you have any plans for the weekend?" _Here we go._ I want to turn him down as nicely as possible, without encouraging him, but I'm really not good at this kind of thing. I'm sure I look like a fish when my mouth opens and closes several times while I try to come up with something to say.

"Chase, I−" That's all I get out when the office door opens, the guys coming inside to cool off and shooting the shit before leaving for the day. Edward's one of the last inside, and our eyes lock over Chase's shoulder. His eyes narrow, mouth forming a hard line across his face.

The balls this guy has, ignoring me for over 24 hours and having the nerve to give _me_ the stink eye. Chase's head turns to look behind him, to see what's caught my attention, but when I place my hand on his bicep, he returns his gaze to me.

"Alice invited me to go to Sliding Rock, but I haven't said yes, yet." I'm pretty sure I've just done the opposite of discouraging him, because Chase's face lights up brighter than a Christmas tree.

"Well, a few of us are going muddin' up at Black Camp Gap, and I was wondering if you wanted to ride with me." He looks so hopeful, and I'm not sure if there's anything I'd rather not do more than what he's just proposed. Taking one last glance over his shoulder, I meet Edward's eyes. They're stone cold, and I'm infuriated at his audacity. The incredulity I feel spurs me on as I tell Chase, "Sure. Why not?"

I hesitantly give my digits to Chase, knowing full well what I'm doing is completely shady, but I just don't feel bad enough to not do it. I compensate by telling myself I'm going outside of my comfort zone to possibly gain a new friend, which I'm sorely lacking in. Chase seems like the kind of person who's an amazing friend, so why wouldn't I want that? _Maybe if I repeat it enough in my head, I'll begin to believe it._

After telling Chase I'll talk to him soon, I duck out the door to go home and overthink what I've just done. I'm almost to the fence when a hand grasps me around my upper arm and yanks me behind a work truck.

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Soooooooo...Thoughts?


	11. Chapter 11

Early Update numero dos! This is for Maple and Annie!

Thank you Iris, Nic and Nin, y'all are the best Beta and Prereaders a girl could ask for! And my readers are super wonderful as well! Ready?

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"Since when do you enjoy muddin'?" His voice is a low hiss in my ear. "Maybe since the last time you decided to stop talking to me. People change."

"Yeah, and sometimes they don't. Sometimes they stay _exactly_ the same." _What the hell's_ that _supposed to mean?_ My brows furrow, and I try to reign in the anger in my voice when I ask, "What are you talking about, Edward?"

His lip curls into a sneer, and he replies, "I'm just saying that you're the same, selfish little girl you've _always_ been." A smirk plays across his lips before he adds, "You know, only thinking about yourself?" I'm not going to lie; that hurt. I see a flicker of emotion flit through his eyes, and his smirk falters before he recovers the veneer of arrogance.

"Yeah? And you're a fucking asshole, which is a new development!" My palms meet his shoulders with all the strength I can manage, making him stumble back a few steps before catching his balance. He looks stunned and a little worried as to what I'm going to do next.

I surprise us both by keeping a calm, even keel. My hands rest on my hips and I look to the ground while I try to come up with something to say to diffuse the situation. "Why are you being like this? After everything that happened Saturday night, you _really_ want to revert back to pushing buttons and calling names?"

If I'm being the voice of reason here, then something's definitely wrong. Something's happened in two days' time, but I can't come up with anything that would make him act like this. He looks contemplative, like he's judging how fast he can bolt by me and get to his 4Runner.

We're staring each other down when Chase and Emmett pass us on their way to the lot. "Whaddya two doin' over there… all alone?" Emmett teasingly calls out in a sing-song voice. Chase's gleeful smile disappears.

They walk over and join us behind the truck. Chase slides in as close as he can get to me. _And this is why using people comes back to bite you in the ass._ Edward stands across from us with his arms crossed over his broad chest, looking slightly menacing. The tension of the situation seems to be lost on Emmett as he starts talking about his day. Apparently, Crowley decided to streak into the pond that lies in the middle of Sutton's vacation rentals.

He's trying to reenact what Crowley looked like running out of the pond by letting his arm hang between his legs, demonstrating Crowley's dong swinging as he tried to chase Jake down and wrestle him for the clothing.

Not getting the laughs he expected, Emmett stops his impersonation and quickly takes stock of the situation around him. Aside from my apprehension, it's just Edward and Chase squared off, looking like they're ready to brawl. Emmett hedges his way over and, with a serious tone, asks what's going on.

Edward answers before either Chase or I can think of anything to say. "We were just discussing Bella's new love of muddin' and how her good _friend_ Chase has offered to take her on Saturday. And since there's a group going, I figured we could go, too, since we're all _friends_." He does a finger movement between himself and Emmett to convey who the "we" is in this scenario.

Emmett's eyes widen, and his mouth opens into a huge, face-splitting grin. "Hell yeah! Rosie and I haven't been muddin in forever!" Again, Emmett seems oblivious to the barely controlled rage that's simmering beneath Edward's skin. "Good. Then it's all settled. Good _friends_ having some _friendly_ fun!" Edward spits out before stomping away.

The next few days sail by with no interaction between me and Edward. The distance he put between us on the first day feels like it's tripled since then. I haven't texted or called him, but I've gotten calls in the middle of the night for the past two nights. Both times, the phone flashed "Unknown Caller,"and I answered it anyway. He didn't say anything either time, but I know it was him.

Chase calls me shortly after noon on Saturday, and we decide to get a bite to eat before trekking up to Black Camp Gap. Given the plans we have for the rest of the afternoon, something casual seems to be in order. Zaxby's is on the way, and fried chicken sounds amazing.

"Thank you for coming with me today, Bella." His hand reaches across the table between us. It looks like he's about to try and hold my hand before he thinks better of it and pulls back. "I'm actually excited. I've never done this before." We drive through Maggie Valley and take a left turn onto an unmarked side road. Chase drives a lifted Jeep Wrangler with mud tires, and it bounces us up the side of the mountain. His seatbelts are racing harnesses that keep us strapped down and firmly in place.

The side road turns from pavement to gravel, becoming narrower and more inclined the farther up we go. The sun's high in the sky and breaking through the trees, making it more difficult for me to peer out the window at the drop-off along the side of the road. I have no idea how this is even considered a road. It's little more than a path, with no possibility of another car passing us in the opposite direction.

My nerves are frazzled when we finally crest the top of the mountain. The trees have opened up, and in front of us is a giant mud pit. Farther back, there's a trail leading into the woods. Rocks of varying sizes dot the inside of the pit, making traversing it exponentially more difficult.

Edward's 4Runner is off to the right, and Emmett's FJ Cruiser is turned so they can talk with their windows down. There are people I don't recognize in the beds of a couple of jacked-up trucks. "Who are they?" I ask, wondering if Chase invited them or if they're just randoms.

"Looks like Jake and Embry Call. Embry works for Jasper every now and then, too. He's married to Jake's sister, Leah."

I assumed we'd pull over to where the others are parked, but Chase has a different idea. "Hang on!" he yells out over the sound of the engine as he guns it and slings us away from the others. The jeep jerks us forward and slides through the mud when he brakes and wrenches the wheel back to the right. He stomps on the gas again, and we head to the other side of the pit, passing Edward and Emmett on the way. Mud slings up onto the windows and over the hood while I'm gripping the sides of my seat for dear life.

When we get to the other side, he turns us back in the direction we came and slows down once we've gotten back to Emmett and Edward. Slamming the brakes, we slide to a stop in front of their SUVs, and holy shit was that fun! My heart's pounding, but the adrenaline rush is giving me such a high right now! Chase turns to me and asks, "How was that?" I can't contain my excitement as laughter bubbles out of my throat.

"Oh, my God. That was awesome! Let's do it again!" For a second, I focus only on what this elation feels like: freedom. It's been so long since I've felt this light. Chase gives me a smirk and rolls down my window to talk with Edward and Emmett.

"Are we doing this or what?" Edward snarks. Emmett just shakes his head, and says he'll lead before starting the FJ and pulling out. Chase jumps in front of Edward, and Jake and Embry bring up the rear. We're in a line and drive through the middle of the pit, heading for the trail in the back. We scale the rocks in the middle of the pit, and every part of my body's clenched tight.

I'm expecting us to topple over at any minute, but Chase keeps us on course with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face as we follow in Emmett's tracks. The trail we're driving down doesn't have a clear path, so we're just making our own way deeper into the woods. Upturned tree trunks lie in the road next to broken branches and boulders.

We're able to clamber over any obstacle that comes our way until we come to a gigantic tree across the center of our made-for-us road. Emmett pulls over to the right, coming to a stop in front of the downed trunk. Chase pulls alongside and rolls my window down to talk with him.

"I'm pretty sure this is the end of the line." Emmett looks saddened by this revelation. Looking past him, I see Rose in the FJ watching the conversation. I throw my hand up and wave to her. I get a friendly "Hey!" in return. Decked out in Real Tree, she looks like a camo cheerleader.

"I think I've got this." Chase's rebuttal is infused with confidence as a skeptical-looking Emmett eyes the tree and then Chase. "I don't know, man."

"Are we heading back?" Edward's voice comes from behind my right shoulder as he walks up to stand beside Emmett.

"I'm not stopping now. I _know_ I can get across." His eyebrows rise while nodding in the affirmative. Edward's head swings to his right, takes in the sight of the tree, and then looks back at Chase with a sinister smile.

"Absolutely. You can definitely make it." His words sound agreeable, but his expression and body language are off. Emmett looks at Edward like he's off his rocker.

"Dude, I don't think−" Edward's arm flies out and lands on Emmett's shoulder, interrupting his train of thought.

"Nah. Let him do it." The two of them have a silent conversation before Chase puts the jeep in gear and we inch forward. The tree trunk looks to be about as high as the tires, and I honestly have no idea what he's thinking. There's no way we're getting across it; there's a very high probability we'll get stuck.

The jeep rocks forward and then back as Chase presses the accelerator down. The second time, the tires roll onto the log, and he pushes the pedal even harder, making the jeep sound like it's growling as it tries to heave us over the downed tree. We make it another few inches before he stomps his foot down even harder and we're catapulted forward. Both tires leave the ground and are in traction with bark.

For a moment, I'm shocked he's actually done it and slightly relieved for it to be over. My relief only lasts a second, because we're suddenly jerked to a stop, the tires still spinning. The straps of the harness dig into my shoulders and hips while it tightens enough to take my breath away. Chase looks confused and tries to solve the problem by giving it more gas.

The tires continue to spin, but we're not going anywhere. We're stuck. On top of a tree. And I'm beginning to panic, because I can't move. Outside, I can hear Emmett loudly exclaim, "Damn it! I _told_ you! Now he's fucking stuck!" Chase is still trying to drive us out of the situation but isn't having any luck. This is about all I can take. I have to get out before I completely panic. I can't handle being confined like this.

My fingers claw at the fastenings of the harness, and I'm guessing the shaking of my hands clues Chase into my distress. He reaches over, and with the flick of his wrist, I'm free. "Are you okay, Bella?" He sounds worried.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I guess I can't take being tied down. That doesn't really bode well for an adventurous sex life, huh?" It's past my lips and out of my mouth before I can catch it. The anxious look on Chase's face is replaced with a smirk.

"Just because _you_ can't be tied up doesn't mean your partner can't be." The tone of his voice is playful, and I know he's just trying to distract me. I roll my eyes but give in to the grin that's climbing my face. "Seriously, are you all right?" His hand has travelled down my arm and is resting on top of mine. Noting how strange the rough and tanned skin looks next to mine, I tell him I'm fine.

Edward and Emmett's voices carry inside the jeep, and I can hear one of them climbing onto the trunk. Worried green eyes peer inside before narrowing at the sight of Chase's hands in my lap.

"Wow. Guess I was wrong. You know what? I'll take Bella back with me, and we'll go get a tow truck to come and pry you off this thing, okay?" Edward doesn't sound at all sorry as he's opening my door. Before I've even agreed to go with him, he's grabbing my hand to pull me out.

As much as I don't want to go with Edward, getting out of the jeep doesn't sound like a bad idea. I think I've had my fill of mudding for one day. Tearing my hand out of Edward's grasp, I tell him with wide eyes and clenched teeth to stop being a dick. Over my shoulder, Chase looks like someone just kicked his puppy.

"Is it okay if I go with Edward? I'm feeling kinda claustrophobic, and getting back down to regular terrain sounds sort of appealing." I make sure to add Bambi eyes and a shoulder shrug in hopes it'll soften the blow. Reaching out, I take his hand in my left and give it a little squeeze.

"I really had fun, Chase. Give me a call, and we can do dinner or something soon, okay?" I mean every word. I like him a lot… as a friend. He seems appeased by this and nods his agreement. "I'd like that a lot, Bella."

Turning back to my right, I look out over the side of the jeep and place my feet on the edge. I'm trying to figure out the best way down when I look over to see Edward staring into the trees while his fists are jammed into his pockets. He notices me about the same time and quickly strides over to me.

Reverting into the decent human being I know he is, he works his way between my knees and holds my hips with both hands. "Hop up and I'll catch you." His voice is deep and low, but I feel the words wrap around me just like his arms do once I've jumped from my seat.

My heart double beats, feeling the warmth of his body through his shirt while clutching me against his chest. I slowly slide down until my feet make contact with the ground, lingering for a few inappropriately long seconds. My head gets foggy when he talks like that or touches me. Once I take a step away from him, everything surrounding us comes back into focus and I remember we're not alone.

Jake, Emmett, and who I am assuming is Embry are standing a little farther back, appraising the situation. "Bella got a little scared, so I'm going to take her back down and send a tow truck up to get him out." Edward thumbs in Chase's direction. My lips purse against my will, and I shoot him a withering glare. _Sure. That's why you dragged me out of the jeep: because_ I'm _scared._

"Is this your first time?" Emmett questions in disbelief. "Yep," I reply. "This just wasn't my scene in high school." I spent too much time dreaming about getting away from here to embrace any of the recreational activities most people participated in.

"Before Chase tried to be Superman, were you having a good time at least?" Emmett's question is innocent enough, but I feel Edward's eyes burning a hole into the side of my head, awaiting my answer. "I liked sliding through the mud. It was unexpectedly fun."

"Niiiiice. I love going out with first-timers." He matches me grin for grin before a throat clearing gets my attention. "Bella, you ready?" Edward asks, though he really isn't asking. I say goodbye to the guys and stop by Emmett's FJ to tell Rose goodbye, as well. Then I walk over to Edward's 4Runner.

Before I can attempt to climb into the SUV, I feel fingers slide under the edge of my shirt and dip below the waistband of my jeans. His hands are splayed out underneath my clothes, making goosebumps erupt throughout my entire body, while he swiftly lifts me, drops me into the seat, and then closes the door behind him.

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Thoughts?


	12. Chapter 12

Iris is the BEST beta ever. She makes oragami out of the paper I send and I'm beyond grateful. Nic and Nin, thank you both for holding my hand and helping me through. I don't know what I'd do without either of you. Thank you all so much for the reviews and talking with me on Facebook about this story! I love it and all of you guys so very much!

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We've already started down the mountain by the time I shake from his spell. _I cannot believe I just let that happen!_ His voice breaks through my inner chastisement. "Chase showed you a really good time, huh?" The words are dripping with contempt. My head snaps in his direction, mouth hanging loose in disbelief.

"You're kidding me, right?" _Is he serious right now?!_ "You show up at my house unannounced, fuck me not once but twice, and your… whatever she is comes to my house the next morning to presumably kick my ass. You hold me, kiss me, touch me, and then leave me. You don't answer my text asking if you're okay and ignore me for the next two days. _Then_ you proceed to call _me_ selfish and be an all-around asshole, and you honestly think you have _any_ room to say _anything_ to me?!"

He winces when my verbal assault is a direct hit. _Oh, hell no._ I turn forward once again and cross my arms over my chest. It's quiet for all of about three seconds before he spits out, "What's it feel like to have someone love you and then turn their back on you? I bet it stings."

Shocked, my jaw drops, and I try to make sense of what he's just said. I don't even know who he is right now. When we used to argue, the inflection of his voice might've changed or gotten louder, but he's cutting deep right now, going for the jugular.

"I never turned my back on you." It comes out smaller than I wanted, but I'm still processing what he's said. "You cut _me_ out, just like that." My fingers snap between us for emphasis. "You had a year to talk to me, but you pretended like I didn't exist. You _always_ knew what I planned to do after graduation. Going to college is _not_ the same as turning my back."

"Jesus Christ, Bella. You ripped my fucking heart out!" he roars out, the heel of one hand coming down hard on the steering wheel. "I could've handled just about anything and would've for you, but you didn't even give me a fucking chance! Yes, I avoided you, but I needed to know that the choices you were making weren't about me." At my confused expression, he continues in a slightly less hostile tone.

"I needed you to tell me that it wasn't just because it was mine… that you didn't decide to do it because you couldn't imagine a future with _me_." His knuckles land firmly on his chest in frustration. "But you just ignored me, too, like it didn't even matter." The muscle around his jaw twitches with the clenching of his teeth.

Silence settles around us as I struggle to say something. I've always lived under the assumption he chose to not be with me because I'd decided to have the abortion. A small part of me thought if he knew the truth that he wouldn't want to be with me anyway. We both needed reassurances the other never gave.

Both of spend the rest of the ride back deep in thought. Hearing his side makes some things a little clearer, but overall, it still feels as if I'm trying to swim through murky water. The radio's playing, and Ed Sheeran's singing about photographs and words only bleeding inside of pages. On a good day, it'd make me cry, but right now, I'm fighting against the sting behind my eyes.

We pull up to my house, and he doesn't put the 4Runner in park. He simply holds the brake and waits for me to exit. I don't know what to say. We've given each other a lot to think about, and I'm not sure if more words would help anything, so I open the door and slide myself down until the ground is beneath my feet once again. I take one last look at him before closing the door and stepping back. He doesn't linger, only waiting until I've gotten out of the way before reversing and leaving all together.

Chase calls me later, but I click the button on the top of the phone to stop the ringing but not immediately send him to voicemail. This way it looks like I just didn't hear it or couldn't get to it fast enough, not that I was ignoring him. He leaves a message apologizing for the late call, but the tow truck Edward supposedly sent never arrived, so Emmett and Rose had to send another one.

I don't crawl out of bed until after noon the following day. I kept hoping for an unknown callerto call but finally gave up in the early hours of the morning. Alice calls a little while later to let me know she's on her way to pick me up and that not going isn't an option. I'm not sure of the destination, but I do know she wants information.

The gravel crunching outside and the long horn honk alert me to Alice's presence. I grab my purse and steel myself for the inquisition that's soon to follow. Once in the Armada and back out on the road, Alice wastes no time getting information from me. "So, how'd it go?" she asks while reaching to turn the radio's volume down.

"At first, it was fun, but then Chase got us stuck on top of a tree and I had to ride back down with Edward. That part wasn't so fun." My lips purse at the memory. Alice's face scrunches up, and I think she's trying to understand what happened, so I break it down for her. "There was a trunk down across the trail we'd been driving along. Chase thought he could get over it. Turns out that he couldn't. Emmett tried to tell him not to attempt it, but Edward encouraged him to do it!" Alice throws her head back in laughter.

"Why is that so funny? I was legitimately scared!" Wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes, she tells me she's not laughing at us being stuck. "Edward's so jealous of that kid. I'm not surprised he wanted him to look stupid in front of you." I don't know what to say to that, so I just shake my head and look out the window.

"Have you guys talked about things?" Alice asks the question, and I hear the hesitation in her voice. She thinks I'm going to block her, but I've done nothing but think and think and then think some more. Alice has known him for a while in a capacity other than her little sister's boyfriend. Maybe she can help sort through all the shit in my head and make sense of it.

"We've talked a couple of times, but it's like there's no getting past the hurt. I thought we'd made progress and were on the verge of becoming friends, but…" Shaking my head, I leave it there. I don't want to tell her we slept together. I'm trying really hard to open up and let her in, but that's just too much.

"Bella, you _just_ told him you didn't have an abortion, something he's believed for _years_. Sorting through his feelings about that is going to take time. Fighting's healthy; it means you care. But I don't think that's ever been a problem for either of you." She smirks at me. "That boy loves you. Always has, always will."

"He told me I ripped his heart out. I don't know if there's any getting over that," I say while playing with my fingers in my lap.

"Do you know how Edward starting working for Jasper?" She continues, not waiting for a response. "A few years ago, before the business had really gotten its footing, Jasper was working on a new construction job. Edward was the construction manager for the project."

She looks at me like I'm supposed to understand what that means. "Edward was in charge of the job site and everyone there, from top to bottom. And that was just a small residential house. He's done buildings for the city, as well. He's even been contracted out of state."

I'm floored. If he has the knowledge and education needed to facilitate that type of job, then why is he working for Jasper? I'm about to ask when she answers my unspoken question. "They would see each other in passing, and one day, Edward asked if Jasper needed any help. Jasper assumed he knew someone who was looking for a job, so he told him he's always looking for reliable people. A few days later, Edward called and asked if they could meet up for a drink. Long story short, Edward proposed a partnership with Jasper. He bought into the business with the stipulation he would work alongside Jasper and be a silent partner. No one else knows he's part-owner."

My face crinkles in confusion. "That makes no sense. Why would he want to buy into a lawn care business and take a pay cut to boot?" Alice looks at me like I'm the slowest person ever. "I don't know, Bella. Why _would_ someone leave a well-paying job, like being an accountant, to move back to a tiny town and work for their brother-in-law's lawn care business?" _Oh._ I think I get it now. We both decided to start over and in the same way.

 _Does that mean he wasn't happy?_ _What am I supposed to do with this information?_ I don't verbalize either of those things and instead focus on why she's telling me this. "That doesn't mean anything, Alice. Maybe he just didn't like doing the construction thing."

"Maybe so. Or maybe he just wanted a change of pace. Who knows? But what I do know is he chose to start over with Jasper; that was a conscious choice. And you choosing to come back home was another equally conscious choice." She makes a valid point and has given me so many more things to obsess over.

"So, where are we going?" I ask, hoping for a change in subject. All I know is that we've merged onto the highway and are headed toward Asheville. Alice takes the bait and tells me we're going to the new outlet stores that just opened up. Apparently, everyone's been waiting for them to open, because who doesn't love designer names at discount prices? There's an Under Armour store she wants to check out, because her family's crazy about that brand. Then, for some reason, we're meeting our mother for dinner.

"How did _that_ happen?" I ask, referring to meeting Mom. She and Alice still aren't close and don't go out of their way to spend time with one another. "She called when she remembered Scarlette's birthday and asked if I wanted meet her for dinner today. I volunteered you."

Once we find a parking space, we stroll through the open-air shopping center. This whole day feels weird but in a good way. We look through racks of clothes, and I'm surprised to find we have similar tastes. After spending at least an hour and a couple hundred dollars between the two of us, I think I may be beginning to understand the obsession. Taking one last bathroom break, we walk to the parking lot with our purchases and a somewhat slower gait, knowing what's next.

"I still can't believe you threw me under the bus," I joke… sorta. Smiling, she lifts her shoulders, tilts her head to the side, and says, "Misery loves company." Clicking the button on her keys, Alice opens the trunk lid of the Armada and tosses our purchases inside. We're buckled in and pulling out of the parking lot when I ask where we're eating dinner.

"White Duck, if that's okay. I try to get some White Duck taco goodness whenever I'm over this way." Humming, she rubs her hand over her protruding belly. I easily agree. Right now, just about anything sounds delicious. I've never been to this place, but Asheville's started to become known for its cuisine. And if it's a taco joint, they have to serve margaritas, right?

We lock up and find street parking only a few spaces down from White Duck. The hostess seats us, and now we're just waiting for our mother to grace us with her presence. She, of course, is late. "The duck with mole taco is freaking amazing," Alice informs me while shoving a _queso_ -smothered chip into her mouth. I decide I'll trust her recommendation and also decide order a side of watermelon with mint once mom gets here.

I hear her before I see her. She's talking with the hostess, informing her she's meeting her daughters and asking if we've been seated. The hostess brings her over, and I plaster on my fake smile. Alice and I barely get out our hellos, and she's already midway through a story of how awful traffic was on the way here because the snowbirds cannot drive and how happy she'll be when they migrate back down south.

I signal our waitress and get my order in for a much-needed margarita. The bartender pours heavy, and halfway through the drink, I can't feel my lips anymore. It makes my mother's stories much more bearable. I do feel bad for Alice, though, because she isn't allowed the respite of tequila. She's enduring this stone-cold sober. I think my admiration for my sister just doubled.

"...and I told Phil _not_ to buy that watch, but you know what he did? He just went and bought it anyway!" Mom huffs the end of the sentence before stuffing her face with a chip. I guess I missed that conversation, and judging by Alice's glazed expression, it's a good thing.

"Bella, now that you've actually moved here, what are your plans for work?" Mom never was one to beat around the bush when nosing into someone's business. My thinking's impaired because of the liquor, and I know she knows this, but my only response is, "I'm working for Alice and Jasper."

"Well, I know that, honey. I mean, what do you plan to do long term? Surely you're not going to keep working for them when you could find a job in your field in Asheville?" She's speaking to me like I'm a three-year-old, and I have to take a deep breath to calm myself.

"I haven't really thought about it, Mom. I like being at the yard and learning something new." It's been a breath of fresh air, really. Her face contorts like she's smelled something foul. "I'd just hate to see your degree wasted." I find the straw to my margarita and slurp the remaining liquid while Alice tries to change the subject, telling Mom how much Scarlette missed her at the birthday party.

The waitress drops our check, and before I can protest, Alice whips out her card and hands it to the waitress. Standing outside the restaurant, we do the obligatory hugs and "I'll call you soon" talk before Mom goes in the direction of her car. Once Alice and I are inside the Armada, we both exhale and lean our heads on the headrest.

"How did we turn out normal coming from _that_?" Alice asks. I think her question might be rhetorical, but I answer anyway. "Are we, though?" We don't talk much on the ride home. I take in the darkness outside and the glow of the dashboard lights reflecting off the glass of the windows. My ears pop with the increase in altitude as we head back to Waynesville. Today was a good day.

Alice drops me off at home, and before I get out of the Armada, she tells me she had a really good time, and it's sincere when I tell her I did too. I take a shower and decide to Netflix the rest of the night. My tipsy state has dissipated over the last couple of hours, and I'm wired as I lie in bed and try to sleep. I'm reaching for my phone to scroll through Buzzfeed when it suddenly lights up with a text.

" _Would you rather have a time machine that only goes back in time or one that only goes forward?"_


	13. Chapter 13

Just want to say thank you to Iris, Nic and Nin, they're most amazing beta and prereaders ever! Also, thanks to anyone spending time reading my words. I appreciate it more than you know.

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The next few months seem to roll by, much the same as the first couple of weeks did. Alice and I only seem to be getting closer, and I think I might have a best friend. I eat dinner with the family a couple of nights a week and actually enjoy my time with them. I've somewhat bonded with my two oldest nieces over a shared love of music and hot celebrity guys.

After Edward sent that random time machine text, I've received one every couple of days since. We have a silent agreement not to speak when we're around each other, but we're not provoking one another, either. I've texted back my answer to whatever ridiculous question he's throw at me, but I haven't been answering lately. I've kept each one, rereading them repeatedly, and I feel like the first text was an olive branch, but I don't know what the point of the rest are when we're not talking.

I'm pretty sure whatever he had with Chelsea is over. Alice and Jasper make sure I don't have to go to the bank for anything, so I haven't actually seen her around, but I've overheard people talking. Word on the street is that he's single.

Chase was relentless after our mudding adventure. He called and texted daily for a while, but I finally took him aside and explained we'd never progress past friends. He was pouty and petulant at first, but he's since started dating the daughter of one of Jasper's clients, and we're cool now.

Summer's officially over, and the weather's turned cold enough to frost the ground in the mornings. I've started wearing a hoodie to work, because it's so cold; it is to me, at least. Alice is always hot. On the days she comes to the yard, we battle over the thermostat.

The baby's due any day now, and I've been thinking about where I go from here. I don't like the idea that the signature on my paycheck could very easily be Edward's. Just because he chooses not to assert his part ownership in that element, I'm still not comfortable with it. After the baby's here, I'll help Alice during the first few weeks, but in the meantime, I'm going to be looking for an accounting job.

I'm not the same person I was when I first moved here. I was looking for something to change or fix the past, but I can't do that; I can only change the future, and that means using my degree to get on with the rest of my life. I'm hoping to find something in Waynesville, but I'd be willing to commute to Asheville or Sylva.

I get a call from Jason James with Highland Brewing Company, a local brewery in Asheville, to schedule an interview. I have my resume on CareerBuilder and have sent a few out, but I can't remember if I sent one to that specific company or not. The interview's scheduled for next Tuesday, so I have a couple of days to figure out how to tell Alice and Jasper I'm not going to be working for them much longer. They essentially made a position just for me so I'd come home, and I really don't want to let them down.

With the change in weather, the guys have started cutting more wood. When stacking, I still get lost in the building of wood towers. Emmett finished his jobs early today and has been using the wood splitter, adding to the growing pile. It's a loud machine that scares me to death. One wrong move could result in a lost finger or hand, but it makes cutting the wood into smaller pieces much easier.

My towers are getting sloppy as I try to keep up with Emmett. With every piece he throws into the pile, his grin grows that much larger. I've just added the last layer to the top of my tower when it all comes crashing down. I see the base wobble before it falls and have just enough time to jump out of the way as the logs hit the ground where my feet just were.

Emmett's head turns to look at me and the dance I'm doing before letting out a loud laugh, which I can barely hear over the sound of the splitter. My mouth purses, and I shoot him a glare before catching the infectious laughter, a giggle breaking out from between my lips. He reaches over and flips a switch that instantly stops the noise coming from the machine.

"What's the matter, hotstepper? Can't keep up?" His dimples shine with glee at making fun of me.

"Actually, I think it's pretty sad that if the tower hadn't fallen, I would've kept pace with you. And you call yourself a country boy. Letting a city girl show you up like that?" I _tsk tsk_ before bending over to pick up the fallen pieces of wood to put back into place.

"You're not a city girl, Bella. You haven't been for a while now." One side of Emmett's mouth quirks up while rubbing a thumb over his eyebrow. The rumble of an engine breaks into our conversation, and we both eye the truck as it comes into the yard.

Edward meets my gaze as he drives past us and parks the truck. We see each other every day but only speak when it's necessary for work. He gives us a nod and a ''Sup,'but keeps going into the office.

Once he's inside, Emmett looks at me and says, "You know they're over, right?" My brows furrow, and he understands my questioning look, quickly adding, "Edward and Chelsea. They're over."

Not knowing what to say, I focus on stacking wood and manage to stammer out, "I, uh… I didn't know." At least I didn't know for sure, but I guess I have my confirmation now. "Yep. Really weird, too. I don't think those two ever had a fight the entire time they dated. Then, one day, he just ends it." I can feel Emmett staring at me, looking for a reaction as he speaks.

"Hmm…" It's the only thing I can manage while being pinned under his stare. He continues to watch me even after he's finished talking. I'm not giving anything away, though, so he takes my silence as the nonverbal cue it is and flips the splitter on again.

On the day of my interview, I'm all sweaty palms and nervous stomach. Highland Brewing Company is situated along the French Broad River and housed in a rust-colored, burnished brick building. Square panes of glass showcase large silver containers, glinting in the sunlight. They hold what I'm assuming to be, or what will be at some point, beer. The double doors at the front lead into a reception area with plants everywhere. It's very clean and modern, wood and metal in contrast.

The woman behind the desk stands as I enter and sticks her arm straight out in front of her, offering me a hand in greeting. "Hello. I'm Victoria. You must be Isabella." Her Southern drawl greets my ears and makes me smile. Combined with her bouncy, red curls and freckles sprinkled across the bridge of her nose, she's very personable, so much so that I almost forget to correct her use of my birth name.

"Actually, it's just Bella. Very nice to meet you, Victoria." We shake hands, and she tells me to have a seat while she lets Mr. James know I'm here. The waiting area's small and has a glass table in the middle, which is topped with several beer-brewing magazines.

 _Huh. I had no idea there were such magazines._

I'm midway through one called _DRAFT ‒_ learning about ales, lagers, and porters ‒ when Mr. James saunters into the reception area.

He's tall and thin, with an ungroomed beard covering the lower half of his face. Large brown eyes hide behind thick black frames, and the moustache on his upper lip curls out on the edges like a silent picture villain from the twenties. His demeanor's very serious, and even though I'm fascinated by this character, I put on my interview face and keep myself in check.

"Bella, is it? I'm Jason. It's nice to meet you." He smiles, and small, squared white teeth peek out through the bush on his face. He ushers me down a narrow hallway and through a door, leading into an office with a large glass window. The office overlooks the floor of the brewery. Connected by tubes, large copper and steel pots line the floor. It's all very sterile looking but beautiful at the same time. Being able to look down upon all of this every day must be very empowering.

He motions for me to take a seat before sitting behind his desk and picking up what looks to be my resume. "I see you recently moved here from Atlanta. Why did you choose Asheville to relocate to?" And so begins the explanation of growing up nearby, moving away, and coming home in the last few months. I give him an overview of the company I worked for in Atlanta and the basics of my day-to-day life working at Excel and crunching numbers.

He's hard to read but seems to be impressed by what I'm saying. "Bella, I like what I see so far, and I think you're beyond qualified for the position. My only concern is not being able to afford your expertise," he says flatly.

While pay isn't the most important factor, I need to survive without making too big a dent in my savings _and_ still pay my student loans. Given that the job is local, I tell him I'd be willing to negotiate income requirements. With a firm handshake, he says he'll contact me in a few days with a decision. I leave the interview feeling pretty good about it but hesitant overall.

I'm having dinner at Alice and Jasper's tonight, but decide to stop and change my clothes before going to their house. As I'm pulling into my drive, I notice something sitting on my porch next to my front door, but I can't make out what it is from inside the car. My curiosity's piqued, and I try to remember if I've made any Amazon purchases recently.

A brown paper bag contains a pack of strawberry and grape Nerds and a Milky Waycandy bar. Next to the bag is a potted orchid.

 _He remembered._

My breakfasts in high school consisted of Dr. Pepper, a gas station cappuccino, a pack of Nerds, and a Milky Way. The orchid is the flower he had my corsages for both of our proms made from. My heart bangs restlessly behind my ribs.

There isn't time to think about this right now. It's such a big deal to me, but I don't feel I have the proper amount of attention to expend on it. I'll focus solely on this once I've returned from dinner, I'm sure. When I arrive at Alice and Jasper's, I sit in my car for a few prolonged minutes. I've decided to tell them about the interview and my looking for employment elsewhere after dinner. They won't really need me after the baby's a few weeks old; I just don't want to spring this on them at the last minute.

Alice is at the stove, stirring something in a giant pot. I get a whiff of whatever it is, and I'm instantly salivating. I think Jasper's mother gave her cooking lessons when they were first married, and it's certainly paid off. The doors to the house are wide open, with the fans turned on high, and she's still sweating. It feels like a meat locker in here, and the kids are bundled up on the couch in hoodies and sweatpants. I'm sure they'll be glad when she pops this kid out.

"That smells so freaking good! What are we having?" I ask.

Alice startles, not having heard me enter the house. "Jesus! You just scared the shit out of me!" she retorts, placing a hand over her heart.

"Sorry. I thought you would've heard the door open. My bad!" She looks frazzled, and I think _she'll_ be glad when this kid's out. "Are you okay? You seem a little off." She makes eye contact with me, but then closes her eyes and rubs her forehead between her brows while placing her other hand on her hip.

Letting out a breath, she says, "Yeah. I'm just tired." She looks exhausted, and I feel bad she's making dinner for everyone. I should've volunteered to help.

"I'm so sorry, Alice. Here. Let me help. What can I do?" I've got no idea where to start, but I'm willing to learn. She laughs through her nose and looks at me with adoration before saying, "That's okay, Bells. We'd like to have an edible dinner, but thanks for the offer." We laugh, because I'm shit in the kitchen and we know it. At least she's laughing.

"Aunt Bella, have you listened to that new song by One Direction, yet?" Emily asks without even saying hello. I've noticed the girls don't do greetings; they just start talking as if we've been in the middle of a conversation and never stopped. "I did, but I'm not feeling it; not yet, anyway. It might grow on me, though. I _did_ see that they're breaking up next year." This earns me a glare.

"They're notbreaking up; they're just taking a break!" Her lips form a pout, and I can't help but chuckle a little bit; she's too easy to rile up. When I realized she was a Directioner, I started paying more attention to the info posted about them on online. Her sister, Leah, is into 5 Seconds of Summer ‒ or 5SOS, as I have been instructed to refer to them as ‒ and I've found it's really nice to have something to talk to them about.

Alice interrupts to ask how my appointment went today, and before I have to answer, Scarlette comes into the kitchen, thankfully focusing all the attention onto her. Dinner usually consists of Alice, Jasper, and I at one end of the table and the kids at the other, but we all carry on multiple conversations at once. I'm interacting with everyone but only minimally. In my head, I'm trying to plot out how I'm going to tell Jasper and Alice, wondering what their reactions will be.

The kids finish eating and begin taking their dishes into the kitchen. Before Jasper or Alice can get up from the table, I ask them if we can talk privately for a minute. I see them shoot looks at one another and wonder what that's about. Alice asks Emily to watch Scarlette for a little while, and she and the rest of the girls mosey into the living room to watch a movie.

"What's up?" Alice asks as she leans forward in her chair, hands absentmindedly rubbing her rounded stomach. Jasper laces his fingers together and places them on the table, waiting for me to begin.

"Well, I just wanted to thank you guys for everything you've done for me, giving me a job and just being there for me. These past couple of months have been hard, but you've made it a lot easier, and I really appreciate that." They're both watching me wearily, and I can see them waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"But I think it's time for me to start building the rest of my life." I have to pause before I tell them the truth. "I didn't have a doctor's appointment today. I was at a job interview." I look down at my hands and then guiltily back at them.

"But you already have a job," Alice responds, confusion clear in her tone.

"Allie, I can't keep working for you and Jay for the rest of my life. You know this is just a temporary thing, and I think it's time I figured things out. I'm almost thirty years old." Alice's eyes water, and I instantly feel awful. Scooting over to the chair next to her, I take her hands in mine. Her face is pinched as she tries to fight the tears away.

"But I'm not ready to lose you again! I just got you back!" She begins to sob. Jasper wraps her up in his arms and pulls her into his chest.

I knew she wasn't going to take it well, but she's sorta breaking my heart. "Baby, we all knew this was coming. You and I have talked about the possibility of Bella finding another job. Why are you so upset?" Jasper's voice is soft as he strokes her hair back and away from her face.

"I just didn't think it was going to happen _right_ _now_!" she wails into his shirt.

"I'm not going anywhere until after the baby's born. It'll even be a few weeks after that. I promise!" I say quickly to hopefully appease her and stop the crying. She sniffs loudly and wipes her face on Jasper's shirt before looking at me again.

"Really? You promise?" I nod. She's still frowning, but hesitantly begins to question me about where I interviewed and if I think I'd like working there. And just like that, it's over.

I left my phone in the car during dinner, and once I'm home, I see I have several new emails. I plop down on the couch, begin to scroll through and delete the trash items, and read the ones that aren't. The name S. Hunter Stamm is in my inbox with the message subject "Resume."Knowing this is another potential interview, I open the message immediately.

Mr. Stamm is with PricewaterhouseCoopers, one of the most prestigious accounting firms in Atlanta, with locations all over the world. I forwarded them my resume back before I decided to move home. He wants to set up an interview as soon as possible and asks for me to contact his assistant at my earliest convenience. I'll be calling her first thing tomorrow morning. My smile fades when my eyes find the orchid.

 _Why is he doing this?_

I snatch the paper bag off the coffee table and fish out the Nerds. Shaking both kinds into my hand and popping them into my mouth, I try to focus on being excited about new career opportunities, but can only think about whether I'm going to get a text tonight or not. Later, after I've already gone to bed, I get a phone call, but it's not from Edward.

Jasper's voice booms through the phone. "It's happenin'! We're on the way to the hospital! Get dressed and meet us there! Quick!"

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Thoughts?


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you to Iris, Nic and Nin. I can't say it enough. I don't know what I'd do without you ladies! Also, thank you to everyone reading this. I hope you enjoy!

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I throw my phone into my purse, grab my keys, and run to my car as fast as my legs will carry me. Adrenaline's coursing through my body, and I couldn't be happier about getting to meet my newest niece soon. The hospital in Waynesville's slightly on the scary side. No one ever chooses to go there, so Alice and Jasper have made arrangements with Mission Hospital in Asheville.

The drive's quiet, with not a lot of cars on the road this late at night. I make it to the hospital in record time, but in all the excitement, I forgot to ask Jasper exactly where to go. Apparently, the hospital has several different buildings that all look like they house an emergency room. The first building I go to turns out to be an administrative building, but the portly night guard gives me directions to a different building across the street. He says I should be able to find the maternity wing there.

The guard really misjudged my directional abilities, because before finding the maternity floor, I end up at trauma surgery. The helpful nurses there reassure me it happens all the time and give me step-by- step instructions for finding Alice and Jasper. After completing what can only be described as a wooden floor maze, I finally find the room I'm looking for.

I knock before hearing a call to enter and see Jasper with his phone by his ear, no doubt telling someone else about the impending arrival of baby number six. His other hand's being grasped by Alice. A contraction must start to happen while Jasper's still on the phone, because Alice brings him to his knees after clenching his fingers in her fist. He chokes out that he has to go and ends the call.

The other hand Alice doesn't have on Jasper is firmly grasping the rail of her bed. She's breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, with her eyes squeezed shut and hair matted to her head. "How far apart are the contractions? Should I get a nurse?" I don't like seeing my sister in pain and wonder where in the hell the doctor is to administer the drugs.

"They just checked her a few minutes ago, but she's not far enough along for an epidural." Jasper winces as Alice seems to be riding out the last of the contraction and frees his hand. Shaking it, he flexes his fingers and makes a fist, ensuring his hand's all right, before returning to soothe Alice. The excited energy Jasper's exuding is palpable, and even though I know Alice is in pain, I can feel it rolling off her in waves, as well. She blows out a breath, and looks up to Jasper as he leans in and places his forehead against hers. Whispered words pass between them, and I feel like I'm intruding on their moment. With the excuse of searching for ice chips, I quietly exit the room.

Upon returning with ice, I see that a nurse is checking Alice's vitals. She says everything looks good, that Alice has dilated enough for the epidural, which I guess means this baby's going to be here soon. The nurse leaves, and Alice asks if I'll make calls to our parents, Emmett, and Edward. Jasper's mom is at their house with the kids, so that's one less call I have to make.

I leave a message for dad, telling him grandchild six is gearing up for her grand entrance into the world and to stop by the hospital tomorrow to meet her. It takes mom almost five rings before she answers sleepily. "Mmlo?"

"Mom, it's Bella. Alice is in labor. She's having the baby tonight!" The more phone calls I make, the more excited I'm getting, and it's coming out in the volume of my voice. I pause, giving my mother time to get enthusiastic like I am… but she doesn't. "Why didn't you wait to call me until after the baby's born?" I'm slightly stunned by her dismissal. I just figured she'd be a little excited at the fact that a new little human, one that's a part of her, will be arriving soon.

"I, uh, I thought you'd want to know now?" It comes out as a question. My mind's blank, and I have no idea how to respond.

"Oh. Well, thanks for calling. We'll come by sometime tomorrow." Then there's another pause before she continues. "Wait. How long are they going to keep her in the hospital?"

"I'm not really sure, Mom. I've never done this before. I would guess until tomorrow or maybe the next day. It probably depends on when the baby's actually born. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I have plans tomorrow, and I was going to say that if they'll be staying an extra day, then I'll just come by the following day."

 _Seriously?! You're about to be a grandmother again. Could you show a little excitement for Alice, at least?_

"How about I just tell Alice you'll be by at some point and text you if they're staying an extra day? Sound good?" My tone's clipped, but I can't help feeling secondhand affronted for Alice. Is this how she's been with all the girls' births?

Mom either doesn't pick up on my tone or doesn't care, telling me she's going back to sleep and will see me soon. Shaking my head, I scroll through my contacts, intentionally passing Edward's name and clicking on Emmett's instead. It only rings a couple of times before Emmett's drowsy voice yawns through the phone. "What's up, Bella Bean?"

"We're at the hospital. Alice is in labor!" I let the excitement creep back in, because I know Emmett will match it. I'm not disappointed.

"Rosie, you owe me twenty bucks! She's at the hospital about to pop that kid out _right now_!" he yells into the phone, causing me to pull it away from my ear.

There's noise that sounds like the phone changing hands, and after a second, I hear Rosalie's voice. "How far along? She hasn't had her, yet, has she?"

"No, not yet. I left to make calls for them, and she's currently receiving an epidural, so I'm assuming it won't be much longer now." I find my cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and I'm bouncing on the balls of my feet. "Okay. I'll come by first thing in the morning, and Em can come when he gets finished in the afternoon. Thanks for calling, Bella. I know Jasper and Alice are so happy you're there with them."

"Thanks, Rose. I'll see you tomorrow."

Before I hang up, she says, "Bye, Auntie Bells."

We're both giggling as I press the end button on my phone. Now, I just have to call Edward.

I stare at his name for a bit, before deciding to just bite the bullet and press call. He answers on the third ring.

"Bella?" There's not one ounce of sleep in his voice. I know he's wondering what I'm doing on the other end of his phone, stepping over the line we've drawn in the sand.

"Alice is in the hospital. The baby− She's about to have the baby." I blurt it all out anxiously, trying to explain my reason for calling.

"Oh... Um, all right, then." The line's silent once more, with the awkward we do so well. I'm about to start trying to wrap up the call when he says, "Do you need me− anything? I mean, do you need me to bring you anything, or do Jasper and Alice need things?"

"No. I think we're good for now. Can you handle everything at the yard in the morning, or do−" I don't even get a chance to finish my thought when he interrupts.

"I've got it. Don't worry about any of that. Tell them I'll stop by after work tomorrow." Just when I think he's done, he adds, "Okay?" It's very hesitant and uncertain, and it brings a smile to my face.

"Okay. I've gotta get back now. Bye, Edward."

"Bye, Bella."

My phone displays that the call's been ended, and I make my way back to Alice and Jasper's room. As I make my way inside, Jasper's bright blue eyes look to mine and then back to Alice on the bed. He's still holding her hand, but she seems much better than when I left a little while ago. The good doctor has been in and shared his pharmaceuticals with Alice, who's now numb south of her ribs.

"Look at this! I'm trying to move my leg, but it just lies there. Nothing." She grins up at me, and I wonder exactly what the doctor gave her, but at least she isn't hurting anymore. I didn't like the feeling it gave me to see her in pain. As he strokes the back of her hand once again, Jasper and I exchange looks of amusement.

The machine that shows the baby's activity starts to jump, the lines moving in a sharp incline, declining, and then inclining again. "She's having another contraction," Jasper explains. "They're getting so much closer together. I'm glad she got the epidural when she did. If they'd waited much longer, she might not have been able to get it. It seems Serenity can't wait to get out!"

"Serenity? Did you guys finally decide on that?" They've been going back and forth for at least a month on her name. I was beginning to worry she'd get here and be Baby Girl Whitlock.

"Yes. Her full name's Patience Serenity, but she'll go by Serenity," Alice says as the lines on the machine start to drastically climb and fall again. The hand Alice had resting on her stomach flies off. She pushes the blankets down below her bump and pulls back the gown she has covering her.

"You have to see this," she says, slight humor in her tone.

There's distinct movement in her stomach that's easily seen, and it's simultaneously the coolest and grossest thing ever. I can feel my eyes widen and mouth drop open as I whisper, "Whoa."

"Pretty cool, huh?" She's enjoying sharing this with me, and even though my mind wants to travel down a different road, one where I'm the one with the rounded stomach, I won't let it. I'm focusing on being excited for her and in this moment.

A little while later, the nurse from earlier comes back into the room and does another check. She informs us Alice is dilated to ten and leaves to get the doctor. Once she's out the door, Alice asks me if I'm going to stay while the baby's born. I love my sister, and I know I'll love Serenity, too, but I don't want to see any more than what I already have.

The doctor comes in, and I start edging my way back out into the hall. Alice tells me to listen for the music to play on the overhead system. They apparently play piano music every time a baby's born.

Wishing her good luck, I exit the room and make my way down to the waiting area. Sitting in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes, exhaling a breath I feel I've been holding since Jasper called me several hours ago.

I'm just starting to drift when the strains of a beautiful melody announcing my niece's arrival lull me into sleep. All too soon, a hand's jostling me awake. "Bella? Hey. Come on. Serenity's here and wants to meet her aunt." Jasper's voice brings me back into consciousness. My eyes pry themselves open to meet his tired, red-rimmed ones.

"She's out?" I ask, stretching, still trying to wake myself up. He laughs, helps me get out of my seat, and then leads me back down the hall. Alice is holding and cooing at the bundle wrapped in her arms when we enter the room. Walking over to the bed, Alice lifts her up for me to hold. I take her and tuck her into my arms tightly before sitting in a chair to look at this little piece of perfection.

She's wrapped in a pink blanket and has a matching pink cap with a huge bow. I can't help thinking she looks like a little Pepto-colored burrito. But she's beautiful. Her skin coloring is dark, taking after Alice in that aspect. I wonder if she'll have our dark hair and eyes, as well. She feels so tiny in my arms, like a sleeping little angel.

Alice says she's thirsty and would maim for a sweet tea, so I volunteer to run down the street to McDonald's. Asheville may not be a big city like Atlanta, but they do have a 24-hour McDonald's. After returning with the syrupy goodness and some crack fries, I leave to allow Jasper and Alice some bonding time with the newest of their brood. The sun's peeking out from over the mountains when I climb into my bed, immediately passing out from exhaustion.

I awake early the next afternoon and quickly hop into the shower. I'm headed back to the hospital to see Serenity, also checking to see whether Alice and Jasper need me to do anything for them.

I remember I need to call Mr. Stamm's assistant to make an appointment to interview with him. I was shocked to get the email in the first place, so there's no way I could live with myself if I didn't at least meet with the guy. Before I leave for the hospital, I make the call and set the appointment for the following week. Alice freaked out when I told her I was looking for a job, and I know she'll have a conniption when she finds out I'm interviewing in Atlanta. I'm not looking forward to that conversation at all, but I'm not going to think about it today. I've got a little bit of time before I'm forced to deal with it.

The drive back to Asheville seems to take no time at all because my thoughts are scattered. Babies and the possibility of a job I've coveted since deciding I wanted to play with numbers for a living are running rampant. After almost missing my exit, I wave my hand in apology at the truck I had to cut off in order to make it and pay more attention the rest of the way.

Luckily, I don't make the same mistakes I did last night and find the correct building on the first try. I also make it to Alice's room without getting lost or help from the hospital staff. So far, it's a stellar day.

Knocking softly before entering, my heart skids to a stop at the sight in front of me: Edward sitting in a rocking chair with a snugly-wrapped Serenity in his arms.

Nothing has ever looked more like it belonged, more perfect, than this tiny baby in his embrace.

He's smiling down at her, speaking silent words only she can hear, while his finger strokes her cheek. He's so consumed in the moment that at first he doesn't realize I've entered the room, and it gives me a few seconds to fantasize about what could've been. He's so soft and unguarded in this moment, and I get a brief glimpse of the boy I fell in love with.

Once he realizes he's not alone, his eyes find mine and he smiles shyly. Looking from me and back down to the tightly-swaddled baby in his arms, he rocks her gently and continues his conversation. Alice clears her throat and pulls my attention away from Edward, giving me a knowing smile.

"Hey. How are you feeling, Momma?" I ask, smiling because she knows exactly what I'm thinking.

"I'm a little sore, but I'm feeling pretty good overall." She's been through this five times before, and you'd think she'd be more exhausted, but she seems to be handling it like a champ.

"That's a damn fine sight over there, isn't it? Something about watching strong arms as they're wrapped around a baby that punches you right in the ovaries." There's no way he didn't hear that; Alice wasn't exactly quiet. I feel my eyes widen, and I refuse to look over at the real-life version of my biggest fantasy being played out.

"Has Mom come by, yet?" Diversion's my only defense. Since the baby's here now, it seems Alice can once again focus on meddling in my affairs.

"Not yet. I doubt she'll make it before we leave the hospital. She usually comes by once we're home or a few days after." Shrugging her shoulders, Alice doesn't seem too affected by this. If it were me, I'd be royally pissed that Mom wasn't already here.

I sneak peeks out of the corner of my eye while I talk to Alice, and Edward's too enraptured with the baby to notice. Alice is right; it does hit me hard − in the ovaries and in the heart. He simultaneously confuses me, infuriates me, and beguiles me.

We're interrupted a short time later by a knock on the door. Balloons, flowers, and a teddy bear enter the room ahead of Rose. She's all smiles and heads straight for Edward, who's still holding Serenity. Reluctantly, he passes her into Rose's eager hands. The room's beginning to feel claustrophobic, so I decide to leave, knowing I'll get more time with Serenity soon. I inquire as to whether Jasper and Alice need me to do anything for them before they leave the hospital. They've already made arrangements for everything they could possibly need, so she says she'll call when they're being discharged.

I say my goodbyes and nuzzle Serenity for a moment before I exit. My feet quickly shuffle along the checkered hallway in an effort to put distance between myself and whichever version of Edward is present today: the angry, bitter man or the sweet, loving boy who sends me perplexing texts and leaves thoughtful yet confusing presents on my doorstep. I'm almost to my car when I hear his voice calling my name, and my body instinctually reacts. My legs freeze, and I'm immobilized where I stand, waiting for him to catch up.

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Thoughts?


	15. Chapter 15

Thank you as always, to Iris, Nic and Nin. You ladies are seriously wonderful! Maple, Annie and Kendall - I'm sorry it's not early but at least it's here, which means no Richard for me! I love you guys! Thank you to anyone reading, you make my life!

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EPOV

 _Fuck_. It's the one word that plays on a loop in my head whenever Bella's nearby. Usually, it's an exclamation at the dumbass things I've said and done to her these past few months. Today, it's in frustration at possibly losing the chance to talk to her.

After we had sex and I left her house, I went to Chelsea's. What was done was done, and there wasn't any salvaging that relationship, even if I'd wanted to. We talked. Well, _I_ talked; she yelled and cried. I moved around her house and collected my things while she pleaded with me not to end it, but I'd ended it the second I stepped foot into Bella's house the night before. I should've told Chelsea first, but things just didn't go that way. As I gathered up my clothes and Chelsea realized I had no intention of working anything out, she got angry. She began throwing out every fear I didn't even know I had about Bella and me, and it worked. She told me I was just a working-class guy, that I'd never be enough for Bella. I wasn't enough the first time, so why would I be now?

As I lay in bed that night and my phone lit up with Bella's text asking if I was okay, I asked myself the same thing. I love her − of that, there's no doubt − but I was still so mad. I didn't know what to do with the anger I had toward her at thinking she'd aborted our baby. I'd spent so long hating her that even though the reason was no longer there, it didn't mean my rage had immediately evaporated.

Then I remembered the fear and uncertainty I'd felt wondering if she was only choosing an abortion because she just didn't want me to be a part of her life, that she couldn't see a future with me. She hadn't even told me she'd miscarried. Why hadn't she figured out a way to tell me?! She let me believe she'd done this awful thing against my wishes, and I couldn't wrap my head around why she'd do it.

I stewed over it the whole night and the following day. By the time I saw her again, I was feeling absolutely malicious. I knew if we talked, there wasn't any way it would come out pretty. My temper's hotwired to my vocal chords, and that short circuits my brain just enough for my verbal filter not to work, so I planned to avoid her. That changed when I walked into the office and watched Chase ask her to go mudding with him. My Bella wouldn't be caught dead mudding. But I'll be damned if she didn't agree and then stroke his motherfucking arm as they firmed up plans for the weekend.

Flames licked up my neck, and I'm pretty sure smoke was coming out of my ears. This was the work of the Bella I hated, and it gave me all the reason I needed to keep the hate alive. The day we all went mudding, I kept thinking she'd back out. When Chase rolled up with her in tow− him proceeding to show off like the tool he is and her looking like she was actually enjoying herself − that's when shit got real and I began to lose it.

Later, when Chase thought he was going to be a hero and cross that downed trunk, I egged him on. I knew crossing it wasn't possible. I wanted him to succeed in proving what a dumbass he is, which he did. But he also scared Bella, and since it was partially my fault he'd even attempted it, I felt bad.

Once we were making our way back down the mountain and she'd called me out on my asinine behavior, I really lost it. I felt unhinged as I spelled out all of my insecurities for her. We sat in silence the rest of the ride, and I decided that a regroup was needed before attempting to converse with her again.

Now, as I trail her through the hospital and out into the parking lot, I'm regretting taking so long to do this. Did I blow it? Did I wait too long?But I had to separate myself from the situation and think it through. That ride home after mudding made me realize we were too volatile. Any wrong word or look could've been taken out of context and used as a declaration of war. I wanted to get past all the anger and bitterness. I just needed the time to get my head right.

"Bella!" I yell as loudly as I can before she can escape.

I don't know what I thought she'd do, but she stops mid-stride and doesn't turn around. I jog over to her, afraid that if I don't hurry, she'll leave and this small sliver of opportunity will be squandered. The wind's blowing her hair all around, and I watch her gather it into her fist as she spins toward me. Her face is a myriad of emotions, but the one I can definitely interpret is uncertainty. This girl... _T_ _his_ is the girl I've always been in love with. She's the one who fucked up, put up with my fuck-ups, and came back to me anyway. And maybe she didn't know she was coming back to me, but she's still here. _I'm_ still here.

"I'm sorry." I have to say that before there's any room for any other cards to be laid out on the table. It's not enough, but I hope she'll accept it. "For everything."

She wasn't looking at me before, but with those two words, her eyes find mine. I hope she can see how much I mean it. A small smile twists her mouth upward, and she finally says, "Okay," nodding at me.

I'm not at all ready for her to go, but she must think I'm finished talking and turns away to her car once again. If I let her go now, I'll never get another shot. It's now or never, and I don't think I can live with never anymore.

"We're Dr. Pepper and Pop Rocks." It's the first thing that comes to mind, which means it just flies out of my mouth due to the short circuit.

 _Ah, fuck. Here I go._

She shoots me a puzzled look over her shoulder, and I feel compelled to explain.

"When I was buying candy for you, I saw the Pop Rocks. They made me think of you." I can't help the grin that breaks out across my face. I think of her at the oddest of times, the candy aisle of a gas station being one of them.

"And I thought about you and me together, and it made me think of how Pop Rocks react when they're mixed with soda. But you're not _just_ soda, because soda's too generic. You'd have to be Dr. Pepper, not only because it's my favorite but because it has twenty-something different flavors. And I'd be the Pop Rocks, completely dormant until your multi-flavored saccharin's added to the mix. Then I explode." My hands move wildly, emphasizing said explosion and hoping to God she understands what I'm trying to say here.

She's looking at me like I've lost my mind, and maybe I have. It feels like there's too much space between us, so I take a step toward her and close the distance. The wind has turned her cheeks pink, and I can't stop my fingers from swiping the loose strands away from her face. I don't mean to, but my hand has a mind of its own, and I watch as it cups her jaw. The good news is she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, I think I feel her lean into it for a fraction of a second before she closes her eyes and shakes her head, effectively shaking my hand away.

"Edward. I just… I don't…" Neither of those sentences feels like it can end in any sort of favorable way for me. Her eyes are still closed, so she doesn't see me coming when I lean in and just kiss her. I keep my eyes open to watch for hands flying at my face, but lucky for me, that isn't necessary. She's definitely shocked by my forward behavior, but I use it to my advantage.

Taking her face in between the palms of my hands, I pull her lips to mine again. I let my fingers slide into her hair and tangle between the strands, willing her to open for me.

 _Let me in. Let me in._

It feels like hours before I _finally_ feel her begin to respond. Her lips press back so faintly that I think I might have imagined it. It's tentative and small, but enough. I suck her bottom lip into my mouth, grazing it with my teeth just the tiniest bit.

That's all it takes for her to respond enthusiastically. Lifting onto her toes, she threads her fingers into the hair at the base of my neck and pulls her hips flush against mine.

 _I want this. I want her._

My hands move from her face, down her body, and into the back pockets of her jeans. Resisting the urge to squeeze her ass is difficult, so I try to just enjoy the feel of it in my palms. The need to breathe necessitates us breaking apart, but I rest my forehead against hers, keeping my eyes closed.

 _God, she feels good._

"Please forgive me," I whisper.

She keeps her eyes locked with mine as she shakes her head from side to side. I knew it wouldn't be that easy, and that's okay. I'll put in the time to show her I mean it. I'm not going anywhere.

She folds her arms across her chest and takes a step back saying, "There's nothing to forgive. It's done, and we're over it... right?" She looks so hopeful. I want nothing more than to give her whatever she wants, so I nod in agreement. I'm not an idiot, though. I know there's much more than just sweeping it under a rug, but for now, it's good enough.

"You wanna go somewhere with me tonight?" I ask while nodding my head, hoping it'll encourage her to nod hers in agreement.

Her face splits into a goofy grin. "Yes."

 _Fuck yeah._

My hand reaches out and grabs hers, playing with her fingers while swinging our arms side to side. I swear to God… This girl makes me feel like a kid again.

"Can I pick you up around six?" It's only a couple of hours away, and I've got some shit to get done before then.

Her other hand reaches out and grasps our intertwined fingers, using it to pull me to her. Like magnets, our lips come back together. I anchor my hand back in her hair, pushing my tongue into her mouth − her very talented and sweet mouth. I can't resist biting her lip once more before I tell her I'll see her later and make my way to the 4Runner. It feels like a weight's been lifted from my shoulders, and suddenly, I'm the happiest motherfucker there ever was. I have a chance. _We_ have a chance.

The air's begun to chill now that the sun's going down. The wind's blowing around stray leaves that are beginning to fall from the trees. I make a run to Ammons and grab a couple of BBQ sandwiches, a piece of lemon meringue pie, and two Dr. Peppers. I'm bringing food so Bella and I can have an impromptu picnic of sorts in the back of the 4Runner.

I'm taking her to a place we used to trespass onto when we were in high school. Back then, finding somewhere to be alone was always difficult, but this place isn't near anyone or anything. Privacy's guaranteed. I own the property now, so there's no chance of getting arrested, which is always a good thing. It's exactly 6:00 when I pull into her drive. My tires haven't stopped rolling when she walks out the door and down the steps of the cabin.

 _Fuck me. She's wearing a mini-skirt._

Her legs have me so captivated that she's already hopping into the 4Runner before I even know what's going on.

"Hey," she says, her smile bright.

It's a testament to how happy she looks that I even notice her smile, because her legs are on display within reaching distance of my hand.

"What are we doing?" she asks while bouncing slightly in her seat, the excitement bubbling out of her.

"You'll see." She hates surprises. We don't have to go very far, so she'll be all right.

Narrowing her eyes, the look she gives me tells me I remembered correctly about the surprises, and she isn't pleased. My answering smile is comedic in its size and cheese factor.

When I make the turn that will take us to our spot, I see her head whip around to look at me. Her brown eyes are big, and she's trying to figure out what to say.

"Calm down. I just wanted to talk without people around, and as I recall, this place is pretty solitary." I try to reassure her but can't help the smirk that pulls at my lips. She laughs lightly and shakes her head at me.

Parking, I get out and walk around to the rear of the 4Runner, opening the tailgate and hatch. Bella joins me with the food I bought earlier. As we sit, enjoying the sustenance and the quiet comfort between us, I realize that this is the happiest I've been in God knows how long. I feel alive, wanting to be an active participant in life instead of just a bystander watching things happen. She makes me happy and angry and crazy, but more than anything, she makes me _feel._

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Thoughts?


	16. Chapter 16

As always, HUGE thank you's to Iris, Nic and Nin - you three kept me sane in the midst of a meltdown. Also to everyone reading/reviewing/lurking/stalking. I love each and everyone of you!

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BPOV

There are times when I hear people talk about past experiences, and I want so badly to crawl into their mind and be part of the memory. I want to participate in the feelings and emotions of the moment. Just reliving it through their words is exciting enough, but having actually been there must've really been something. I feel like this is one of those moments, but this time, I'm lucky enough to be the one it's happening to.

We're sitting on the tailgate of the 4Runner, and the right side of my body's flush with his and on fire from his heat. It's a strange feeling; half of me is cold from the wind and the other half's radiating warmth. My hands fall flat on the tailgate beside me while I swing my legs back and forth over the edge.

The hot and rough skin of his fingers slides between mine as he laces our fingers together. Tugging gently, he brings me even closer, laying our hands on his thigh. "I used to come here after you left. I'd spend days at a time out here and not even know it."

That hurts my heart to hear, but I'm glad he's talking. "Did you ever think about me?" The uncertainty in his voice grabs my attention. He's been talking into the forest around us, but with these words, he turns to look directly at me, his eyes burning into mine.

 _How could this beautiful man ever question that?_

"Of course I thought about you! All I wanted was for us to go away _together_. Your absence was a significant dent in that plan," I say teasingly, trying to lighten the mood. His insecurity's new but adorably cute. The setting sun's taken with it any warmth that was in the air, and it's getting frigid. A chill runs through my body as he lifts his arm and tucks me into his side. My nose automatically goes to his chest as I nuzzle into him.

His lips touch the top of my head, and his other arm wraps around me. I know he's smelling me right now, and I can't help but chuckle. We've always been like that, into each other's pheromones. I sometimes felt like a cartoon character, with the way my eyes would roll back into my head when I'd bury my nose in his neck and inhale his scent.

"Are you laughing at me?" I can feel his body shake with laughter while his hands begin to explore, looking for ticklish spots. The fingers of one hand dig into my side while the other finds my knee and attacks there. Trying to end the assault, I push him away while laughing at the same time he's pulling me closer, trying to get a better angle to tickle. We fall back into the bed of the 4Runner in a heap. The fun of the moment's replaced with that same crackling energy we naturally spark.

A smile still adorns his face, but there's an edge to it now. His eyes hood as his tongue slides along his lower lip before pulling me down to his mouth. Our lips stay pressed against each other while his hands come up and cradle my head. His fingers wrap around the back of my neck, urging me closer until my body's lying entirely on top of his.

The memories I was trying to push away earlier return vividly as images of us doing this very thing force themselves into my brain — him on top of me, behind me, inside me… His scent is the same now as it was then, and it adds to the headiness of the moment, making it more intense. All of my senses are consumed with him. A small, nagging voice in the back of my mind is telling me this is moving too fast.

Just like the last time, we're burning too hot, too quickly. My palms find his chest in an effort to push away. Instead, they fondle and appreciate the muscles there.

 _His body really is spectacular._

Fingertips trace patterns on my skin where my shirt has risen above the waistline of my too-short skirt. I knew wearing a skirt probably wasn't a good idea, but I always liked the way he looked at my legs. Apparently, some things don't change.

One hand slides down and grips my ass while he twists our bodies to the side so we're stretched out next to one another. Our lips are still connected, but he's slowing our pace way down. It's probably a good thing, because I don't think I have the willpower to stop.

"I missed you... so fucking much. I didn't even realize how much until you came back. I was in a holding pattern and had no idea until I saw you again." His babbling breath touches my face while his words chokehold my heart. And just like that, I freeze as fear ices over my body.

 _What happens in the morning when he's changed his mind again_?

Sensing my unease, he pulls back to look at my face. "What's wrong?" he whispers while stroking down the side of my face, making the ice thaw exponentially.

"I think... this time…" Taking a breath and releasing it, I try to form a coherent thought and complete a sentence. "Too fast. This is happening too fast."

 _There. I finished a thought._

His eyes find mine, and he nods in understanding. "Okay." We both sit upright, but he reaches out to secure my hand in his own, relacing our fingers together. "You want to go back up front so I can turn the heat on?" he asks, shrugging his shoulder toward the front seats. I agree, and we scramble out of the bed, moving quickly toward the warmth of the vents inside the cab.

As the engine cranks and the heat flows out, I hold my hands up to the hot air. We're quiet, both lost in our own thoughts. I'm wondering if I should tell him about the interview in Atlanta. I'm not sure where this is going, but that's something he needs to know before it starts — or goes any further.

 _And we were getting along so well._

"I've been looking for another job." I keep looking at my hands instead of the statue of a man next to me. I figure I'll ease him slowly into the news of my possible job. I don't know how he'll react, and I'm concerned it's not going to be good.

"Why are you looking for a different job? You work at the yard." He says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

I don't want to admit his having a vested interest in Jasper's business is the main reason, so I settle for a half-truth. "You had to have known it wouldn't be a permanent thing." And then, because I've wondered for so long, I ask, "What on earth made you want to buy into a lawn care business?"

He huffs out a breath and faces forward, no longer looking at me. Slumping into his seat, he leans his head back on the headrest before answering. "I was doing construction management at the time, and I thought I just wasn't happy with the work. But I'd gone to school, and it paid well, so…" He trails off.

"So you figured you'd just deal with it?" I ask. He nods in the affirmative and continues.

"One day, I ran into Jasper at a job site. Long story short, we became friends and started hanging out. He told me his business was struggling. He couldn't afford equipment or hiring workers to meet the demands of the customers. Because of that, he was missing out on jobs he could've gotten if he had the necessary tools and workers to do the jobs. He was between a rock and a hard place. It was instantly clear to me." He finishes the sentence with a shrug of his shoulders.

"What was?" My question makes him heave another breath before rolling his head to the side to look at me.

"The knowledge that I couldn't save _my_ family but I could help him provide for his." He whispers something right after that sounds like "fuck it," and before I can question it, he adds, "And I would finally get to be a part of _your_ family, even if I had to buy my way in."

He might speak before thinking and have his _moments_ , but sometimes, he can say the sweetest things without even trying. I launch myself at him and take _him_ by surprise for once. We pick right back up where I stopped us before — except his hands are headed for places that'll surely make me break down and have sex, and I don't want it to happen in a car. We did enough of that as teens, and having a house to have sex in is one of the positives of being an adult.

Prying myself away from him, I ask if we can go back to my cabin to continue things there. He agrees wholeheartedly, and we exit the woods quickly. Except for the music playing in the background, the ride back is quiet. His hand's in my lap, and it slowly begins its ascent upward, underneath my skirt. He never delves below my panties, but he instead chooses to drive me crazy with his touches over the material. Once we arrive, it's a race to get inside the cabin. He's barely put the 4Runner in park before we've jumped out and are running up the steps of the front deck.

After barreling through the front door, we're tangled up in each other, hands in hair and tongues in mouths. I drag him back to my bedroom. My hands are shaking, but he's calm and his grip's firm. We divest each other of our clothing as he picks me up and sets me down on the bed. He quickly climbs on top of me, separating my legs with his body. His mouth finds my breast, sucking a nipple inside and lightly biting it. Then he kisses his way to the other and down my body.

I feel his movement stop when his face is hovering over my pussy. He catches my eyes with his own before licking me from bottom to top. With a flattened tongue, he does it again and again. My orgasm's starting to build when I feel two thick fingers begin pumping in and out. He softly sucks my clit into his mouth, and I come apart.

He crawls back up to me and kisses me softly. I can feel his cock rubbing and slipping in my wetness. His urgency's barely controlled, and the slight movement of his hips seeking friction is enough to push him inside. He gasps at the same time I do, and we both freeze for a second.

Withdrawing himself, he leans up on his knees, takes his cock in his hand, and lines us up. I want to kiss his chest and lick his body all over. The definition of his abs with the cut of his hips is sexy, and I can't wait to see the muscles flex while he fucks me. Pulling my body to his, he enters me swiftly. He watches where we're joined with a look of awe that's mesmerizing, and it makes me want to watch, too. I lean up on my elbows to do just that.

"There's my little voyeur." His voice is low and sex infused. "I love watching you take my cock." And I'm done for. My second orgasm happens hard and fast, caused by his dirty words. I drop from my elbows back to the bed while he begins to pound into me, losing himself. Fingers grip my hips tightly, and I know there will be marks tomorrow. His head's thrown back, and with one last thrust, he comes.

He collapses on top of me, and I'm tired but extremely happy at the same time. My arms go around the upper half of his body, and I squeeze him with my thighs. A grunt escapes from his mouth before he rolls onto his back beside me. I'm wondering if there will be any weirdness like last time, but he relieves that fear quickly by pulling me to him and burying his nose in my hair.

We're surrounded by silence, but it's not uncomfortable. His fingers play through the strands of my hair, and our breathing eventually slows. This moment is nirvana, and I can almost believe everything's going to be okay with us. I really hope it will, but I'm not so naive as to think we don't have issues to work through. We drift off to sleep together, my leg between his and my head on his chest.

I'm pleased to wake up beside him without some crazy chick in front of my house. He's already awake and looking down at me, making me wonder if he's been watching me sleep.

 _And I'm the voyeur..._

"Hi." His smile's almost blinding. "Do you have coffee?" I giggle because I didn't expect for that to be the first thing he'd say, but at least he seems to be in a good mood. After telling him where to find the K-Cups, I flip over onto my stomach and pull the covers back up from where they'd wriggled down during the night.

He swats my ass playfully, saying, "Stay in bed. I'll bring you some." I snuggle back onto my pillow and listen to the sounds of him searching through my cabinets and drawers. Realizing that trying to go back to sleep is futile, I throw the covers off and hop out of bed. I join him in the kitchen, where he's now silent. The muscles in his back are flexed as both hands are gripping the edge of the counter top. His black boxer briefs are the only clothing covering his fine ass. Walking over to him, I wrap my arms around his waist and plant my lips onto his back. My hands begin a downward descent, but he stops them before I can make it to the goods.

"Garrett's your ex-fiancé, right?" His voice is razor sharp.

 _Oh, crap._

The note Garrett left me is between Edward's hands on the counter.

 _Where did he even find that?_

"When was he here?"

"Right after I first moved back, a couple of months ago." My arms are still around him, but he's got a hand over mine, getting ready to push me off. I let go before he can, and he turns around to look at me.

"Was it before we... Was it before I came here that night?" Something's simmering below the surface, and I don't understand why it matters.

"Yes. It was sometime around the first or second weekend I was here, I think." In all honesty, I'm not sure exactly when it was. I know I'd barely gotten anything unpacked, and I haven't spoken with Garrett since.

He looks from me back to the note, and his face crinkles in disgust. Before I can ask what that's about, he crumples the note into a ball and heaves it into the trashcan. "Hey! What are you doing?" Now I'm pissed and following his retreating form back into my bedroom.

He snatches his jeans from the floor and is forcefully thrusting each leg into them, muttering the whole time under his breath. I'm standing in the doorway, flabbergasted and confused, taking him in.

 _What the hell just happened?_

"What are you doing? Why are you so mad?" I genuinely don't understand. When it comes to Edward, though, that really isn't anything new.

"That fucker still thinks you're his!" he yells, pointing a finger in the direction of the kitchen toward the note. "He thinks you're here to 'find yourself' or some shit! Does he even know about me?!" Nostrils flare with every breath he takes, and his big, green eyes are filled with what seems like fear.

"He knows there was _someone_ , but he doesn't know any of the specifics." I shake my head, apprehensive about his response. I met Garrett years after Edward and I ended. I didn't see the need to go into details about a high school relationship with him. It was probably a good indicator I wasn't over said relationship, but hindsight and all that.

His glare's piercing, and with no preamble whatsoever, he crosses the room and grabs my face. His lips meet mine in an angry, passionate kiss. As always, my mouth opens to him; I have no control over myself when he's around.

My forehead rests against his, and we both take in a lungful of air. Our eyes open and lock at the same time. "I'll never _not_ fight for you, again. You're too important not to fight for. I'm not giving up this time."

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Thoughts?


	17. Chapter 17

Huge thank you to Iris, who works her ass off for her writers and the fandom as a whole. I appreciate everything you do, Lady! Nic and Nin, getting through a chapter without your help just wouldn't happen. Thank you both so, so much! And thanks to everyone reading! I love you guys!

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With his head against mine and a newfound confidence in his demeanor, he holds my face to his. Our lips meet, and once again, he's kissing the sense right out of me. His moods swing from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows at the drop of a dime, but at the moment, I can't find it in me to care. His tongue peeks out and slips between my lips, finding my own. I let the intensity and heat of the moment simmer, and allow him to taste me.

We're so good at _this_ part, in getting lost in the feeling and letting the rest of the world fade to black as we ignite in a fiery blaze. It's what we do, what we've always done. Knowing there's more to be talked about and vowing to do it _after,_ I let him consume me once again.

It's slow and steady this time. He slides into me softly, gently holding my body to his. His hips rock into mine as we find our rhythm. The rough pads of his fingers glide their way between my breasts and down my stomach, finding their way to my hips. Gripping me there, he uses the leverage to draw me closer and probably bruise me all over again. The mattress beneath me feels all wrong, and I just want to be wrapped up in his embrace.

Pulling myself up his body, I bring my chest flush with his torso. He bands his arms behind my back and continues loving me sweetly and easily. His pace quickens, and he buries his face into my neck, sucking the skin along my throat into his mouth. I come when I feel him bite down lightly, the sting of his teeth setting me off, and I hope he didn't leave any visible marks there, too.

Afterward, we're cuddled together, my head on his chest and his fingers lazily combing through my hair. "I think I'd rather be a rock star" is his reply when asked if he'd rather be a movie star or a rock star. "Imagine thousands of people chanting your name on a nightly basis. You don't get that being an actor."

Leaning my head back, I look at his smirking face. "I'm not sure your ego needs any more inflation," I say, teasing. He responds by tickling my ribs until I'm almost breathless and begging for a cease fire. Tickles turn into languid strokes, his fingers never leaving my skin. Instead, he spells words I can't make out across my back and down my arms. We lapse into silence, and I remember the deal I made with myself before giving into his fervor.

Figuring that ripping the Band-Aid is the best approach, I say, "You know how I told you about how I'm looking for another job?" I feel the movement of his hands falter before he answers.

"Yeah." The question and hesitation are evident in his voice.

"I have another interview. It's with an accounting firm I've wanted to work for since I was in college." I take a deep breath and get ready to rip that Band-Aid. "It's in Atlanta."

His body turns rigid beneath me, and his hand drops from my back to the bed. He whispers, "Goddamn it," and it's the only sound in the air surrounding us. I fall off his chest as he hastily scoots his body into a sitting position against the headboard.

"So, what? You're planning on moving back to Atlanta?" It feels like he's pulling away from me; he's preparing for a fight, but I don't want to fight anymore. Before I know what I'm doing, I'm straddling his waist. My hands frame his face, pulling it upward so he's forced to meet my gaze.

"I'm not saying that. It's just an interview, but it's something I can't _not_ do. I've worked my ass off for years, and a position like this just doesn't come along every day. Whether or not I get the job makes no difference as far as we're concerned." Because the two of us and the job aren't mutually exclusive… Because I'll always choose him. The rest is just semantics.

His wide, green eyes bore into mine. They're pleading with me and damn near break my heart. "What are we supposed to do? Just see each other on the weekends?" Shaking his head, he continues, "I want you in my bed every night, digging your cold ass feet under my legs, and stealing the covers while we sleep. How are we going to do that when you're down there and I'm here?" he asks.

"Can we cross that bridge when we get to it? Right now, it's only an interview." I'm as close to begging as it comes. I don't want to talk about this. If they offer me the job, then we can come back to the topic, but there's really no need to worry ourselves about something that may never come to fruition.

He nods in agreement but drops his head back against the headboard with a resounding thud. His eyes remain closed, and fingers are splayed across my thighs. He looks defeated, and it's almost enough to make me want to volunteer to cancel the interview.

 _Almost._

But I can't give up without trying, and I know I'd resent him for it later if I did. Besides, it's not as if Atlanta's across the country. And, like I said before, it's just an interview. I knew he'd be upset, but it feels like there's more to it than just the possibility of a job in Atlanta. I sit quietly in his lap, thinking over everything from the past few hours.

"Hey," I say, hoping to pull him back from wherever he's gone. His eyes open, but all I see is a look of resignation. Leaning forward, I pull his bottom lip into my mouth and suck hard, hoping he'll play along. He doesn't disappoint. He turns our bodies so my back is to the bed and he's on top of me, kissing me back eagerly. We continue making out until my lips are swollen and my stomach's growling in protest of not being fed. He presses three single kisses to my lips and pulls back to look at me before sweeping my hair back and away from my face.

"Do you want to go to Joey's and get some strawberry rolls?" I ask, hope evident in my voice. Joey's Pancake House is a step above a diner and a Maggie Valley staple. It's very touristy, but their strawberry rolls are mouthwatering. The strawberry preserves are made from scratch, and then a pancake is rolled around it and covered with powdered sugar. Edward loves them.

The left side of his face pulls upward in a halfhearted smile. "I'll go wherever you want." His eyes dart between my own while his heart's trying to gallop out of his chest. He places my bottom lip between his and gives me one last kiss before climbing off the bed and putting his clothes back on.

Once we're both dressed, we get into the 4Runner and head into Maggie. He takes my hand as soon as we're on our way. The burnt orange and red leaves of the trees catch my attention as they breeze by. I feel ashamed of myself for having taken the scenery for granted when I was younger.

"When's your interview?" he asks, his voice breaking into my thoughts.

"Friday at 2:00 p.m." I turn my head away from the foliage to take in the much prettier view sitting in the driver's seat.

"Are you spending the night down there, or are you driving down and back in the same day?" His tone's even and gives nothing away.

"I'm just going to drive down that morning and back as soon as the interview's over. Why do you ask?" My eyebrows scrunch together, trying to figure out what he's thinking.

"Just wondering," he states, keeping his eyes straight ahead. I don't think he's really looking for a response, so I let it go but continue watching his profile as he navigates us toward the restaurant. I take in the deep set of his eyes, the slope of his nose, and the pout of his lips that would make a Kardashian jealous. The neatly trimmed, auburn beard making that mouth stand out is just an added bonus.

 _He's so freaking hot._

The parking lot's full, so we have to circle around a few times before eventually snagging a space. We put our name on the list, and since the waiting area looks like a can of sardines, we decide to wait outside. Finding a vacated bench around the side of the building, we take a seat. From here, we can watch people as they come and go without being seen. We've only been sitting for a few minutes when I see Chase and Chelsea exit the building. She's walking in front of him with her arm stretched behind her, her hand firmly clasped in his. They're laughing at something, and with their combined good looks and enthusiasm, it's like they belong in a chewing gum commercial.

"He gets around, doesn't he?" I chuckle before remembering Edward was in a pretty serious relationship with this girl. I chance a look in his direction, waiting to see what his reaction will be. His face is stress-free and serene, like he can't be bothered to care. I think I might actually see a smile quirk his lips.

"He does, which is why I didn't want him anywhere near you," he says while picking up my hand and placing a kiss on the palm. Tingles shoot throughout my hand and up my arm from the unexpected sweetness of the gesture.

 _I wonder if seeing Chelsea with someone else bothers him…_

"Are you okay seeing her with someone else?" We haven't exactly defined what we are, and it hasn't been that long since they've broken up, so I could understand if he has residual feelings towards her.

"I'm perfectly fine. She was the driving force behind our relationship; I just went along with it because it was easier that way. Her goal in life is to be a stay-at-home mom for her 2.5 kids, but I'm not that guy." He shrugs and adds, "At least, I'm not that guy _for her_."

Since we're talking about past relationships, I want to set him straight about Garrett. "Garrett was kinda the same for me. I knew going in that my heart just wasn't into it the way it should've been, but I thought I'd eventually grow to love him. That just didn't happen, and I began to feel bad about myself. I mean, what kind of person agrees to marry someone they know they don't love? He never saw it coming, which made it even worse, and when Alice provided me an escape route, I bailed. He came here because Alice messaged him on Facebook, and long story short, he thought I wasn't happy."

"I have Alice to thank for you being here but also to choke for encouraging that tool?" He huffs and arches an eyebrow.

"Meddling is what she does best," I say, stating the obvious.

"Have you told her about interviewing in Atlanta?" he asks, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped under his chin.

"No. I told her I was interviewing, but I haven't told her about Atlanta." The last conversation Alice and I had about it ended with her in tears, and that was without mention of a different state. I can't imagine how bad it'll be telling her this. I'm not going to rock the boat unless I have a job offer firmly in hand.

The host steps outside and calls our name. We follow her inside are seated quickly. Neither of us has to look at the menu, because we already know what we want. Once we've ordered the strawberry rolls and have steaming cups of coffee in front of us, Edward clears his throat, gaining my attention, but he keeps his eyes trained on the table.

"So, Friday…" he says while stirring his coffee with a spoon, still not looking at me. My brows furrow as I try to figure out what he's asking.

"Yes, the interview's Friday."

"Would you... maybe... want a chauffeur?" he asks, finally looking at me from under his lashes. His shoulders are hunched, and he looks as uncomfortable as he must feel.

I can't help the smile that crosses my face. His adorable awkwardness is disarming. I'd love nothing more than to spend some time in Atlanta with Edward. My mind begins planning all the places I want to show him once we're there, and I almost forget he's waiting for my answer.

"I'd like that a lot," I answer, reassuring him with a nod. He breathes out a sigh of relief, and all the tension in his shoulders instantly disappears. His own smile spreads across his face, and we continue grinning at one another until our food arrives.

Eating our breakfast in no time, the stress of earlier in the day is forgotten for the moment. Once our stomachs are full, we leave and drive back to the cabin. He drops me off, with tentative plans for later in evening, but not before a minor make out session in the 4Runner. His eyes are bright, and his smile's even brighter as I tell him goodbye at my front door. I peek out the window and check out his ass as he walks down the steps. The memory of that naked ass gives me a megawatt smile of my very own.

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Thoughts?


	18. Chapter 18

Hi y'all! I know, _I_ _know,_ it's been a minute. I'm so sorry. My grandfather passed away in December, my husband had to have surgery on his stomach in Jan and I've been having health problems of my own. But, it's all okay...or it's going to be anyway! Thank you to Iris, Nic and Nin for not giving up on me and always being willing to help.

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The yard is bustling earlier than usual the following morning. Edward didn't stay with me last night, so my eyes are scanning the yard excitedly, searching him out. When I find his fine form talking with Emmett, I greedily drink him in. I recognize the instant he sees me watching him. A playful half-smile graces his face, and his body's already in motion to reconnect with mine. I'm sure I'm wearing the stupidest grin ever as he takes me into his arms and gives me the biggest hug before whispering, "Good morning, baby." He kisses my temple, and palm to palm, we make our way inside the office. I can feel the eyes of all the guys glued to our backs.

The day passes fast and uneventfully; it's sprinkled with multiple texts from Edward and baby pictures from Alice. I volunteer to grab some pizzas to bring to her house. The guys slowly start to trickle in, and Edward's one of the last. He's dirty, caked in mud, and somehow looking sexier than I've ever seen him. There's dirt under his right eye that acts as a highlighter to the green of his iris and a smudge across his chin that makes me want to see if I can smear the dirt without using my hands.

He takes me in, head tilting to the side and wondering what I'm thinking. My eyes travel the length of his body, and understanding dawns on his face. A smug smile somehow makes him look even hotter, but our private moment is ruined by Emmett.

"So... What's new, Bella?" Emmett goads, his eyebrows wagging. I can't even think of anything to say, and Emmett looks so pleased with himself. Right when I think Edward's going to let me fend for myself, he jumps in to rescue me.

"What are we doing for dinner? I'm starving," he says, taking my hand in his and pulling me out the door. I can hear Emmett exclaim "I _knew_ it!" as the door swiftly cuts him off before he can say anything else.

"I told Alice I'd bring her pizza. Wanna come?" I ask while walking backward, unable to mask the hope from my voice. Edward's eyes widen for a moment.

"Are you sure about that? Meeting the family's pretty serious business." Mischievous emeralds sparkle at me. He leans down, pecks my lips, and adds, "As long as you get Papa John's and not Little Caesars, I'm there." Apparently, Edward's a pizza snob.

He goes to his house to shower and change, and I head to mine to do the same. Standing under the spray of the water, my thoughts drift to Edward. He's probably standing in his shower, as well, thinking of me. I'm suddenly more aware of the slick, soapy film beneath my fingertips. My nipples harden, and an image of Edward stroking himself while water sluices down the muscles of his chest plays in my head.

I could easily get lost in this idea, but I don't have time to go there right now. Maybe later I'll get to see a live show, but for now, I've got pizzas and Edward to pick up. I'm meeting him at his house before we drive to Alice's together. I input the address he gave me earlier into my phone's navigation app and grin to myself as the hot Australian man's voice guides me to my man's place.

" _The destination will be on your left…"_

Oh, my.

I figured Edward probably built his own home, but wow! It's a couple of miles back and off a paved, main road. He doesn't have any neighbors, and a small driveway leads to a nice-sized, A-frame house. It has a huge deck on the second story, with stairs leading from the ground up to it. There's a barn in the back and a pond below. His 4Runner sits to the side of the stairs, where there's space for another car or two.

I send him a quick text to let him know I'm outside, and he's instantly standing on the porch, waving me up. His hair's darker than usual and slicked back, making me think he just finished taking a shower. Dark wash jeans sit on his hips, and an open, button-up flaps in the breeze, making it look like rust-colored paint has been smeared across his chest and down his abdomen. His junk funnels are on full display, and I think my tongue might be hanging from my mouth.

"Come up here. I want to show you my _casa_!" he calls from over the railing of the deck. He's leaning his forearms across the edge and clasping his hands together, waiting for me to climb the flight of stairs. I'm puffing and little out of breath once I reach the top. I jogged the stairs, not taking into consideration the steepness of the steps and my lack of daily exercise, but I couldn't go from a jog to a walk in front of him, so I kept jogging. I have to take a moment to catch my breath once I reach the top.

"Are you okay? Want to sit down for a minute?" A little smirk plays on his face while he teases me.

"I'm fine. Just didn't think I'd be doing gym activities before getting a tour of your house," I reply with a tone that equals me sticking my tongue out at him.

"Oh, baby. That wasn't even close to a workout. Let's go inside, and I'll work you out good and proper." His hands find my ass as he pulls me into his body and rubs his hardening dick against me. My lips are on his, and I'm so grateful he doesn't have neighbors. We're in full-on make-out mode before I remember we have somewhere to be.

I feel him smiling against my lips, so I open my eyes to peek up at him. The mischievous look on his face tells me he's up to no good, but he takes my hands and pulls me inside his house for a quick tour. We walk through a glass sliding door and into a living room decorated with tapestry chairs, ottomans, and a matching couch. They all depict a wildlife scene of deer grazing in a meadow. There's a fireplace with a mantle, and the biggest television I've ever seen outside of a sports bar hangs on the wall. Behind the living room is a kitchen with a hallway that leads to two other bedrooms and a bathroom.

His smile is a mile wide while he's playing tour guide. His excitement is infectious, and I find myself unable to contain a giggle as we drift from room to room. Everything's decorated in blues and browns and looks starched and new. It's very manly. We walk back down the hallway we came in from, turn to the right, and proceed up another flight of stairs that leads to a landing outside of another bedroom.

"Can you make it up the steps, or do you need to piggyback it?" he says as he begins to run up the steps and away from my hand as I try to smack at him.

"You're such an ass!" I'm trying to sound serious, but the laughter in my voice sells me out. He beats me to the top but holds his hand out to me. His eyes are dancing, and he looks so light and carefree. He leans forward, opening the door and giving it a push.

"My bedroom," he says. It's like an introduction, and he takes a step back, motioning for me to enter in front of him. A huge four-poster bed sits off to the left across from the floor-to-ceiling windows. A dark wooden dresser and chest of drawers that match the bed are against the wall. He walks in front of me and leads me into a bathroom where there's a stand-up, stone shower. There's also a clawfoot bathtub and a two-person vanity.

 _Jesus Christ._

This bathroom is what dreams are made of. He leads me back out, and I realize I somehow missed the walk-in closet on the way in. Seriously, I think I just fell in love with a house.

"That's pretty much everything," he says, his tone casual, like showing me his house didn't just make me want to move in with him.

"There's a basement on the first floor, but it's not finished, so there's not really much to see there." His hands find a place in his pockets, and I can feel him watching me, waiting for my thoughts about his home.

"Edward... God, it's beautiful." His face breaks into a wide, relieved smile.

As if anyone could ever not be enamored with this place.

"I know we have to hurry, but there's one more thing I want to show you." He finishes buttoning up his shirt and slides his feet into a pair of tennis shoes before taking my hand and leading me outside through a door at the back of the house.

A path that twists off to the left has been cleared as it leads into the woods that surround the house. We walk a short distance, and once we've turned the corner, there's a stone pathway leading to a wooden, octagonal gazebo. The ones at Lake Junaluska having nothing on this. Above the archway and down the sides are flowers intricately carved into the wood, and each side has a bench for sitting, complete with padded cushioning.

 _Holy shit._

"Edward…"

I don't have words for how amazing this is—all of it—him included. I turn to him with what must be a look of awe on my face, and he returns it with a shy smile as his hand comes up to rub the back of his neck. We walk over to the gazebo, and I step inside, letting my fingers graze the engraved flowers. Taking a seat on one of the benches, I imagine what it would be like to spend hours reading while surrounded by this.

I could easily lose track of time out here. Edward takes a seat beside me and leans in, placing a soft kiss on my lips before resting his forehead against mine. Eyes closed, he takes a deep breath before saying, "We need to get going. I've done nothing but imagine fucking you in here since I've been home, and if we sit much longer, that's exactly what's going to happen."

When his eyes open, they're dark and speak of illicit activities I hope to participate in soon. We walk hand in hand back to the house and down to the cars. He asks me if I'll spend the night with him tonight, and I readily agree. Maybe he won't have to just _imagine_ fucking me in the gazebo.

After swinging by to grab the pizzas, we make our way to Alice and Jasper's. He pulls the 4Runner into their drive and kills the engine. Looking at me, he says, "Are you ready for this?"

"I'm just hoping she'll be so distracted by the newness of the baby that she won't even think to ask questions," I reply, rolling my eyes.

"Okay, Bella." He chuckles. "Whatever you say." He's not at all buying the crap I'm selling.

"Really? _Whatever_ I say? How far does that extend to?" My left eyebrow arches, sending his mind straight to the gutter, which is exactly where I was hoping it'd go.

"That's so not nice, Bella." I can't help but laugh at how distraught he sounds. We climb out of the 4Runner with pizza in tow and make our way inside. I knock twice before opening the door and poking my head in.

"Hey, guys! It's just me!" I call out. I step inside and am suddenly completely swarmed by kids who seem appear out of nowhere. Apparently, the fragrance of pizza calls to children like no other. They grab the pizzas and carry them into the kitchen, with Edward and me following.

"Where are your mom and dad?" I ask, hoping they're not going to snarf all of the food. It's amazing how small they are and are still able to double fist pizza. Scarlett informs me that her daddy's in the shower because "Rennie's butt explooooooooded all over him!" She has sauce on her face up to her nose and laughs open-mouthed while telling me this. Edward laughs right along with her while reaching for a slice himself. Seeing that the pizza's dwindling, I grab two slices of my own.

Alice walks into the kitchen a few seconds later, holding the baby in her arms. She looks tired but happy, and she's apparently hungry, as she doesn't bother with a greeting, heading straight to the pizza boxes instead.

"This smells _so_ good! Thank you so much," she says before tearing into the pizza with gusto. She finally looks up from behind her crust and raises her eyebrows. Her eyes move back and forth between Edward and me. I can see it all over her face; she's thinking, "What does this mean?!" But her mouth is stuffed with pizza, and common table manners won't allow her to talk with her mouth full. Thank God. I can see her struggling to chew her food into pieces small enough to swallow quickly without choking, and sensing I have an advantage here, I speak before she has a chance to ask us any questions.

"I need to take Friday off." She stops chewing while furrowing her brows and pursing her lips. I understand her well enough to know she's silently asking me why.

"I have an interview!" I'm putting a little extra enthusiasm into my exclamation and leaving out the exact location of the potential job, hoping she'll focus on being happy for me. It seems to work.

"Well, you know I'd like to keep you working with me forever, but I hope it works out for you, if it's really something you want." She finishes her slice, and after wiping her hands on a napkin, she wraps the arm not holding Serenity around me, squeezing tightly. Moments like these still make me a little uncomfortable, but they're getting easier. She takes a step back and asks if I'd like to hold the baby. Carefully, she passes a sleeping Serenity to me.

Serenity's mouth is pursed and slightly open, with one of her tiny hands cradling her sweet little face. She's a wonderful mix of both her mother and father and is just so precious. Glancing up, my eyes catch Edward's stare, and judging by the look he's giving me, we're going to be practicing making one very soon.

And definitely more than once.

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 _junk funnels – sexy "V" lines of men's hips_


	19. Chapter 19

As always, thank you Iris, Nic and Nin for all that you do. You guys are so wonderful and I don't know what I'd do without y'all. I'm sorry my updates aren't as often as they used to be. But at least I'm writing, right? Thank you guys for sticking with me. I hope you enjoy.

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We've barely made it back to the 4Runner before he's on me. His fingers are twisted into my hair, fisting it so tightly that my head is forced backward. His lips drag along the length of my neck while his beard tickles the skin there, creating goosebumps across my body. Soft swipes of his tongue mix with the sharp sting of teeth nipping while he pulls the neck of my shirt out of his way to expose more of my body.

"If we weren't outside your sister's house, I'd fuck you right here." The warmth of his breath flows from between his lips and over my already sensitive skin, causing me to shiver. A finger slides under the strap of my bra, slowly letting it fall off my shoulder, and my nipples harden instantly. I feel him press a tender kiss where my neck meets shoulder. Lips part, and his tongue sensuously strokes my throat. The hunger from before slows as the intensity of his kisses deepen.

"Please... Get us back to your house. Or mine. Whichever's closer," I pant. That's what this man can do to me with a few kisses and twelve words. He pulls away from my neck and locks eyes with me. The depth of his gaze is almost unnerving, but I refuse to break eye contact. He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, then slowly lets it slip back out of his mouth. He leans forward and kisses my lips once more before righting himself in the seat and starting the 4Runner.

The drive back to his house takes forever, and he only makes it worse by teasing me the entire way. His hand grips my inner thigh, and his pinkie rubs against the seam of my jeans between my legs. I felt it immediately the first time he did it and realized it was intentional when I looked over at him and was met with a smirk on his sexy face.

Once we're inside, he leads me by the hand into his room upstairs. I've been teased to the point of insanity, and all bets are off. After pushing him against the wall, I lower myself to my knees and unfasten his jeans. I pull him out of his underwear and hungrily take him in my mouth. After hearing a thud, I look up to see his head and upper back flush against the wall. His eyes catch mine as his fingers tangle into my hair, and together, we find a rhythm. His breathing is quick and shallow, making me smirk at the ability of making _him_ pant.

"Can you take me all the way down?" His question catches me off guard and turns me on, more than I already am, all at once. I take my hand away and relax my throat, letting him slide down. Both of his hands come to rest on my head as his hips begin to thrust. I place my hands on his ass, feeling it tense with every push into my mouth.

As fast as it started, it stops. He picks me up and places my feet on the ground. The confusion must be evident on my face because he quickly explains. "I want to lick your pussy while my cock's down your throat."

 _Jesus Christ._

My clothes are swiftly divested from my body, and then he's on the bed, staring up at me with lust-filled eyes. I've only ever done this with him, and it's been a really long time since it happened, so I'm hesitant to just climb on up.

He must sense my hesitation because he smiles that killer smile at me as he quirks two fingers in a "come here"gesture. My body knows its master and is moving in his direction before I've even given it the okay. I kneel on the bed next to his body, and before I can change my mind, he's got me straddling his head. His hand strokes his cock while I lower myself onto his face. My eyes roll back into my head as his talented tongue works me over. I momentarily forget about reciprocating while I enjoy what his mouth is doing to me. I feel a tug on one of my arms and realize he's trying to guide my hand to touch his cock. I lean forward and take him into my mouth once again, letting him slide down my throat.

Two fingers enter me as he continues licking, making it harder and harder to focus on taking him as deep as I can without choking. My orgasm builds rapidly and takes me over, causing me to scream out a combination of his name and "fuck." While I'm coming down from one of the best orgasms I've ever had, he slides out from underneath me and enters me from behind. It's fast, hard, and amazing. His hands squeeze my hips tightly as he pounds into me.

"I'm gonna come!" I hear it seconds before he stills against me. Both of us collapse, him onto me and me onto the bed. We lie like that for as long as it takes for our breathing to return to normal. Rolling onto his back, he tries to pull me with him, but I resist long enough to go clean up. Once I've finished, I rejoin him in bed. He flips us to where he's wrapped around me and his hands are resting on my stomach. I feel him press a kiss to the back of my hair before he moves it out of the way and rests his forehead against the back of my neck. A contented hum leaves his lips, and it gets lost in the air surrounding us.

We quickly find sleep, and the sun comes screaming through his windows the following morning. "Holy hell. That's ridiculously bright." I realize my comment is to myself when I notice Edward isn't in bed with me. I find his shirt where we left it last night, quickly throw it over my head, and search him out. My feet have barely hit the steps when the aroma of bacon-y goodness greets my nostrils. My pace picks up, and I'm practically tripping over myself to sniff out the source of the heavenly scent.

He's standing in the kitchen, clad only in camo boxer briefs, plating up what looks to be bacon and eggs. At my entrance, he turns to see what's making all the commotion and brightly beams. "Mornin'. You hungry?" His eyebrow lifts in question before he rethinks it and says, "For food?" Both eyebrows waggle, and the corners of his delectable mouth turn up into a smug "I know you want me" grin.

"If you weren't feeding me, I'm sure I could come up with a witty retort, but as it is, I'm too hungry... for food…" I give him a pointed look before adding, "…to think that fast." I put my hands out and wiggle my fingers. "Gimme, gimme, gimme!" He laughs and tells me to sit down at the breakfast bar, where he sets one of the plates in front of me and another across from me. He brings coffee, and as I'm about to ask for cream and sugar, he says, "Cream and sugar are already in there. And yes, it tastes like sugar with a hint of coffee and a few splashes of cream. You know, like something a twelve-year-old would drink."

"I'm ignoring you," I say in a sing-song voice as I take a sip of my childish beverage. It's perfect. I couldn't have made it better myself. As the liquid sucrose perfection coats my tongue, I look up at him in surprise. I've only been drinking coffee like this since I was child, so I shouldn't be surprised he remembered. I am, though. He gives me an indulgent smile and tells me to eat my food before it gets cold. After breakfast, I get dressed while we decide he'll pick me up at my house after work tomorrow. Then we'll drive down to Atlanta to spend the night before my interview the following day.

After a sweet kiss goodbye, I leave him standing on his deck, watching me as I drive away. A pang in my chest makes itself known as his silhouette gets smaller and smaller. I roll my eyes in exasperation with myself.

 _Get a grip, Bella._

Once back at my house, I start washing the pile of clothes I've been neglecting for the past few days. I'm usually a procrastinator and wait until the last minute to pack before going on trips, but I want to be ready to go as soon as work is over with tomorrow.

I already know what I'm wearing to the interview, so that's one less thing to worry about.

The interview.

It's something that's weighing heavily on my mind, and I'm not quite sure why. I'm extremely confident in my abilities as an accountant, but there's something nagging at me. It feels like a lead weight in my gut, sitting and growing as the hours pass by until I've almost grown accustomed to the uncomfortableness it brings.

The following day, I'm completely useless. I'm looking forward to showing Edward around Atlanta, but there's just this lingering, unsettling feeling I can't seem to shake. Edward notices and remains quiet about it for the first hour of our trip, but by hour two, he's grown impatient with waiting for me to tell him what's bothering me and decides to just call me out.

"What's up with you? Are you that nervous about this interview?" His brows furrow and pucker in the middle.

"Yeah, I guess. It's just… I don't actually know what it is. This is something I've always wanted, you know? But it just doesn't feel like I thought it would. I thought getting the interview would bring some kind of relief or inner peace, almost like a validation that the choices I've made were the right ones and this is the light at the end of the tunnel—the justification for everything I've done—but it just doesn't _feel_ like something that important should feel." My hands are fumbling in my lap before he reaches over to still them. His rough fingers spread mine apart, gripping my hand firmly.

"This can be whatever you need for it to be. If this job is what you want, then go into this guy's office and nail it. Don't take no for an answer. But if after you talk with him, you decide it's not what you want, then don't take the job. Maybe this isn't the justification you're looking for. Maybe it's just an interview with no further purpose or meaning. It can just be about that. But in no way, shape, or form does it mean you've not chosen your path correctly. You're right where you're supposed to be." Pulling my hand to his lips, he places a kiss to the back of it, and the knot of unease in the pit of my stomach loosens somewhat.

There's a billboard for a country store that has goats on its roof, and after much pleading from me, Edward agrees to stop. You can't get close to the goats, but for an overpriced fee, you can string a bucket of food to them. This is such a tourist trap, but as we walk around the store and look at souvenirs, I can't begin to feel even a little bad about getting sucked in. They have all kinds of junk people get when they go on vacation—the kind that stays in that one drawer in your kitchen that holds all of your crap because it doesn't have a specific place to go. We see hillbilly teeth, corncob pipes, and the American flag marked on just about anything you never knew you wanted, all with a goat stamped across it.

I look around for something to buy but come up short. Maybe we can stop again on the way home and I'll find something I can't live without. We grab some candy, Edward making sure to catch my eye as he snags some Pop Rocks and a Dr. Pepper, sufficiently sending my heart into double-time staccato. We pay and leisurely walk back to the 4Runner.

"Remind me to ask you something _after_ your interview, okay?" he asks as we're getting back onto the highway, green eyes peeking at me from under lush lashes.

"Why can't you ask me now?" I'm genuinely perplexed.

 _What on earth could he want to know that he can't ask me about now?_

"It's something I think I need answered, but it can only be answered after your meeting. It's nothing to worry about or anything. Just… after _."_ His hand reaches to turn the radio up a little, effectively silencing any further questions from me. I open my bag of gummy bears and start picking out the red and white ones, which are the only colors I'll eat.

"I can't believe you _still_ won't eat those like a normal person." He scoffs at my gummy bear etiquette. I side-eye him as I pop a few more reds into my mouth. Taking a swig of my soda, I wash the masticated bears down before I reply.

"Yeah? And I can't believe you're listening to Top 40 music. Didn't you used to make fun of me for the very same thing?" As if to prove my point, a Taylor Swift song begins to play.

"Who says I didn't put this on for you?" he asks, giving me his version of a bitch brow. I throw a couple more white gummies into my mouth and answer with a non-committal hum. Even though I'm not a Taylor Swift fan, I'll admit that her songs are like candy for the ears. I know a lot of the lyrics and begrudgingly find myself singing along. I'm pretty sure I hear Edward humming along, too, even though I know he'd never admit to it.

We continue enjoying the drive and taking in the tree-covered mountains along the winding back road that will lead to my former life. My mind once again gets lost thinking about everything and nothing before I'm snapped back into the moment by Edward turning to me and singing in an overtly fake Jamaican accent. "Bada bang bang... Bada bang bang." At first, I think he's just saying nonsensical words but soon realize he's doing Sean Paul's part in "Cheap Thrills."

My cheeks hurt with how hard I'm smiling right now, and then he adds, "More dan diamonds, more dan gold." With that, I'm cracking up. My sides hurt from laughing so hard, and tears pool in my eyes, making the lights of the city on the horizon blur into one luminous strobe.

And that's how we roll into Atlanta: smiling, happy, and carefree.

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Thank you for reading :)


	20. Chapter 20

Hey y'all. So, I have no excuses. I'm sorry. Writers block is real and it sucks. If anyone is still out there and still cares enough to read this, thank you. Thank you Nic, Nan and Iris...I love you guys.

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We arrive at our hotel in Atlantic Station after several middle-finger salutes and a few obscenity-laced exclamations. I couldn't help but laugh as Edward navigated the interstate and then the city streets of Atlanta, looking a little worse for the wear.

"What the fuck is wrong with the people here? I've never seen so many terrible drivers in one place before!" he grouses. I try to hide my smirk. I know the city's a lot to take, but my smile stretches wide at being back here and having Edward with me. I have so many things I want to show him and not enough time to do it in. After entering our hotel room, I walk to the window and open the drapes as wide as they'll go.

"After my interview, do you want to check out World of Coke? Or the aquarium? Ooh! What about The Bodies Museum?" My voice rises in both volume and pitch with each new idea. I'm so giddy at all the prospects I almost miss his look of pure disgust.

"Like, corpses on display?" His nose wrinkles up, and he looks horrified as he lays himself back on the king-sized bed, folding an arm beneath his head.

"It's not as ghastly as you're making it out to be. It's pretty cool, actually." I turn away from the view outside to an even better one reclined on the bed.

"I reacted the same way when I'd first heard people talking about it. Your mind conjures up crime scenes, but the reality is more textbook than _CSI_. There's this one exhibit that has a body sliced into all these different planes, so if you stuck them all together, it's like the body would still be intact." I'd hoped he'd be into it, but after that description, he says, "You know what? World of Coke sounds really appealing."

I laugh and shake my head in gentle reproach. "You're such a wuss!" I make my way over to the bed and kneel, preparing to lay myself down beside him, when he grabs me and starts to tickle me.

"Yeah? And you're a morbid weirdo!" he says as he slides his hand under the hem of my shirt and digs his digits into my ribs. I wasn't expecting it, so it causes me to suck in a breath at the same time as I'm exhaling a laugh, sounding like a snort.

We both start laughing even harder, which stops the tickling. The bedsheets wrap around my body, and I'm enjoying lying here next to him, soaking up his company. I curl into his side, lay my head on his chest, and throw a leg between his.

His growling stomach interrupts the moment. "Come on. Let's go find something to eat, preferably with no corpses," he says as he rolls away before my swatting hand can connect.

Atlantic Station has several restaurants, retail shops, and a movie theatre within walking distance of our hotel. We choose the closest place, Atlantic Grill. The hostess seats us at a cozy table for two and helps herself to an eyeful of Edward before sashaying away. I don't blame her; he's definitely something to look at.

After dinner, we walk around the rest of Atlantic Station, taking in the sights and people. It's starting to get late, but there are people everywhere. It's such a drastic difference from home.

Wow. I just referred to Waynesville as home.

As we walk hand in hand, my mind drifts. For as long as I can remember, I've considered Atlanta my home, and now I'm struck by how different it all feels. It's not familiar to me anymore. I'm just a visitor here. My mood becomes a little melancholy with this realization.

"What has your face all pursed up like a lemon?" he says with a teasing tone. I give him my best side-eye and try my hardest to pout, but my face cracks and a smile appears. He just makes me happy, and I can't even fight it.

"How're your parents doing?" I'm not sure where the thought comes from, but he hasn't mentioned them in the past few days and I just realized I don't even know if they're still around.

He has questions in his eyes but doesn't ask them. "They're good. They moved to Charleston a couple of years ago."

"So it's just you in Waynesville?" It's comes out a little sadder than I'd anticipated.

"Just me. All alone. All by myself with no one else around." He grins, making fun of me.

And just like that, my mood has lightened. "You fucker!" I shout, possibly too loudly as I get a disapproving look from a passerby. Our eyes connect, and we can't contain our giggles as we make our way back to the hotel.

The lock on the door flashes a green light after I've inserted the card, and he pushes my hair to the side, kissing my neck as he pushes the door open. After we cross the threshold, he turns me to face him. Callused palms gently cradle my face, and his lips softly press to mine. It's slow and controlled; he's not letting us burn too quickly.

"Come take a shower with me?" Smoldering green embers dance in the fluorescent lighting. I feel my head nod while my brain tries to catch up with the rest of my body that's already following. He strips on the way to the small bathroom, leaving a path of clothes in his wake.

Pale, wide shoulders taper down into a muscular back with twin dimples set above the most perfect ass I've ever seen. Cords of muscle twist and ripple with his movements, calling to my hands and mouth. I wrap myself around his torso, hugging him from behind as the bathroom fills up with steam. He adjusts the water temperature before pulling me into the shower and pinning me against the cold tiles. His mouth swallows my gasp as he slides his tongue to mingle with mine. He opens my legs, setting one on the ledge of the tub as he drops to his knees in front of me. He loves me with his mouth and fingers, making sure I find my release before standing and turning me to face away.

He enters me swiftly but loves me slowly. His palms lie flat against the backs of my hands, weaving our fingers together. He moves in and out, trying to make me fall over the edge again before he follows. Only once he's sure I've gotten there a second time does he finish inside me.

The tile's no longer cold, and I'm flush against it, catching my breath as he leans against me. I can feel his heart racing through my back. He kisses my shoulder before pulling out. We finish our shower, actually getting clean this time, before crawling into bed and passing out in exhaustion and bliss.

The industrially thick curtains keep out the sunlight, allowing us to sleep late. Cocooned in the bed, we wake a little past 10:00 and stay there for another hour while we debate ordering breakfast or lunch.

"I don't know of any good breakfast restaurants, and I really want to take you to The Varsity. They've got the best hotdogs you'll ever put in your mouth." His wolfish grin tells me I've accomplished giving him dirty thoughts and succeeded in getting my way. We take our time getting dressed and make our way to The Varsity.

We order our dogs and onion rings at the counter before finding a seat by the windows overlooking Spring Street. He moans loudly as he inhales his first hotdog. My eyes light up at his exuberance of how tasty he finds the food. He washes it down with a gulp of soda. "You were right. That's pretty freaking good." His second dog is gone before I've finished my first. I only allow myself one onion ring since they're huge and I don't want to feel gross during my interview.

Afterward, we get an ice cream to share and head back to the hotel so I can prepare a little for my interview. I feel like I'm suiting up for battle. My black pencil skirt and white button-down are my armor, and the piece de resistance is a pair of black heels. It's not a new outfit by any means; it's one I used to wear to work, but it feels like it's from a lifetime ago. It fits perfectly, and judging by Edward's ogling, it looks good on me. But I feel restrained. Everything's too tight, almost as if I can't breathe. The fabric feels scratchy against my skin.

I try to focus on the information I've prepared and what I've learned about the company and the position I'm interviewing for—anything to keep from hyperventilating. I don't know why I'm freaking out like this, but it's almost too much. I want to hulk out of this confining shirt and bury myself under the sheets in the bed.

"We should probably head out soon," he says, leaning against the frame of the door, crossing his arms over his chest. My hands are flat on the countertop of the vanity, and I force myself to look at my reflection in the mirror. The made-up face of the woman I used to be stares back at me.

I can do this.

"I always pictured you in my mind, what I thought you'd look like dressed for work at a city job. My mind didn't do you justice." His teeth bite into his bottom lip, and he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before exhaling. When his eyes open, they're locked onto mine. "You ready to do this thing?"

We arrive at the building in which PricewaterhouseCoopers is situated. Street parking is nonexistent this time of day, so we have to park in the deck below street level. Edward maneuvers the 4Runner into a space as well as can be expected, given the size of the behemoth. Once we're out and walking into the building, he keeps looking over his shoulder at the 4Runner.

"Don't worry. She's safe. There's very little crime here during the day. We'll be back before the bad guys come out and try to steal her. That doesn't happen until after dark." Teasing him takes my mind off the nervous flips my stomach is doing.

"I'm not worried about it getting stolen. I was just trying to make sure I didn't park like an asshole. These spaces are meant for Priuses or some shit." He reaches out and pinches my side. "Smartass." His hand finds mine, and he winds our fingers together as he leans down and places a kiss on my temple.

"The spaces were designed to fit as many cars as possible. They were striped long before men started showing the size of their dicks by the size of their tires." I look pointedly at him because it's a running joke at home.

"I just like the way it looks. Besides, you know I've got nothing to prove." He grins salaciously.

We take the elevator to the lobby, and he squeezes my hand before kissing the back of it. He tells me to break a leg and sends me on my way. I watch him walk into Café Intermezzo to purchase some Starbucks-wanna-be coffee and wait until I'm done.

A sense of dread washes over me as I wait for the elevator to take me up. After pressing the button and waiting for what feels like a lifetime, the doors open and I walk out into a very sterile-looking lobby area. A blond-haired man sits at a desk beyond a set of glass doors. As I walk through the doors, I catch his eye and smile, but his face remains impassive.

I walk up to the desk, and he raises one meticulously groomed eyebrow, silently asking why I've interrupted whatever it was he was doing.

"My name's Bella Swan. I have a 2:00 with Mr. Stamm." My voice lifts at the end, almost like I'm asking if I have an appointment.

"Have a seat. I'll let him know you're here." I'm dismissed with a flick of his wrist.

As I sit and wait, I can't help but feel the dread turn into full-blown panic. My mind is screaming at me to run away, not walk, as fast as my nonsensible four-inch heels can carry me. I look around at the people milling about, and I swear they all look unhappy and miserable.

I'm imagining things because I'm nervous.

Yeah, that's what it is. I've wanted this for as long as I can remember, and being so close is making me freak out. That's what I do best, right?

 _Yes. Yes, you do._

"Bella?" A statuesque African-American woman greets me with a bright smile and a hand stretched out to shake my own. She's strikingly beautiful, and her eyes fix on mine as she introduces herself. Her touch grounds me, making me feel infinitesimally better.

"I'm Zafrina, Mr. Stamm's assistant. If you'll follow me this way…" She turns and walks us through a maze of cubicles. The nerves that had abated at Zafrina's presence have suddenly returned, and it's like I'm walking to the executioner. My feet feel like they weigh ten pounds apiece. I can remember a place identical to this that I ran like hell to get away from not so long ago.

 _Deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth._

Zafrina leads us to a corner office with floor-to-ceiling glass windows that showcase the city. J. Hunter Stamm stands from behind his desk, looking as pretentious as his name sounds. He offers me a seat as Zafrina makes her way back to her cubicle outside of his office.

"Well, Bella. Let's get right to it, shall we?" Without waiting for a response from me, he plows right on through. "I see that you graduated top of your class and were an entry-level accountant for AT&T. What made you decide to leave?" His deep-set, cool-blue eyes zero in on me.

I blow out a breath before deciding exactly how forthcoming I want to be. I left because I couldn't stand the pace anymore. My drive left without me, and I was burned out beyond belief. I couldn't stomach the thought of pretending to care about the bottom line for another second.

"The room for growth just wasn't there. I'd done a summer internship with AT&T before I graduated, and they hired me afterward. I was just looking for more." Kind of the truth.

We continue to talk, him asking all the requisite job interview questions and me answering in a purely "patting myself on the back" sort of way. I keep crossing and uncrossing my legs, trying to keep those ugly red circles from appearing on my knees and on the backs of my calves.

"I'm going to be honest with you. You came highly recommended, and I genuinely need someone to fill this position. You have the kind of background I was hoping to see, and I think you'd be a good fit. I have a few more interviews, but I'd like to have HR give you a call and see if we can come to an agreement on salary."

And just like that, my future seems right in front of my face. Everything I've strived for and worked so damn hard for is right there, being handed to me on a silver platter. It should be a moment where my cheeks ache from smiling, but I can barely manage, "That sounds great. Thank you very much." I slap a smile across my face and hope it doesn't look like I'm constipated.

I can't get away from his office quick enough. I press the elevator's down button like an overexcited child. Holding my breath the entire ride down, I bolt once the doors open. My chest forcefully slams into a hard body, stopping me in my tracks. As I'm apologizing for my clumsiness, a familiar voice cuts in.

"Bella?"

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I have the next chap written and it's with Iris right now. I'll see you soon. :)


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